To think my sister is being a cheeky fucker?

[Cheekyeffingsister]

We have a family whatsapp group and a few weeks ago we all put lists of present ideas for ourselves/our dcs and everyone said what they would get to avoid duplicates.

Dsis sent hers over, ‘does she think we’re all minted’ says dp whilst looking at her list. Nothing under £75 for her or her dp/DCs. We’re not well off by any means (her present is more than what I’ve spent on my own child) but she had called me and said ‘oh I couldn’t find what you wanted but saw some beautiful things you’ll love while in House of Fraser so got you and dp a £150 voucher towards them’ so based on that I felt I had to get her the pricey presents as couldn’t believe she’d spent so much! (Our presents we sent we’re all under £20)

Now 5 days before Christmas she has sent a message to the group whatsapp ‘Hi guys, just to let you all know we didn’t budget that well for Christmas and Sam asked for an Xbox last minuite so we won’t be doing presents for anyone this year. Hoped to get the kids something but don’t think we’ll have time now. See you Sunday x’

AIBU to think she’s a cheeky fucker? I know I’ll get called grabby and you don’t give to receive etc but to me it seems she’s sent us all pricey things, acting like she’s doing the same then waited until everyone will have bought things to say actually she’s not getting us anything!

I’m more pissed off that she said she’d get one of the things on DDs list and now i can’t find it to arrive before Xmas.

Disclaimer as not to dripfeed - she has form for this kind of thing.

Updating while I can although it’s a boring one - things went far better than expected. Everyone else has given in to her requests and they had mountains of gifts so didn’t notice/mention our lack of. She didn’t even bother with a card for any of us.
No mention of gifts from her but an argument did erupt after dinner over a somewhat unrelated matter but someone mentioned upthread about the Golden child being passed down through generations and it was certainly aparent today! My DP and grandad had an argument as he had completely ignored our DD in favour of my DN’s all day which led to DD asking why he didn’t like her.
Grandad then proceeded not to drink all day despite wanting too just in case Dsis needed a lift home tonight and then announced we won’t be having the planned lunch tomorrow until 5pm as DSis wants to go to the sales and he’s going to watch the kids, despite us having to travel elsewhere by 4pm, he refused to compromise on earlier as not to upset her and cut her shopping time short!
Pretty sick of them all pandering to it, mentioned to my mum about the presents who announced ‘you should be more supportive of her’
I’m bloody 36 weeks pregnant and did all the work along with my Mum and elderly nan while DSis sat on her ass and did fuck all as usual but I darent mention it.
Atleast MN agrees she’s a cheeky cow!
Hope you all had a nice Christmas, sorry it’s not more of an exciting update for you all

How come she can go shopping in the sales yet not afford to buy presents for family??

You know not to bother going next year OP! Can't fucking stand favouritism it's ridiculous 😡

OMG stay home next year - what awfaul family!

Doesn't sound like they'd miss you anyway! Assholes

That would piss me off. Can’t afford even a selection box but can afford to shop in the sales? What a bitch. You parents are fucking awful for making your child feel shit. I’d walk away from them and do Christmas alone next year. Fuck the drama.

I would distance myself TBH!!!

Definitely time to distance yourself. Your child is now going to suffer.

Your poor DD. I agree with the others - stay at home next year!

I wouldn't waste any more of your family time on them.
Do something else altogether tomorrow.
A trip to somewhere for a walk and pub lunch maybe?

Why does your mum think you should be supportive of her?

She sounds vile. And hugely selfish which has been accepted by most of the family.

Have a nice quiet CF-free Christmas at your own house next year.

Problem solved.

Interesting.. She has no money for Family Gifts.. but can go to the SALES for Hours tomorrow

she is a piece of ENABLED work

I assume dsis is going to spend your £150 House of Fraser voucher in the sales

Foodylicious is right - don't hang around tomorrow now, just get going and do something nice with your own little family instead. Shows you were right not to take presents for her.

Yea same as everyone else. Dont put yourself or your family through that again.

Op it was a similar situation to what your dd had today that made me go very low contact with my mother. I live in a different country to her and she saw my children very rarely due to this. One Christmas we made a huge effort to get over to my birth country to celebrate christmas with them all. We were with my sister and niece and her then partner and his son. My dd then age 5 came over to me and I was trying to sort some dinner and said to her " why dont you go spend some time with grandma?" she looked up to me and said completely accepting it " no she would rather spend time with niece" Said niece saw my mother regularly and often would spend weekends with her Yet when my children were there she was so obvious about wanting time with niece that she couldn't take time out for my children..

I decided there and then I wasn't allowing my children to become second best and low contact commenced.. I stopped phoning stopped contacting and stopped giving updates. When she did contact me i would tell her of my children the moment niece was spoken of I would cut the conversation off.. Worked well for my sanity.

(disclaimer I love niece to pieces she is a lovely girl and actually lived with my for 18 months not her fault my mother wasnt able to not have favourites)

They're being a bunch of arseholes, sorry.

Lunch at 5pm FFS, to accommodate someone going sales shopping who claims to be stony broke, therefore excluding those that were also invited.

That's just weird.

Like PP, I would reduce contact if they really can't see why any of this is off.

I would not go next year, and have Cheistmas by yourselves, do not pander to this womanchild. Your parents and grandparents are facilitating all this, I would personally leave the family Whataspp group. Why should yiu be more supportive of her, how are they supportive of you. I woukd personally have a talk to yiur parents about how you feel, and whilst not going NC, create a distance from them for your own sanity.

This favouritising is affecting your poor dd, did she get less presents that your sisters kids. You need to create that emotional distance to protect her and you.

Why do the least deserving, rude, CF, demanding people always get people running round after them ?
P's me off.

Last year for this, OP. Please!!
It sounds so unhealthy, toxic and is now affecting your daughter.

I'd call it quits. And tell them all why. Factually. No emotion.
Good luck.

I would tell your mum exactly why you won't ever be going again at holidays to see them.

Lazy slug of a sister, who did fuck all, while you at 36 weeks pregnant threw in, and now everyone is expected to cater to her shopping day while her child is looked after, screwing up your plans to have a last lunch with your family? And yet ... you're supposed to be more supportive of her???

Tell your mum you're done. SEriously. And your granddad, too, for that matter, for his obvious favourtism of her highness' child over his other grandchild. Prat.

Sorry to read that OP. Well there's no misunderstanding now, next year hopefully you won't feel obligated to see them. Create your own magic at home with your DCs, they don't need to be exposed to this crap.

I wish you all the best.