We are getting separate bedrooms, and I’m delighted.

[Funclesmuck]

So me and DH are giving ourselves the best Christmas present we can for each other. A bedroom each. We have been married for many years (decades) have a healthy sex life and love each other dearly. But, we are totally incompatable sleep wise. I go to bed early but wake up in the night and need to turn on the tv or read for about an hour before I drop off again. He comes to bed late then likes absolute silence whilst he snores himself himself into a coma for six hours. so we redecorated the spare room, bought a lovely new bed and have had a lovely few weeks sleep. My AIBU is we have MIL & FIL staying for xmas, MIL commented on how nice the spare room is now. So I told her it’s now my room, she is horrified!! Apparently my marriage is now dead in the water and her son will be looking for a new wife ASAP! She’s being silly isn’t she? Or am I being unreasonable wanting a good nights sleep?

My husband and I have two beds in our room because I hate sharing a bed with him. I love love love him but I hate sleeping with him. If we had enough room I’d love my own room! It would be amazing, I’m massively jealous x

Oh yes, separate bedrooms are great! DH loves a huge winter quilt, I like a sheet and blanket, we have different sleep/wakeup times generally so it's lovely. The importance of proper sleep should not be underestimated!

I am actually quite disturbed and a little saddened to read quite a few posts on here from women who say they don't have separate bedrooms, because their husband won't hear of it!

WTF? Why do his wishes trump yours?!

It's also weird that many women get very hot when their men are cold. Wonder why this is? I mean even women who are not menopausal?

And why do people make cunty comments like 'my marriage is stronger than yours because I share a bed with my husband?' Fucking stupid comment. Not aimed at anyone on here, but at the people a few posters were talking about.

It seems like a very old fashioned and staid view to insist it's 'wrong' for couples to sleep separately. And as I said earlier, I have no idea whose idea it was to begin with. Must have been a mans idea for sure.

No op, I totally get it!

We have a slightly similar situation. We share a room and a bed but we have a spare room with a single bed so that if I can't sleep or vice verse we get out of bed and get in the spare room. I'm the same as you and wake at 3 or 4 in the morning most nights and can't get back to sleep so have to read. Also dh is a bit of a snorer.

It hasn't affected our relationship one bit in fact on the contrary.

However I also told my mum who thought it was a very bizarre arrangement and was very likely to end in a nasty divorce 🙄

We have separate rooms. I love it.

He snores like crazy and I am an insomniac. He is on heavy medication so waking him up to stop him snoring is a nightmare.

He always comes into my room to start with and we talk a bit or whatever then he goes to his room.

I remember a shocked worried face from a colleague when I mentioned it without thinking. Yes, we have sex and our marriage is great.

I moved out of our shared bedroom about 6 years ago. Dh and are are on totally different timetables. He has insomnia and would wake at stupid o clock in the night/morning but would start pissing about with the tv/laptop/iPad/phone and be up and down for the toilet (En-suite next to my side of bed) I need silence and dark!

Then when he did sleep the snoring would drive me insane. I seemed to spend most of the time on the sofa, I just wanted a full nights sleep in a proper bed!

He hated it at first as he thought I was rejecting him and made a big deal of it. So I told him I would come back in for one night and if he woke me once with all the fart arsing around then there was no going back. He woke at stupid o clock and realised he couldn't do his usual faffing so just lay there for a couple of hours staring into space before going downstairs.

He was in full agreement after that!!

It works well and people are quite surprised when they find out but most people when they think about it realise it's quite a good idea as it's only the sleeping part that is different doesn't affect any time together.

Yes olive I was one of the posters who said about my girlfriend and her husband with that sort of view. She is really really nocturnal and survives on about 5 hours a night and her DH sleeps and sleeps and snores and snores. However, her DH won't let her sleep anywhere else because it's the sign of a bad marriage!

But, they do have what I would call a very victorian marriage and she can't do anything without asking him so it's no surprise. Considering we've been sleeping in seperate rooms for probably 12 years I think I've disproved her theory!

Tell her you role play at Downton Abbey and your DP is the naughty butler visiting her ladyship in her chambers...that'll shut her up lol

I just choked on my cereal LOL