Every god damn year!!!

[WarwickDavisAsPlates]

Came home today to find another Christmas card through the letter box addressed to Mr and Mrs J Smith, that's the third this year that has been addressed this way.

I didn't change my name when I got married and I don't go by Mrs. Why can't people (in laws) just get my bloody name right! It's not hard to address the envelope to John and Sarah is it?

I would never address a Christmas card to Shaun when their name is Sean, I'd make sure I'd got it right before posting. So AIBU to think this is just bloody rude and to tell the many offenders to get my name right in future or just don't include me in the card at all?

She totally is an ungrateful nightmare! Imagine both wanting her own name and to have it written to her on a card! Cheeky thing, but then as President L. Zittens pointed out above, she is 'obsessive' and 'self-indulgent' so what can you expect, really?

PS I totally agree with you, equality is meaningless.

PPS it's you're not your.

Yeah, but you'd be grateful for it anyway, wouldn't you, Lonierca, after all it's the thought that counts.

OMG. Some liberal/leftie so called friends of mine had the temerity to send us a card calling us Mr & Mrs Husband's initial Husband's Surname. The bastards even included a separate card showing a charity donation in my dd's name instead of a present.
Thoughtless reactionary swine.
... must arrange a meet up in January

Ah, Loulou, thank you for pointing it out to us that people all over the world are dealing with illness and loss and therefore women, who are also dealing with illnesses and losses of their own, should SHUT UP AND BE GRATEFUL that someone even vaguely acknowledged their existence!

So grateful that you made this your first post on MN. Or is this really just a name change so no one can see how much stuff you have moaned about on here that might well be deemed "meaningless" by others?

Yeah, but it's okay, because now you can reassure them when you do meet up in Jan that you love being called that. After all, he chose you, he married you, it was super romantic and had nothing to do with a medieval tradition symbolising his greater importance in life and ownership of you. And anyway, your name was only your dad's name anyway, because you don't really have a name. Ignore the haterz, your name your rulez, hun.

It's called a reality check.
You know ..actually problems to worry about not a name on a Christmas card.

•Mared - do you send cards to distant relatives and friends of your parents?• Yes, why wouldn't I? We're a small family, spread out across the world, it's a way of keeping at least some family contact going. Friends of my parents were part of my childhood, and I care about them and they about me. The annual update is important to both of us.

Oh ok so next time someone is disrespectful or rude to you you plan on just standing there cos they might be having a harder time than you?

I didn't change my name. It's a little annoying that people assume I did / forget that I didn't. But the worst one is mr & Mrs DHinitial DHsurname I get this from friends in their 30s! So weird.

What made me smile though is when I sent an enquiry to a private school for dd and they kept writing to us as mr & Mrs myinitial mysurname. I informed DH that he is now Mr myinitial mysurname

Soneone wrote Louise on a Christmas card instead of Lou....I spent a whole week mulling over if that woman thought I wasn't a very important citizen ...
Not!

The person sending the card probably had lots to write out and wrote it in a split second not assuming it would turn into a womens right discussion !

I know! FFS, who cares about having an independent identity! Anyway, the subject of women's decisions to be independent and make their own choices have literally never caused any problems at any time in the world ever so just shut up all you boring feminists.

Anyway, all the battles of equality have been won now. AND choosing what you should be called for yourself is really, really trivial in a world where no one cares about names anyway and doesn't spend ages picking them out or their kids on the baby name thread anyway. If I were them I'd have gone further and just called you Offred.

Here that women

It's a women's rights issue..

Shall we march for the right to our own name?

Should I get this post audited by my dp befire I hit post?

Can i go out by myself later?

God lou i hope you wrote right back to them and said 'my husbands name is ARTHUR actually, now get it right and call me by it! Cheeky mare, she was.

Listen, Giles, all I can say is you clearly weren't very well-brought-up. Check in with Sister Bittens upthread, she'll soon cure you of your trivial self-obsessions.

"The person sending the card probably had lots to write out and wrote it in a split second not assuming it would turn into a womens right discussion !"

QED.

Think I'm gonna address all my cards (to the serial offenders) as mr and Mrs DWinitial DWsurname next year, and see how the men like feeling erased.

DH and I have just had delivered a card addressed to Mr and Mrs . So we now both feel disrespected, and will both completely cease any further communication with this long-time friend of ours.

Loulou, three posts from you on this "meaningless" topic of women objecting to being deliberately called by the wrong name - just relax and GET REAL, don't you know no cares about your opinion?

Interesting that two of these posts have been about someone addressing you by the wrong name. You noticed it, you've remembered it, you've mentioned it twice... but don't forget it's totally meaningless.

Oh my bad

I'm just going to wash up then ice my cupcakes then h abe a cup of tea and watch my soaps til the man of the house cones back

It's ok if he calls our another woman's name in bed too right?

I mean I should just he grateful he's talking to me at all. We are just women. all the same. We don't need defining by something like a name

If you've specifically told someone how you wish to be addressed, then yes, it's rude of them to deliberately ignore your feelings.

But if they've tried to be polite on the basis of what they were brought up with, then it's quite unpleasant to treat them as if they were setting out to be rude.

That's not the same as saying that you have to put up with it. No harm in correcting them in a gracious manner.

Don't worry if he call's another woman's name out hun, because it doesn't really matter what name he or anyone else gives you (although, does she really even HAVE a name? Will he be calling, 'Oh, OH, MRS NIGEL CARTRIGHT' or similar?)

It's you he chose, hun, it's you he chose to give his name to, it's him your dad gave you to. It's romantic, after all.

Jesus wept!
Tear it up and put it in the fire then!
At least someone has taken the time to write a card for you OP!

Well no they didn't actually did they.

Exactly! Who cares if they don't actually write it TO you! It's to who they THINK YOU SHOULD BE, which actually, if you think on it, is almost EVEN BETTER! Jeez, ungrateful much?