Makeup as gifts

[BadFeminist]

DD is 4.
This year the majority of her Xmas gifts are makeup.

Since starting school DD loves makeup, (and shit American accents and hair flipping) and this is what she has asked for.

She will watch YouTube tutorials on makeup (which I support because it's either that or that god awful Ava Isla and whatever the third one is and I cannot handle their mothers voice without breaking something) and really just wants to play and be "made up" with glittery shit and pink lipstick.

I don't do makeup, I use the same Superdrug eyeliner I've been using for ten years and my one bottle of foundation lasts about two years, so I'm a complete failure as a mother clearly.

Today discussing what the kids are getting in Work one of the wives of a colleague made hell of a face and said "oh god" but when I asked what she meant she just shrugged it off and said "oh nothing, I just think that's not really the done thing" but wouldn't elucidate any further.

Is is THAT big of a deal?

I'm calling bullshit on this one.

C'mon OP, you're having us on aren't you?

Hmmm, interesting thread. I've read all of it but actually think all your responses (which are defensive but do illustrate your involved parenting) don't really change my initial reaction, which is that it's wrong. My 5 year old would not be allowed to watch such videos and though mine is desperate for make up, she has one small Disney set which she uses without a mirror so ends up looking like clown.

If it comes across as defensive it's only because intonation is difficult written, I'm not in any way worked up. The children are at their dads tonight and it's nice to talk about them if I'm honest.

I won't allow that Disney type stuff because it always seems to crumble up and end up wiped on the wall or onto clothes or onto me, and the ones with the waxy stuff make my skin react (yes, she puts makeup on me too)

Really I'm a huge hypocrite, if I were a supportive mother I would allow her every colour and not just ones that won't fuck the furniture up.

We wear blusher basically to make us look fertile. Same reason we wear lipstick and all the other crap. We're attracting mates on a biological level.

It's why adults with any sense have a visceral reaction to young children wearing makeup, because we inherently understand as a species why we use it, and have done for millennia.

You're just being a GF anyway, I doubt you're as dim as you try to make out.

Hahahahaha, you lost me, op, at the comments stated at her age I had two working ferrets, a horse and could shoot a gun!!!

I tell both of my children how important they are, how their opinions matter and that they should always be proud of who they are,

Bit late to this thread, but had to comment on this (nothing new to add re the actual makeup).

This is half the problem behind adult-children, entitled teenagers, bullies and brats.

No OP. Your children aren’t important, other than to their friends and loved ones (that’s a very small number of people relatively). They are no more or less important than my children or the children of anyone else on this forum - or any other child in the world.

Their opinions don’t matter to anyone (apart from friends and loved ones and teachers), until they’ve got to a stage where they have considered, reasoned opinions or when they can legally expect their opinions to matter (eg voting). (Of course, I’m not talking about having green as your favourite colour; I’m talking about “well I don’t think we should go to X National Trust property with cousin Y because they’re annoying” type of opinions).

No, they shouldn’t be proud of who they aren’t unless they actually have something to be proud of: being kind, thoughtful, trying and succeeding, being courageous and brave etc. These are things to be proud of. Just existing in an average family is nothing to be proud of.

*I'm calling bullshit on this one.

C'mon OP, you're having us on aren't you?*

If this is a dramatic post on MN then you all need to get out more. 😂
It's 100% true.

Also, as I said, dd isn't getting much from me because it's dads xmas day and my Boxing Day, so yeah, it IS the majority of her presents.

My son is nearly 9, I've already learned not to fill the house with plastic shit they only play with once, we are not a huge piles of gifts under the tree posted on Facebook kind of family.

It's the same brand I already use as we both have the same condition so I know it's fine. It's just in a different container. I know what ingredients my son's skin is and isn't reactive to

My honest opinion: she is too young to be watching make-up tutorials. I would not allow a four year old to wear make up beyond lipsalve and face paint. I'd be encouraging her not to focus on her appearence. As her mother you are her guide and mentor, it's fine to set boundaries.

I would also limit her exposure to tv shows that feature children applying make up.

Yabu i think you are failing her by encouraging all that at age 4. Seriously what are you thinking😑

I'm a mum of a 4 year old boy and utterly baffled about the YouTube tutorials! You are in charge of what she watches. My son has never watched anything on YouTube, I'm just not on board with all that crap. As for makeup for 4 year old??? Seriously what is going on with the world?

No OP. Your children aren’t important, other than to their friends and loved ones (that’s a very small number of people relatively). They are no more or less important than my children or the children of anyone else on this forum - or any other child in the world.

People used to say that to women once. What a sad, institutionalised way to think.

Their opinions don’t matter to anyone (apart from friends and loved ones and teachers), until they’ve got to a stage where they have considered, reasoned opinions or when they can legally expect their opinions to matter (eg voting). (Of course, I’m not talking about having green as your favourite colour; I’m talking about “well I don’t think we should go to X National Trust property with cousin Y because they’re annoying” type of opinions).

