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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what the worst experience of your life Is??

269 replies

K1092902 · 22/12/2017 01:02

Having a fucking awful time right now- just one thing after another. Please someone help me put things in perspective

OP posts:
punter · 22/12/2017 09:35

A phone call from DF 2 weeks after our son, first grandchild, born by emergency CS, telling us that my DB aged 19 had been killed in car crash. Family never been the same since. Very difficult bonding issues with DS.

PizzaPower · 22/12/2017 09:39

Thanks Rebeccaslicker, I’m just happy to have got another Christmas in.

WeatherDependent · 22/12/2017 09:40

This is such a sad thread, thinking of everyone who has had horrendous times Thanks

It makes you realise you just don't know everyone's 'story' and it makes us what we are x

blackteasplease · 22/12/2017 09:42

I'm going through mine. still living with ea ex H while finances are sorted.

ratheroverwhelmed · 22/12/2017 09:43

The day I was told my baby's heart had stopped beating, then having to have surgery to have my sweet little baby taken from me, and never having the chance to say goodbye or even see my little one.

Then being outcasted by DP's family for struggling to cope with the death of my baby. Expected to get on with it, or not be welcome.
It has torn me apart as I never wanted to cause any trouble - I've never experienced such raw and complicated grief in my life

The PTSD following my loss and then another loss not long afterwards caused by DP telling me he refuses to try for a rainbow baby (I know this is relatively nothing compared to what you have all been through). PTSD is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I feel like I'm living my losses all over again every single time I see a pregnant woman. It's hell and 18 months on it isn't getting much better.

I've been to some very very dark places since.

Flowers to everyone. This thread is heartbreaking.

foolsgold84 · 22/12/2017 09:50

When my first baby nearly died of respiratory problems when born. She lived and is amazing.

When my dad died

When my Aunty commit suicide.

When my mum was going through chemo for ovarian cancer. Mum survived.

ExtraFestiveXmasFairy · 22/12/2017 10:06

Oh pizza. I just want to give you a massive (unMN) hug and tell you how amazing you are. I hope you have the most magical Xmas possible Flowers

TinselTwat · 22/12/2017 10:08

My dad having a succession of DVTs in his leg, being told it might be hereditary, my mum being diagnosed with breast cancer 3 weeks later. Yesterday I found a lump in my leg...

ExtraFestiveXmasFairy · 22/12/2017 10:08

It's threads like this that make me realise how amazing we all are. Not sure if it's helping OP at all but it definitely is reassuring to know that we can and do get through so much.

We're all still plodding on somehow, despite a massive array of sorrowful stories.

tattiehat · 22/12/2017 10:10

My DD arriving 9 weeks early and being told to prepare for the worst as she had many things wrong and most of her organs were affected, this was totally incorrect (I don't think I will ever forgive the Dr for saying this), she did spend 13 weeks in hospital which was the hardest part of my life so far. Thankfully she's a happy healthy 2 and a half year old now and the light of my life.

Watching My DF dying at 66 from lung cancer.

ItMadeMyEyesWater · 22/12/2017 10:10

PizzaPower I am so sorry. Flowers

ExtraFestiveXmasFairy · 22/12/2017 10:11

Losing both my grans within 3 months of each other. My world crumbled. I was with my dad's mum for her last 48 hours. Didn't leave her side. I think a part of me died when she went. Pancreatic cancer, 5 weeks from diagnosis to death. Horrific.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 22/12/2017 10:14

A few things, hard to know which was ‘the worst’ as each one was as it happened. There’s a little bit of my brain that say ‘Well, it can’t get any worse’ But somehow it can & does.

However, reading threads like this also makes me remember that other people have had far worse happen to them and does put things into perspective.

I really hope that people can find support IRL & on here to help them day to day 🌷. MN has its moments and I’m sometimes minded to stop posting because of the trolls & the general change of tone, but there are so many lovely & genuine people here that I stay. It can be an incredibly supportive place.

stressedoutfred · 22/12/2017 10:14

Loads of stuff, my 5 year old being diagnosed with a brain tumour and the subsequent chemotherapy (he’s stable) . My 2 miscarriages. My grandparents dying within 3 weeks of each other.

All horrible stuff, but probably my worst experience ( or the thing that I wish I could change if I could go back - as I can’t change the above) would be the day I got on a plane and had a massive panic attack. That day my life changed, I developed awful anxiety that has plagued me ever since and it makes the way I deal with the stuff above even harder.

