We are getting separate bedrooms, and I’m delighted.

[Funclesmuck]

So me and DH are giving ourselves the best Christmas present we can for each other. A bedroom each. We have been married for many years (decades) have a healthy sex life and love each other dearly. But, we are totally incompatable sleep wise. I go to bed early but wake up in the night and need to turn on the tv or read for about an hour before I drop off again. He comes to bed late then likes absolute silence whilst he snores himself himself into a coma for six hours. so we redecorated the spare room, bought a lovely new bed and have had a lovely few weeks sleep. My AIBU is we have MIL & FIL staying for xmas, MIL commented on how nice the spare room is now. So I told her it’s now my room, she is horrified!! Apparently my marriage is now dead in the water and her son will be looking for a new wife ASAP! She’s being silly isn’t she? Or am I being unreasonable wanting a good nights sleep?

My parents have had separate rooms for about forty years now and it’s worked perfectly. He snores and needs heat, she is a light sleeper with a thin duvet.

I sleep in another room to my DH as he snores so loudly. We have a lot of sex so it’s not affected that and I cuddle him before I go to sleep and on the weekends in the morning as well. We’re happy and happier than we would be if I wasn’t sleeping 😁

Me too. Insomnia causes us problems so own rooms. Bliss.

Your MIL is probably jealous. Either ignore, or tell her you recommend it, and that you not only both feel better but your sex life has improved.

After 30 long long years I would gnaw off my arm to get my own room. Fuck the mother in law.

We have separate bedrooms - although occasionally I'll sleep in his - depends whether he's having a noisy night. If he is I just migrate to my own. He never sleeps in my bedroom - all his cpap machine stuff is set up in his and he can't sleep without it.
I wouldn't dream of telling mil though. She'd be scandalised.
To be honest, quite a few people think we must have had a row or fallen out so I don't often mention it. We both sleep much better now, so we don't see a problem.

P.S. We've been married over 25 years and only had separate rooms for the last couple. Bliss.

So it all boils down to the perceived lack of sex. Ho hum. No it doesn't

That is never going to be a problem if you get the urge. Then stay together or move out to other room if the snoring or whatever gets too bad afterwards. Come on, everyone just turns over and sleeps if they can with a snorer after DTD.

We have lived like this for years. Morning cuddles with a nice cup of tea beforehand is the business. Believe me it is very nice.

I am very very envious. I've already thought about having my daughter's room when she moves out. She's only 13 . Alternatively, I have settled for earplugs and white noise.

If it works for you....

I don't know why it's so often assumed that couples have the same sleep habits. We don't have separate bedrooms but I very often migrate to the nice comfortable spare room if I can't. sleep (often) and want the radio on, or to read a book rather than the kindle. Dh can't tolerate noise or any but a very subdued light at night. I often want the window open a lot wider than he does, too.

On similar tack I've been seriously irritated in the odd hotel room where they have those bloody awful bedside lights that are fixed to the wall, are too bright anyway, and don't operate separately, so it's impossible for one person to read when the other wants to sleep. Cue a polite-ish sort of moan at reception more than once.

Your MIL would love it, if she tried it ! 😂
Best of both worlds, good sex, wonderful, peaceful sleep Zzzzzz ... 😄

Good on you! I remember my DM and DF being mortified when they let slip that they'd got rid of the double bed and bought single beds - this wasn't even single bedrooms but they made this big announcement with it like it was some sort of terrible thing, my DF slept under a sheet and snored a lot and my DM liked a big thick quilt, don't know why they stayed in the same bedroom.

Me and DH have been in seperate bedrooms for the last 10 yrs of over 30 years together, best thing ever. His snoring is incredible and he gets up to go to the bathroom about 5 times a night. I'm an incredibly light sleeper and it jst makes me very very bad tempered. Strangely enough it doesn't bother me on holiday, but at home... oh god yes.

My GF and her DH are in same room and he says it's the sign of the end of a marriage if you sleep in seperate rooms. he's quite controlling She barely gets an ounce of sleep ... what's the bloody point of that.

Dh is currently lying beside me snoring like a trouper-meaning I can’t sleep. Having my own room sounds bliss. (Maybe once the children start leaving home-so a possibility in 10 years or soon enough we have a spare bed)

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I do understand the hotel thing. And it will apply to holidays also.

I have a silk black eyemask that blocks out any light, and earphones for listening to audible or podcasts.

Then when snoring becomes intolerable in go the earplugs.

Whatever it takes.

It was unfortunate that you told her, the older generation is pretty much guaranteed to think it odd.

I just get up at silly o’clock and go into the spare room when the DH snores. Simple.

We've had separate bedrooms for 15 of our 20 years together.

Perfectly healthy happy marriage, I actually think in some ways the separate bedroom thing is the key!!!

Funny that any stately home or castle I have visited lately had separate rooms for the husband and wife. They also had lots of children, so it must work out somehow. Before contraception though let it be said.

There was one place I visited where the husbands bedroom was on the right, the wifes was on the left but a big corridoor between both bedrooms. The carpet was faded and worn out between both rooms, that made me smile a lot!

Separate bedrooms sounds like heaven.

I'd love my own room. Not just so I didn't have to listen to DH snoring, or have the type of mattress I like, or so I could sleep with the windows open year round... but I went from sharing a room with my little sister to sharing a room/bed with DH. I just want my own private sanctuary!

I like the set up they have on The Crown. Bedroom each, wide open doorways onto the dressing area, beds facing one another at either end.

Id love separate bedrooms.

Sounds good to me. I have my own room and our marriage hasn't been better. He is a comatose snore all night like a pig type sleeper and I need absolute silence to nod off. I also have IBS and sometimes I'm in and out of the bathroom all night and apart from needing my own space I want to make sure that I don't disturb DH who has to get up early for work. Your mother in law is talking tosh if she thinks that the way to a good marriage is to sleep in the same bed. And bizarre that she thinks same bed = happy marriage. Does she not know that bonking doesn't actually have to take place in the maritial bedroom - riduculous woman.

I def wouldn’t have told the MIL. She doesn’t need to know.

I'm currently wide awake listening to DH snore. I'd give anything for separate bedrooms! We don't have a spare room though. I've not slept properly in 15 years.

I’d love my own room.
DH has got the hump tonight and has fucked off to sleep on the sofa, so I’m halfway there

I'd love my own room!!