So their opinions DO matter to those in their immediate vicinity? And will matter as they get older and can contribute.
I'd quite like my son to feel like if he felt uncomfortable with something, for example witnessing someone being bullied, he will feel his voice is VERY important.

No, they shouldn’t be proud of who they aren’t unless they actually have something to be proud of: being kind, thoughtful, trying and succeeding, being courageous and brave etc. These are things to be proud of. Just existing in an average family is nothing to be proud of.

Wow, McCains should have shares in that chip on your shoulder there. You'd make a fortune.

And my son is particular is ALL of the above so yeah, he should be fucking proud of himself every single day.

Your original question was “is it that big of a deal?” - as you made it sound like you’d bought half of the boots counter for a FOUR year old that was capable of contouring as she watches so many tutorials then OBVIOUSLY yes it is a big deal!!
Now you’ve down graded it to glitter and lip balm then no. But I wouldn’t personally let her watch this on YouTube. I would just say no. Not sure how much peer pressure a 4 year old is under but I would say pretty minimal (my niece has given us the run down of make up and clothes to wear at secondary school, now that sounds like peer pressure!)

Yabu i think you are failing her by encouraging all that at age 4. Seriously what are you thinking😑

I haven't encouraged it, as I've said previously, I have no interest in makeup. She has developed an interest and when asked what she'd like for Xmas she asked for makeup of her own (because you don't really have anything mummy).
And I watch YouTube with her because I agree it needs to be moderated.

She loves Isla, Ava and Olivia and their dull arsed Mother who just throws toys at them. I don't allow her to watch it because the children show zero manners, are rude and spoilt.
So she found something else she likes.
Makeup tutorials aren't the only thing she watches, but they are there and relevant to this post.

Failing her how? What about her existence is being failed?

My dd is 6 and has a few old eye shadows of mine but how did a 4yo get obsessed?! Why do you let her watch these programmes?

Yabu.

Hmmm I’m wondering if this is a wind up.

our original question was “is it that big of a deal?” - as you made it sound like you’d bought half of the boots counter for a FOUR year old that was capable of contouring as she watches so many tutorials then OBVIOUSLY yes it is a big deal!!
Now you’ve down graded it to glitter and lip balm then no. But I wouldn’t personally let her watch this on YouTube. I would just say no. Not sure how much peer pressure a 4 year old is under but I would say pretty minimal (my niece has given us the run down of make up and clothes to wear at secondary school, now that sounds like peer pressure!)

No I didn't, you're all just dramatic AF. or just buy your kids waaaay too many gifts.

It's like you WANT there to be child abuse. It's weird.

Why do you let her watch these programmes?

Because:

she likes them
I don't think they are harmful
She asks for them politely

Re-reading your first post- do you mean you have had the same eyeliner for 10 years? Because those things have a shelf life on them ....

Did you mean to post this in "IANBU!"

You haven't encouraged it, sure. Your FOUR year old develops her own interests in adult things entirely independently and seeks out youtube tutorials all on her own.

Except that contradicts half the other shit you said.

Try harder OP, you're about as convincing as you were on your other ridiculous thread.

I honestly feel you're all on a wind up yourselves.

See, when I posted this with her age I assumed you'd all kind of know what to expect with a 4 year old, the scene being a smear of glitter somewhere in the facial region and then a "look mummy, it's so glittery and pretty" and then the adult says "looks lovely my love" and then she'll say "mummy let me do yours" and then I'll spend an hour with makeup brushes being poked into my eyes, nose and mouth. We will both acknowledge how glittery we are and then it gets washed off, microfibre cloth, no chemicals.

SOME OF YOU seem to have the vision of a four year old in stilettos and a basque, trotting around with bright red blowjob lips, fake lashes and a man with a cane by her side.
I mean, how anyone can comment on anyone else's parenting on here when this is the general assumption, or as a matter of fact, that because I actually parent my kids and take them outdoors and do stuff with them, I'm deserved of sarcasm and bitch-medals then honestly? That says a whole lot more about your Home lives.

The internet is insane.

Wow back peddling there a bit...

Re-reading your first post- do you mean you have had the same eyeliner for 10 years? Because those things have a shelf life on them ....

Haha no, it's Superdrug own brand. That's what I meant.

To be honest though I don't pay much attention to the shelf life thing because if I did I'd be throwing away a full bottle of everything I have every three months. Like I said, my foundation lasts a year or two, eyeliner a while and I bought the brow stuff in 2013 and it's still half full.

I do wash the one brush I own frequently though.

Wow back peddling there a bit...

Point, quote, comparison there please..?

Erm no OP you stated that your 4yo was getting mainly makeup as Christmas gifts. That's fucking insane. My 17yo DD isn't getting 'mainly' make up and my 9yo DD isn't getting any! (She got some unicorn brushes for her birthday)