Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be underwhelmed with gifts

280 replies

VladimirPouting · 25/12/2017 08:11

Just that really. I’m not grabby, I just though after 12 yrs DH would’ve got better at presents by now. I’ve bought everything for DS, him, his family, my family, his work secret Santa etc. I am literally the only one to buy for.

Hat, scarf and gloves set
PJ’s that are too small
Fluffy socks (I do ask for them every year!)
Chocolate
Some Jam
A candle (that he found in the cupboard and is regifted to me again)

Please can you share your underwhelming presents and make me feel better?

OP posts:
PolarBearkshire · 26/12/2017 21:08

Give him equal stuff. Many men are very lax at gifting unless if you show him something dear and not some fluffy socks you can buy yourself? Put your bar low- thats what you get.
I always adjust my gifts to givers - cant really afford to become bothered why they keep giving me cheap crap

Angelamary73 · 26/12/2017 21:40

My ex husband used to get me ‘thoughtful’gifts when I asked for other stuff, one year I got a guitar as I had once said I wished I could play guitar, a coffee machine because guess what, I like coffee and a bread maker!!?. I got a telescope and a Wii when I said we should get one (for the kids!...not me), I asked for smellies, and more specific things that I never received....because he was so thoughtful haha but I was made to feel bad because I didn’t appreciate the gifts.

Hygge123 · 26/12/2017 22:27

My 40th birthday present was a book on how to clean your house. My 50th was a pair of guinea pig slippers (too small) and an exercise wheel. Now I insist he gives me a wish list the week before and he takes the hint and asks for one from me. I got just what I was hoping for this year! I think I've learned not to be a martyr and be quite direct, as he genuinely doesn't get the whole present thing.

Constance17 · 26/12/2017 23:11

Next year instead of getting something for him just treat yourself, wrap it up pretty and stick it under the tree. At least you know you're getting something you'd love. Am sure his family knows he is rubbish, just don't get involved. Less hassle...

MyNameIsJane · 26/12/2017 23:40

I felt quite sad at the presents my dad bought my mum. A callus remover and a pedi-egg wrapped in an Ocado bag.

She did stocking presents for all of her adult children and their spouses as well as the main presents.

I’m going to ensure that he treats her next year.

ToftyAC · 26/12/2017 23:41

Consider yourself lucky. After buying the kids’ pressies, his pressies and his family’s pressies my OH bought me nothing.

ToftyAC · 26/12/2017 23:42

Ps - that’s me pressie buying not OH

rudolphslittlehelper · 26/12/2017 23:49

DH's present to me was that he got us tickets to a festival next year - a nice present

Not a nice gift at all. Any tickets to an event that include the giver attending is not a gift. He got himself a gift and is letting you tag along.

LunchBoxPolice · 26/12/2017 23:55

I'm divorced so I don't have a dh to let me down, wahoo Grin

Same as a previous poster I received a trio of Impulse body spray. I don't use body spray, not sure what it's for. Just use deodorant and perfume.

MindWhirl · 26/12/2017 23:56

My underwhelming gift this year was one of those giant chuppa chop lollipop things, although not from dh it was from my dm. I'm diabetic and didn't even like lollipops as a child very thoughtless present and still no idea why she thought I'd enjoy it.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/12/2017 00:21

I think gift giving is a skill that really needs to be taught early. I (happily!!) don't have a dh any more but I make sure the ds's have enough pocket money in December to buy me a gift. Ds1 bought me socks and bath stuff (I did drop hints, but he took the time to check what I use and get it). Ds2 bought me something really sweet that reminded him of a book we had read together. I figure my future daughters in law will thank me!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2017 00:25

Rudolph’s: of course that’s a nice present if it’s an occasion that the person receiving it will love. They wouldn’t enjoy going on their own I’m sure. If I was given tickets to a festival the first person I’d choose to go with me would be my DH, so I’d be totally happy to consider that as a nice gift.

I can see your point if it’s for a festival that your other half wants to go to and it’s not your thing. But I don’t think that was the case in the example given.

Ineke · 27/12/2017 01:41

My DP always says he does not want anything. But, then he sulks if he gets nothing. So I get him small things, socks, handkerchiefs, and always a book. If he has something new to read he is not dithering about! I get nothing from him which I have got used to now, my Secret Santa from work stays under the tree till a few days after Christmas, it's the anticipation that's exciting and giving yourself a moment when all the fuss has died down. My children put thought into their gifts which has more meaning than expensive presents.

