To think my sister is being a cheeky fucker?

[Cheekyeffingsister]

We have a family whatsapp group and a few weeks ago we all put lists of present ideas for ourselves/our dcs and everyone said what they would get to avoid duplicates.

Dsis sent hers over, ‘does she think we’re all minted’ says dp whilst looking at her list. Nothing under £75 for her or her dp/DCs. We’re not well off by any means (her present is more than what I’ve spent on my own child) but she had called me and said ‘oh I couldn’t find what you wanted but saw some beautiful things you’ll love while in House of Fraser so got you and dp a £150 voucher towards them’ so based on that I felt I had to get her the pricey presents as couldn’t believe she’d spent so much! (Our presents we sent we’re all under £20)

Now 5 days before Christmas she has sent a message to the group whatsapp ‘Hi guys, just to let you all know we didn’t budget that well for Christmas and Sam asked for an Xbox last minuite so we won’t be doing presents for anyone this year. Hoped to get the kids something but don’t think we’ll have time now. See you Sunday x’

AIBU to think she’s a cheeky fucker? I know I’ll get called grabby and you don’t give to receive etc but to me it seems she’s sent us all pricey things, acting like she’s doing the same then waited until everyone will have bought things to say actually she’s not getting us anything!

I’m more pissed off that she said she’d get one of the things on DDs list and now i can’t find it to arrive before Xmas.

Disclaimer as not to dripfeed - she has form for this kind of thing.

You've handled it brilliantly OP (and OP's DH). You can't change how others respond to your sister, or indeed pander to her, but you can change how you react to it all.

Wishing you a lovely Christmas OP.

I've been lurking on this thread, to see how it worked out, and I think you have dealt with it perfectly, @Cheekyeffingsister!

It's worrying that you were still planning on giving your DN the presents you'd bought, until your DH said no.

It's way past time to stand up to her antics. If I'd received a gift list like she sent you, I would have ignored it and only spent what I'd originally planned.

However, I would still get selection boxes.

The kids were not involved in the sister's decisions and cheeky fuckery though.

Please tell her you liked the chandelier so much your dh bought it for you for Christmas. Then send her a photo when its up.

I have a sibling like this sends me pics if things purchased for their child saying got this for xxx for Xmas cis the £xxx thought you could get it! Last year was once too often so u text dorry that's more than my budget I will choose something. My other sibling is tight and has never really spent more than a fiver on anyone but has decided that's too much this year. Also the type to give gift saying this birthday/Xmas combined. I have always chosen carefully for their kids the gift rather than the cost being the most important consideration but this year sod it I'll buy for my kids and gc the rest will get a card

Apologies for post errors I'm tired (but can't sleep)

DBro and I have always done Christmas presents and when DSiL came along I've always bought for her, theve always been very generous with my DSs and since they've had my fab DNephew I've reciprocated with the same amount as they would spend on my 2 DCs. I'm happy with that and as I get older and earn more I'm more than happy to spend more on presents, I love them all to bits and we are very close. DH has never bothered to buy birthday or Christmas presents for his DB or DSiL, that's just the way they've always been (me and DH have been together for 12 years, married for 9). When we got together I always bought birthday and Christmas presents for his (our DNiece) and when she had a partner I bought for him, that was until she phoned me to tell me that in their family they don't do presents after anyone is 18 (was my eldest DSs 18th two years ago) their presents stopped then -although funnily enough they never told me about the 18 year rule earlier😂 And accepted gifts for several years, we are not loaded but don't do cheap gifts, some people are CFs, anyway their daughter has money for Christmas and birthday from us (they ask for money not presents) I just hope it reaches her bank account, I'd rather do a cheque, DH is lazy and send cash via his brother 😏

Wow...you ANBU! That’s pretty crappy of your sister and seems very calculating! Also, she told you she’d purchased a £150 voucher for you? So what happened to that? Is she also a liar?!! Do not give her those gifts. Return and refund or keep them for yourselves or future gifts for other people. Store in a cupboard. Buy her DCs token gifts like small pack of chocolate and a £10 amazon gift card (you can get from Sainsbury). Don’t get her or her DP anything, reply on the WhatsApp group “absolutely no problem and totally understand your position. We will follow your lead as we’ve been struggling a bit financially too (unexpected bills!) so we will do the same as you. Cheers lovely and see you all on Sunday. Can’t wait!”
She’s got a fucking cheek to be honest.

Op you many want to have a little something wrapped in the car just in case she turns with gifts after all

You are doing the right thing. Well done b

Op you many want to have a little something wrapped in the car just in case she turns with gifts after all

IF she does do this, let your kids open their presents first before going to get your presents! Then you know whether to get proper presents or selection boxes!

Have you heard from her at all?!

I really want to see what she turns up with on Christmas day now!

Sorry this is a bit off-topic, but do people really pander to (expensive) last-minute gift requests? We’ve already bought DC gifts, so when they come 3 days before Christmas with requests for the huge Lego train set with add-ons and some other OTT stuff, I just ignore - am I mean?!!

Any chance OP, that you can surreptitiously film for us your sister's jaw dropping open on Christmas Day when she realises you've taken her at her word?

Any chance OP, that you can surreptitiously film for us your sister's jaw dropping open on Christmas Day when she realises you've taken her at her word?

Oh Yes!

Any chance OP, that you can surreptitiously film for us your sister's jaw dropping open on Christmas Day when she realises you've taken her at her word?

WTF? That's a fucking terrible idea. Please tell me you're not serious?!

The OP sounds pretty sane - and if she is she won't give this request a second thought!

Besides it probably not being legal, the OP would lose the moral high ground instantly and probably seriously damage her relationship with her sister.

These are real people, you know, this isn't an intereactive soap opera FFS!

I sense that comment was light-hearted...

Chill your piss raisins
I'm absolutely sure that was not a serious suggestion

She must think you’re all idiots to still buy her and her family £££££s worth Of gifts whilst she gives nothing!
When people ask for suggestions for what to get me, I include a range of prices so they can choose (ranging from socks to stuff like books and pyjamas), I never ever pick something expensive! People have got loads to buy for, so I never expect more than £10 ish!

Is it sad that I can't wait to see what happens over Xmas lol

I'm so glad you have stood up to her.

Oh Raisins calm down for goodness sake....it's just a joke!

Of course I wasn't serious!