CF husband. Can you beat this?

[MatildaTheCat]

DH has an inbuilt distrust of internet shopping so when I placed my Ocado Christmas order he became very agitated and insisted that all the fresh vegetables be removed as he wished to choose them himself.

OK, I say. If you wish to visit the supermarket on the busiest day of the year to buy exactly the same items that would have been carried straight into our kitchen then who am into argue? Vegetables were removed.

This morning, on his way to the gym he suggested I might like to go to Waitrose this evening to purchase the Christmas fucking vegetables whilst he enjoys a drink at the pub. After he’s finished playing golf.

I have explained in good Anglo Saxon English that this will not be happening. Oh, and it’s his family coming, not mine.

AIBU to suggest he is the CF of the day?

I did mine at 11pm last night once all the queues had gone. One of the staff told me people had been queuing to just get into the car park all afternoon yesterday, I can only imagine today will be worse!!!

PMSL at shaggy!

He might have had a point 20 odd years ago when online grocery shopping first started and supermarkets were well known to use it to offload their manky, squashed, almost on sell by date veg that no one would actually buy in the shop. Got caught out by that myself a few times back then and avoided buying veg online for a few years. They've improved massively in recent years though and the veg is always fine. Which he would know if he paid any attention to the grocery shop the rest of the year!

Hope he enjoys his trip.

Watch him now go and find somewhere that is quiet and well stocked and be all hail the conquering hero on his return

I went to Sainsbury's at about 10ish to get veg and a couple of bits. It was quieter than a usual Saturday and there was loads of everything.

Best Christmas song ever and I dedicate it to my Champion CFDH and all the other CFs of 2017.

I’ve just come back from town and it was quieter than a usual Saturday.

As for him just sitting there I don’t know how you aren’t going insane op. It chaps my arse when DH sits there doing nothing when the dishwasher needs to go on (which is his job but I like to unload it before I go to bed. If it doesn’t get put on early enough then I have to wait up)

I'm still trying to work out what Shaggy was an autocorrect for!

I'm trying to think of which obscure veg or fresh herbs will be hardest to find.
Waitrose have started selling white aubergines. Can you think of way to make them essential?
Also Thai basil. Not ordinary basil.

Artichoke. Never seen them in tescos here 😁

I'd reckon sage and parsley will be sold out by now so add them.

Never have I ever been so invested in someone else's vegetables.

Some sort of obscure and fancy mushrooms

Bok choi.
Not Pak choi

Kohlrabi. I’d never heard of it until I had to text my mother when in Germany to find out what the English for Kohlrabi was.
I’m still not sure what it is. My local ‘exotic’ veg shop sell them.

Had he set off yet?

Shiitake mushrooms

Quinces - very festive

Sorry but am shamelessly following to see how he gets on!!

Just waiting for your update OP and to see what he actually ends up coming home with!

Funniest thread thanks OP

Shamelessly placemarking 😁

Soooooo did he brace the supermarket?

Dying to know if he located the bok choi, the kohlrabi and the quinces?

I've just popped into my local Sainsbug's.

They've given up trying to stack the shelves and have left crates of fruit and veg stacked 5 high in the main foyer.

Whole shelves have been cleared.

Well, he went. I added sellotape, dill and a few other random items. I also forgot to give him my Waitrose card so he was unable to use the self scanner. This was a genuine forgot, I’m not a total bitch.

So I went for a coffee with my friend and realised I had two missed calls which were him asking to be excused from the baking tins and pastry cutters. I sternly refused and referred him to the small department store occross the road. I did accept that I could buy the sellotape since I was next door to a stationery shop.

He returned with a face like a slapped arse and more food than we can eat. Ever. He did manage to locate the baking tins etc. In Waitrose, which begs the question did he even look before calling me?

He also bought 3 boxes of mince pies

Why? Why? Why? There is no answer to this I fear. It is simply a fact that my DH is not only a CF but a foolish one at that.

So, in short, we have Christmas Vegetables. He has had a poor quality afternoon and I have not. He is off to play golf again tomorrow. CF.

Merry Christmas

Cheeky bastard. Hope you told him where he can shove the parsnips lol.