To think my sister is being a cheeky fucker?

[Cheekyeffingsister]

We have a family whatsapp group and a few weeks ago we all put lists of present ideas for ourselves/our dcs and everyone said what they would get to avoid duplicates.

Dsis sent hers over, ‘does she think we’re all minted’ says dp whilst looking at her list. Nothing under £75 for her or her dp/DCs. We’re not well off by any means (her present is more than what I’ve spent on my own child) but she had called me and said ‘oh I couldn’t find what you wanted but saw some beautiful things you’ll love while in House of Fraser so got you and dp a £150 voucher towards them’ so based on that I felt I had to get her the pricey presents as couldn’t believe she’d spent so much! (Our presents we sent we’re all under £20)

Now 5 days before Christmas she has sent a message to the group whatsapp ‘Hi guys, just to let you all know we didn’t budget that well for Christmas and Sam asked for an Xbox last minuite so we won’t be doing presents for anyone this year. Hoped to get the kids something but don’t think we’ll have time now. See you Sunday x’

AIBU to think she’s a cheeky fucker? I know I’ll get called grabby and you don’t give to receive etc but to me it seems she’s sent us all pricey things, acting like she’s doing the same then waited until everyone will have bought things to say actually she’s not getting us anything!

I’m more pissed off that she said she’d get one of the things on DDs list and now i can’t find it to arrive before Xmas.

Disclaimer as not to dripfeed - she has form for this kind of thing.

Get a refund on her gift you bought!

Love the idea of getting her The Grinch as a present

@DerelictWreck haha me too SMH

Wow. Just wow....

Please tells OP! Dying to know lol

Haven’t read whole thread so apologies if it’s moved on, however, you should attempt to get a refund or put the gift away and give it to someone else for a birthday present or something.

My sister did something similar to me, but worse. At least you have a chance to get a refund. I wasn’t told until Christmas Day. Basically I handed over a well thought out and relatively expensive gift (as usual) and she replied that she decided not to do presents that year because she didn’t have the money. No warning whatsoever. No shame in accepting my gift and ripping it open. I was seething and DH has to calm me down. It actually felt like she had stolen from me. She has form for being grabby though.

Like the idea of replying along the lines of "great, that suits us too tbh as we are struggling a bit with escalating costs"

I wouldn't say that. It makes her feel she's actually done you a favour.

I like your simple reply. It's the text equivalent of a poker face. She has no idea what you're going to do next!

That response is brilliant OP, perfect!

Great text op. Did she reply?

Say nowt about returning the gifts. On Christmas Day when she’s sitting there with her hands out say ‘oh sorry thought you said you weren’t doing gifts this year so just assumed you’d know we’d do the same. Merry Christmas you grabby cow’. Obviously don’t say that last sentence aloud!

Doesn’t sound grabbyat all and yes definitley a cheeky fucker! Do the same to her next year!

"Get a refund" is going to be the new "cancel the chaque."

Cheque! Grumps!

This made me laugh out loud! Damn cheeky! I would return whatever gift I had bought and buy whatever I could genuinely afford and came from the heart.

Narscissm in finest form. I'd be livid but be super nice. Take presents back for refund

Christmas. Gotta love it. Season of goodwill and all that.....

Get all stuff you got and get refunds
She sounds mentally ill
Smile breathe and enjoy Christmas

Sister or no sister, cut her off! You don't need people like that in your life, you wouldn't expect that off a friend let alone family!

Don't let her get away with it, if you thought it was a genuine thing, fine, but if she has form for this, don't kowtow to her, send what you have back, you have loger to do this at Christmas, and explain that some unexpected bills arrived last minute so you couldn't do her gifts either, and laugh and smile about hos funny it was that it happened to both of you! It might make her think next time! xxx

Well I have steam coming out of my ears thinking about your cf sister.! A suggestion from me would be to say to her, you buy your kids a token present from us and we'll buy ours one and say it is off you. Otherwise just get the selection boxes - I did that with some cf relatives a few years ago then stopped buying altogether. Its not fair for your kids to see others opening presents when they receive nothing in return. I would also talk to your mum and the rest of your family too, if it were me! Good luck!

Not a problem, I know you said you had already purchased the house of fraser gift card, so don’t worry about anything over and above, and we can just get you all a small gift each.

She’s the grabby one - not you!

Do not give and agree to not give in the future, if she suggests in the future say you simply cannot afford or set a 5/10 limit whatever. If it’s okay for her to say can’t afford it is for you also, as she will clearly do the same again. Hope she’s on here reading this!

Please message and say 'that's fine - we're not doing presents either, see you soon x' DO IT NOW! And get a refund for any gifts you already purchased

Has she responded to your very dignified text?
Good on DH.

£150 is a ridiculous amount to spend on one person anyway.

You’ve done the right thing by listening to the irrational advice of Mumsnet-no-balls which was coincidentally the same as the rational advice of your DH-big-balls.