We are getting separate bedrooms, and I’m delighted.

[Funclesmuck]

So me and DH are giving ourselves the best Christmas present we can for each other. A bedroom each. We have been married for many years (decades) have a healthy sex life and love each other dearly. But, we are totally incompatable sleep wise. I go to bed early but wake up in the night and need to turn on the tv or read for about an hour before I drop off again. He comes to bed late then likes absolute silence whilst he snores himself himself into a coma for six hours. so we redecorated the spare room, bought a lovely new bed and have had a lovely few weeks sleep. My AIBU is we have MIL & FIL staying for xmas, MIL commented on how nice the spare room is now. So I told her it’s now my room, she is horrified!! Apparently my marriage is now dead in the water and her son will be looking for a new wife ASAP! She’s being silly isn’t she? Or am I being unreasonable wanting a good nights sleep?

It should say we have separate bedrooms, it’s a done deal!

Sounds great, sleep is v important. However telling MIL was a mistake.

it works for you, its fine!

Tell her you role play at Downton Abbey and your DP is the naughty butler visiting her ladyship in her chambers...that'll shut her up lol

I would absolutely love my own room. It sounds blissful! I love DP but he sleeps like a walrus.
If it's working for you guys that's all that matters. She sounds a bit hysterical.

Me and my dh have seperate bedrooms.

It's brill! I sleep so much better now

Take no notice. I would love seperate bedrooms and my marriage is nearly 30 yrs old and v happy like yours. She is talking rubbish !

My parents sleep in separate rooms and they love it. It's nobody's business what you do!

Yanbu for having separate bedrooms. But YABU to tell your mil. Foolish move...
If she goes on about it, maybe ask if she really wants to hear all about your active sex life?

I love my bedroom. It’s decorated to my taste, no man smell and is like a giant hug when I go to bed. It really hasn’t damaged my marriage at all.

Maybe your mil is just jealous

Bliss! Agree-telling mil was a mistake-I wouldn't want to have to justify it by telling mil our sex life was healthy tho!

Ah well, Id say enjoy but also make sure you're not stuck with the presumably lesser spare room forever & take turns with the main room if it's better!

Thanks I knew I was right! She only knows because she is staying in “my” room as we have a house full. I’m back in with DH. I can’t belive how quickly I got used to my own room!

We have separate bedrooms and I absolutely love it like you my husband snores horrendously and I have real problems sleeping.

I'm really looking forward to the time when I actually get my bed to myself as I usually wake up and there is an assortment of children here who have migrated during the night.

Also,my room IMHO is far superior!

I love sleeping in the spare room. I’m slowly chucking books out, so it’s less cluttered. I’m working on the less furniture too.

I sleep so much better.

It’s no ones business but you and your dhs. My mil sleeps separately to sfil, as she snores, but gets our set up.

Your mil belongs in the 19th century. Dead in the water, no I’m getting sleep, stupid woman!

Separate houses is even better!

My parents rarely shared a bed when I was growing up. My mom has terrible insomnia so is up virtually every night so ide normally find her asleep on the sofa.
The day i moved out she moved into my room and claimed it as hers and they've been married 40 years so hasn't done them any harm.

YANBU

There’s a big difference between having separate rooms because you can’t stand each other and having separate rooms so you both get a good nights sleep and can enjoy your time together.

As long as you and DH are happy then it’s no one else’s business!

I have separate bedroom envy.

Dh & his dog sound like they are in a snoring competition and wake me regularly most nights.

All for separate bedrooms, me & dp have seperate bedrooms if no one is staying. Love, love, love it - room to spread out and get a damn good sleep.

We are coming up to our 3yr anniversary April 2018.

YABU my parents have done this for years

My mum uses a CPAP mask and shouts in her sleep. Apparently she sounds like darth Vader with the CPAP. Neither of them got much sleep which made them both irritable and resent each other. Their marriage improved once they started sleeping separately

*YANBU

This is the first thing I'm doing when the kids leave home. Only if DH is a very good boy will he be invited into my bedroom.

Can't wait!

Im very jealous and we've only been together 16 years!

@funclesmuck

YANBU

I don't understand where the idea of sharing a bed ever came from. It is so hard to share a bed with someone long term. There's the coughing, the snoring, the farting, the quilt hogging, the kicking, the snoring, the jabbing in the ribs, the sniffing, the muttering, the grunting, the snoring, the differences in body heat.

Did I mention the snoring?

Everyone needs good sleep. So why the HELL do people choose to share a BED?

Everyone should have separate rooms IMO!

Weirdly, many older people I know (born before 1950,) think it's' wrong' for a husband and wife to sleep separately. Fuck that.

My nan shared a bed with my grandpa for 50 years, until he died, and he snored and grunted and farted like a navvy. She complained all the time about him, and said his snoring was dreadful some nights, and he often disturbed her sleep. Yet, despite having 2 spare bedrooms for 30 years, she continued to sleep in the same bed as him.

WEIRD.

Your MIL is a silly moo OP! Old school/old fashioned, and very WRONG! Women now do what is best for them, and what is right for them and their health, not what society expects of them. I know a fuck load of women who have a separate bedroom to their husband. And they have great marriages. (And great sleep!)

It's lovely being able to go to bed and sit and read for half hour, and then snuggle down in your own bed, with the window open coz you're hot! And no snoring, grunting, or farting! (Only your own hahaha! )

As you can probably tell, I have a separate bedroom to my husband. Have done for for about a decade (since we were in our mid 30's!)