I’d give anything to be the person I was before that day

Elsiejane · 22/12/2017 10:15

I think im doing this more for myself to get things off my chest so apologies if its long.
I cannot say which of these days were the worst, but my whole life has been pretty bad.
When i was 4, my DF was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and in the same year had a major motorbike accident. He ended up being resuscitated, in a coma for 5 weeks with a broken neck, spinal injuries, brain and head injuries, when he woke he had no memory and had no idea he even had kids let alone what they looked like. During this time i taught my 2yo brother how to dress himself, feed himself properly, go to the toilet etc..
My only memory of this time is my DF laying on a metal bed surrounded by metal boxes. I described a morgue. This never happened though.
I grew up with heroin using parents. No money, no food, no warm, but love and a roof over my head. I was severly bullied, i have nasty scars from self harming during high school. At 14 i overdosed from too many drugs at my own birthday party and my DM had to resuscitate me. I spent the next 2 years partying, taking drugs, drinking, having sex. My life was a mess.
Social services were involved but nothing ever really happened. Over those 2 years i was sexually assaulted, emotionally and physically abused and also tormented by my own depression. I moved out at 17, became homless and went into the YMCA. Slowly i got my life back on track.
I am now 19 years old, i have my own flat with my DP, we have a 12 month old boy (i suffered with severe hyperemesis during pregnancy and both me and baby nearly died, ended up hospitalized for 7 weeks), i go to college and am training to be a teaching assistant. By age 19 i had been to 9 funerals. 1 good friend (died at 16). 2 family friends. 1 cousin. 1 grandad. Now in the last 2 years, i lost my DPs mum, my nan, my dad (just as i had got back in contact with him) and my DPs grandad. I looked after a few of these close people before they passed, i saw them on the day it happened, i saw their bodies after itd happened. I went and saw my dads body 2 weeks after he had passed.
Just less than a week ago my little brother (now 16) was spiked with fentynol whilst smoking a spliff. He had to be resuscitated and had died for 5 minutes. He is now fine but is unbelievably lucky not to have brain damage etc.
Im certain i have missed quite a lot out and of course i have good memories, just not many of them.

Elsiejane · 22/12/2017 10:18

I also lost a baby before my son was born, it was devastating. I had no idea what to do with myself. Then having to have an abortion after my son was born because i would have suffered hyperemesis again and wouldnt have coped with a 1 year old and college whilst being hospitalized. I had/have the depo injection but that clearly didnt work.

Cantspell2 · 22/12/2017 10:19

Being told my husbands cancer was terminal and the spending 105 days watching him lose all his personal dignity, suffer horrendous pain and then finally die. Telling our sons this was going to happen and watching them as they tried to be strong for not only each other but my husband and I.

bananafish81 · 22/12/2017 10:20

Losing my mum 10 days after finding out her cancer had returned

Being told our baby's heartbeat had gone

Being told by Drs on both sides of the Atlantic that my womb is too damaged to sustain a pregnancy and that we can't have children

Elsiejane · 22/12/2017 10:24

I really wish everyone the best. Sometimes i find its the mental side of things thats much worse and you can be expected to be okay with these things. When im down i think of those people who have it much worse. Those who dont even have safe clean water. We are quite lucky for the little things we do have. I hope you all pull through. Everybody has their own story, their own problems and everybody deals with them differently. I wish you all the best of luck and hope that all these horrid things stop happening.

Blizy · 22/12/2017 10:28

The stillbirth of my dd 7 years ago, currently struggling through yet another miserable Xmas without her.

JacquelineChan · 22/12/2017 10:29

i saw my cousin a month before he died a few months ago. he had cancer , it came on very suddenly and was very aggressive . he was a tiny , walking skeleton. The image will stay with me forever - he was such a big healthy happy man before he got sick.
he left behind an 11 year old daughter , I was thinking about her yesterday and cried all over again.
since that day I have been getting my life in order and my new mantra is try and take your happiness where you can , every single day.

Santaclausiscomingto · 22/12/2017 10:39

OP - I have recently discovered Brene Brown, her videos and books on vulnerability, empathy and more may be of help now or in the future-

m.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

brenebrown.com/videos/

Thinking of you and what amazing strong people that have posted there hurts here.

Santaclausiscomingto · 22/12/2017 10:42

[]https://brenebrown.com/videos/]]

Different topics here and her books are good too.

If you want to talk here then it may help -

Chattycat78 · 22/12/2017 10:46

Shit everyone. I want to cry for you all. FlowersCakeBrewWine

Chattycat78 · 22/12/2017 10:47

Sorry that might look like I’m being funny- I’m not. Its awful how much so mamy people have been through. Life is so awful sometimes xxx