I think im doing this more for myself to get things off my chest so apologies if its long.
I cannot say which of these days were the worst, but my whole life has been pretty bad.
When i was 4, my DF was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and in the same year had a major motorbike accident. He ended up being resuscitated, in a coma for 5 weeks with a broken neck, spinal injuries, brain and head injuries, when he woke he had no memory and had no idea he even had kids let alone what they looked like. During this time i taught my 2yo brother how to dress himself, feed himself properly, go to the toilet etc..
My only memory of this time is my DF laying on a metal bed surrounded by metal boxes. I described a morgue. This never happened though.
I grew up with heroin using parents. No money, no food, no warm, but love and a roof over my head. I was severly bullied, i have nasty scars from self harming during high school. At 14 i overdosed from too many drugs at my own birthday party and my DM had to resuscitate me. I spent the next 2 years partying, taking drugs, drinking, having sex. My life was a mess.
Social services were involved but nothing ever really happened. Over those 2 years i was sexually assaulted, emotionally and physically abused and also tormented by my own depression. I moved out at 17, became homless and went into the YMCA. Slowly i got my life back on track.
I am now 19 years old, i have my own flat with my DP, we have a 12 month old boy (i suffered with severe hyperemesis during pregnancy and both me and baby nearly died, ended up hospitalized for 7 weeks), i go to college and am training to be a teaching assistant. By age 19 i had been to 9 funerals. 1 good friend (died at 16). 2 family friends. 1 cousin. 1 grandad. Now in the last 2 years, i lost my DPs mum, my nan, my dad (just as i had got back in contact with him) and my DPs grandad. I looked after a few of these close people before they passed, i saw them on the day it happened, i saw their bodies after itd happened. I went and saw my dads body 2 weeks after he had passed.
Just less than a week ago my little brother (now 16) was spiked with fentynol whilst smoking a spliff. He had to be resuscitated and had died for 5 minutes. He is now fine but is unbelievably lucky not to have brain damage etc.
Im certain i have missed quite a lot out and of course i have good memories, just not many of them.