CF husband. Can you beat this?

[MatildaTheCat]

DH has an inbuilt distrust of internet shopping so when I placed my Ocado Christmas order he became very agitated and insisted that all the fresh vegetables be removed as he wished to choose them himself.

OK, I say. If you wish to visit the supermarket on the busiest day of the year to buy exactly the same items that would have been carried straight into our kitchen then who am into argue? Vegetables were removed.

This morning, on his way to the gym he suggested I might like to go to Waitrose this evening to purchase the Christmas fucking vegetables whilst he enjoys a drink at the pub. After he’s finished playing golf.

I have explained in good Anglo Saxon English that this will not be happening. Oh, and it’s his family coming, not mine.

AIBU to suggest he is the CF of the day?

Why is everyone hysterically buying veg on friday when Christmas day isn't until monday?

Ha ha. I agree find a marrow or large squash to insert about his person!

I am in a similar situation, I did the Ocado order months ago and had to update for the last time last night. All dh had to do was check the alcohol we had in the house to see if I need to top up the order. I'd do it myself but his parents have preferences are fussy. He came to bed at midnight and told me we were out of HIS favourite beer. Too late. No idea about whether we had enough suitable booze for his family. So he will be out Xmas Eve buying alcohol with the children while I tidy the house put my feet up.

dh has just done similar. dil and fill's partner are coming to ours tomorrow morning to see ds. dh has said for weeks he's got their gifts sorted.

i was in town this morning and specifically asked him whether he needed me to get anything. nope he says.

i've just got home and he's just said he'll be finishing work at 330 and heading out for a drink - can he have a lift at 430. no problem with this - ds and I will probably go and meet him in the pub at around 4.

hes also suggested that after we leave the pub we can do some christmas shopping for fil....

FFS! NO! GO ON YOUR OWN!

I don’t think everyone is.... some of the DHs may get mildly hysterical at the prospect of doing some wifework...

it has just taken three quarters of an hour to get out of sainburys car park he wouldn't want to go shopping but send him anyway he won't want to go again

Please say I’m not the only one who is going to take a perverse delight when he comes back exclaiming what utter hell the supermarket was.
Don’t buy anything yourself op.

I know where I'd be stuffing his parsnips this year!!

Fucking golf? Hahahahahaha!

I hope he gets his foot run over in Tesco.

Sorry to drip feed but he also asked me this morning to pay his parking ticket, which was about to double in cost, because he was too busy.

I did do that but for the avoidance of all doubt I am very, very definitely NOT going to buy the festive fucking vegetables.

Breakfast - is this your first Christmas doing the hosting or you've never hosted by any chance? The supermarkets will be RAMMED low on stock (expensive stuff plenty of mind ) and filled with irritable people wishing they'd done it earlier or ordered online.

THAT is why.

I ordered online but unfortunately the carrot thing I ordered for Xmas dinner is out of date tomorrow (delivered yesterday) so I will be one of those braving the chaos despite planning otherwise. Thankfully all other components sorted.

Mines pissed me off by missing yesterdays deadline for signing our divorce papers. Now I have to get them served directly to him. CF indeed

Because the shops will be bare of veg by 6om on Saturday - everything left will be crap, or at least that's how it works round here.

I have to say I take the path of least resistance with fuckery like this. "oh if you're sure love" I say, clicking away as if I'm really removing the veg. "you'll need to go by (an hour before the shop arrives)"

DH goes nowhere, shop arrives "Good job you didn't set off wasn't it!"

DH glares, I smile beatifically, no one goes to tesco. The last time we danced this dance was two years ago involving an argument over beef for roasting and it has not been repeated.

YANBU!

Dh tried this stunt with me this week regarding a present I said dd would like and I could buy on amazon. A month ago. Not good enough, he wanted to choose said boombox. He would go to the shop. I reminded him about it 3 times over the last couple of weeks. He went this Wednesday, found they didn’t have stock in the curry’s he was at but apparently had stock at the other one. He rang me and suggested I reserved it online and picked it up. No. Not happening. So he drove to the other curry’s, the queue was massive (big surprise there eh dh, who never goes shopping). Consequently he had to abort the mission to pick dd up from a party. He was big Mr GrumpyDragon for 24 hours and ended in a big row. My fault obvs. I’d pestered him about sorting it out and even sent pictures to him of two available in curry’s. Big cf there.

I just have to walk 10ft from the house to get the veg but did have a rant at dh because he wanted me to go into aldi to pick up flowers.
I was at work, dealing with an accident and reports etc on my own...

Breakfast - is this your first Christmas doing the hosting or you've never hosted by any chance? The supermarkets will be RAMMED low on stock (expensive stuff plenty of mind wink) and filled with irritable people wishing they'd done it earlier or ordered online

Nope, I frequently do Xmas dinner for 8 to 12 people.
Normally buy my veg early Christmas eve.
Never had a problem

Yes, he is a cheeky fucker.

He said that HE wanted to personally select the vegetables close to the time, so take him at his word there and ensure that HE actually does it.

I would have agreed to remove them and then kept them on the delivery because I just know that this is the kind of shit my DH would pull on me.

I really want to go to the shops to buy bad hangover food but I cannot be fucked with the four million Waitrose wankers panic buying bread for the one day the shop is closed 😩

Buy the vegetables and ram them up his arse.

Obviously NRT, I bet this as been suggested x 1000

Do no veg, who is gonna care?

Blimey there's some CF dhs out there.

My dh will clean and cook dinner. He doesn't have to cook as I'm working 12 hour shift Christmas day. Get fed all the trimmings. Dcs are going to dad's. Dh will take them and probably spend a bit if time there. We all get on. Dh will watch crap on Quest and enjoy a chill. Boxing day we're going for an Indian buffet.

My dh would clean and cook but doesn't have to*

Read this with some amusement. Last year I bought all the veg on Christmas Day, from the small shop at the end of he street run by a Turkish family.

I've found from experience that online shops frequently miss out some crucial ingredient so end up going out on Chrisrmas eve anyway

My dh has the list all ready and we are going this afternoon to face sainsburys. He will cook Christmas Day. I will drink.

Your dh is a cheeky fucker

What is it with CF DHs wanting to get involved in the Christmas food shopping??

51 weeks a year we get an Ocado delivery and it is fine and everyone is well-fed. At Christmas, DH declares it is 'too much of a risk' and we MUST go to buy the food in person. I think he's barking mad, but reluctantly agree, to keep the peace.
So we arrived at Sainsbury this morning, and of course it was chaos. We had our Christmas list, but I was also adding 'weekly shop' things we needed like milk, bread, washing up liquid etc.
DH went mad! Said it was 'too confusing' to mix the 'Christmas food' and the other stuff . Also he goes a bit beserk in a supermarket and starts buying all these weird foodstuffs which he remembers from his childhood (think Paxo, jellied fruits, weird mixer drinks). I know it will all be untouched and be thrown out in about March.

He is a pretty good contender for CF DH of the Year!

Please update once he has actually been to the supermarket...