80sMum · 27/12/2017 02:04

One thing I don't understand is when people buy something as a Christmas gift and the recipient not only knows what it is but chose it themself in the shop, or has already tried it on in the shop - but then that same gift is wrapped up and put under the tree!!

What on earth is the point of wrapping it up and keeping it until Christmas day? Why not just give it on the day it was bought? I understand that children might be upset not to have something to unwrap on Christmas day, but does it really matter that much once you're grown up? What's the difference between receiving it on, say, 15th December and the 25th December?

mummyof3kids · 27/12/2017 02:24

I had nothing from DH. Eldest daughter (student) got me a gift set from lush. MIL regifted a M&S set that my DH’s ex got her last year. We usually get the gifts we bought MIL given to the other. MIL is not short of cash, literally millions in the bank (there is a FIL but he has no say in anything, he is a broken man). MIL just hates giving anything to others who are not her bloodline. She is very generous moneywise to my husband and his sibling (with stipulations that any cash is not spent on spouses, and goes on cars, property and other such items ). DH is getting meaner and more like his mother as the years go by also. He is also fairly wealthy in his own right and buys himself plenty of expensive gifts (cars, bikes, holidays, activities). I just graciously say thank you for whatever I do get and buy myself the stuff I need/want from my own earnings.

TooManyPaws · 27/12/2017 03:21

Just be glad you actually have someone to give you gifts, no matter how crap.

I don't have anyone human but my dogs and cats are very generous to me.

My dad used to get me to buy Mum's presents but always did a 15 minute visit to the village jeweller next to the paper shop to buy us each a pair of gold earrings or brooch - every year because he couldn't think of anything else Grin. Just as well I'm the earring queen.

SteadyFreddie · 27/12/2017 04:28

A hot water bottle from SIL and BIL.

PoffertjePlease · 27/12/2017 07:22

Dh gave me a jigsaw of Henry the Eighth from a charity shop.

whiteroseredrose · 27/12/2017 07:55

Too skint this year to spend much on presents but in the olden days I'd give DH a huge list to pick from ranging in price from £5 to a few thousand (holiday,,). There were often c.20 potential gifts on the list so I still wouldn't know what I was getting.

This year I got an Ancestry subscription that we can both use.

Franklyyes · 27/12/2017 08:12

Rudolph - Don't think gig/festival tickets are a bad gift. Bought OH two lots - 0ne I would like to go to (and he's always wanted to see them) other I'm not fussed. But also good excuses to go away for a few days on both occasions.
OH isn't good at pressies so I do tell him what I want, and then he'll get some Spa vouchers on top as he knows I love facials/massages.
Not a great fan of work Secret Santa as generally end up with some tat ... appreciate some aren't good at gifts but I love thinking of something different which they'll love.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 27/12/2017 08:53

My DP has tried but always gets it wrong, it’s usually a last minute purchase, or he just throws money at it (wastes money on something). Been together a long time. I just say what I’d like now (with links and details) and he just gets it. Saves the disappointment.

latebreakfast · 27/12/2017 08:56

After some very expensive disasters in the early years, we had the honesty to admit to each other that neither of us were mind readers, nor did we want to be on-edge all the time we were shopping together in case "I like that" got taken as "I would like that". (I once said I really liked chickens, and you might guess what happened...)

So now we each make a (very very long) list of things that we'd really like and send to each other early November. Then on Christmas day we each have a heap of things to open that we definitely want, with no pressure on either side to guess exactly the right gift.

Now I'm delighted to have lots of things that I'd never ever have justified buying for myself GinWine Xmas Smile.

derxa · 27/12/2017 09:00

This year I needed a watch. DH and I went into the jewellers. I pointed out the watch, he bought it. DH wanted an internet radio. We went online and then I bought the right one. We don't like surprises!

bsbabas · 27/12/2017 09:06

It's not babying it's loving and caring for someone. Mil cutting partners hair when he's over for Christmas is babying.

bsbabas · 27/12/2017 09:08

Omg sorry phone is broken that last post made noo sense apologizes