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Original poster

Babysitting for free for working neighbour

164 replies

Grump1 · 20/12/2017 01:31

My neighbour works shifts and can usually her OH can cover weekends - but not always so I get asked to babysit always in their house. My DH didn't mind until recently when I was away for eight hours and got no thank you text (and certainly no small treat handed in). The following weekend the same but while I thought both adults were working in fact neighbour's OH was on a very long night out with his friends. I had been led to believe he was at work. Does it matter? My DH thinks I should expect them to pay as it allows them to take the better paid weekend shifts. How do I convey this to them after helping out for free for the last four years or so. The children are getting older and more of a handful. My own are now independent and I was a STAHM so got the t-shirt. Also sounds petty but when I babysat for friends alway got left treat for supper and thanked next day but babysitting in return. This is one way. Childminders and nurseries don't work for people on weekend and night shift. What do others do?

OP posts:
WasDoingFine · 20/12/2017 03:04

bigsexywalker2 - is that your way of saying you don't believe this?

KC225 · 20/12/2017 03:40

I get how this started off as a favour and escalated into more. They are taking advantage big time. New Year, new you. Send a text NOW giving notice. Say something along the lines 'just to let you know I will no longer be able to look after your children from 24.12.17 (whatever date). I will have new commitments in the New Year and you will have to find alternative childcare.

You don't owe them an explanation, they owe you one. You don't have to fall out with them but chances they will be miffed, CF'S often are when they are pulled up on their behaviour.

Let us know what happens OP. Don't let this continue, it cannot make you feel good about yourself.

pallisers · 20/12/2017 03:59

They are completely taking the piss.

And to be honest, you need to do some work on yourself as to why on earth you let this arrangement happen in the first place. You are being used by them and you are putting up with it. Why?

You sound nice but honestly, way too soft. way way way too soft.

And your neighbours aren't nice. They are cheeky fuckers.

AstridWhite · 20/12/2017 04:02

I had been led to believe he was at work. Does it matter?

Of course it matters. Especially when there is no pay involved. If it was a job you enjoyed and you got paid a fair hourly rate then they can ask for any reason they like and if it suits you to do it then do it. But lying to you is clearly taking huge advantage of your good nature, more than they already were. Which is an unbelievable amount.

How do I convey this to them after helping out for free for the last four years or so..

FOUR YEARS?

Are you always this much of a doormat? Shock I'm surprised your DH hasn't lost his shit over it long before now. Roughly how often has this been happening over a four year period?

I think there's worse to come.

I think you might be right MissConduct Best buckle up for the ride now eh?

scotchpie · 20/12/2017 07:32

Erm, like fuck would I do that ever again. They have massively taken the piss.

Just tell her you were under the impression they were both working and your not prepared to give up your weekend so her DH can go out on the razz.

Cheeky sofa.

Btw, who minds their kids during the day after they have both worked all night?

Aeroflotgirl · 20/12/2017 07:39

Oh my goodness, cheeky feckers at its best. Op your a doormat and your neighbours are using you, and no thanks or anything. Tell her yiu can no longer look after her kids and that she will have to find paid childcare. Her kids her problem.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 20/12/2017 07:42

“No. Sorry but I can no longer commit to looking after your children free of charge on such a regular basis as it seems to have evolved into an unpaid childminding arrangement. Good luck with finding cover”

Whinesalot · 20/12/2017 07:45

I don't blame dh for getting annoyed on your behalf. Tell them you aren't going to do it anymore as it's getting too much for you and you want don't want the responsibility anymore and you are simplifying and distressing your life in general.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 20/12/2017 07:45

I wouldn't even warn them I would just refuse each time they ask

expatinscotland · 20/12/2017 07:46

No one is this wet, seriously?

LagunaBubbles · 20/12/2017 07:49

Why do people let themselves get treated like this? 4 years seriously?? Shock

pitterpatterrain · 20/12/2017 07:49

Agreed, expat

Appuskidu · 20/12/2017 07:50

How do I convey this to them after helping out for free for the last four years or so

Who would put up with this for 4 years?!

Pommes · 20/12/2017 07:52

Hand in your notice with immediate effect. Tell them they can waive any accrued annual leave and monies owed. Wink

londonrach · 20/12/2017 07:54

What pommes said but id enclose an invoice. Four years. Learn to say no. Not your problem.

MammothMountain · 20/12/2017 08:00

Babysitting takes place in the child's house, childminding takes place in your house.

Either way this is a pisstake, the line is "this doesn't work for me."

If pushed, then you can say I can no longer do this free of charge and will need to charge the going rate of a babysitter.

ClaryFray · 20/12/2017 08:01

Either your to nice or I'm to mean.

Tell her I'm can't babysit any longer. End off.

zzzzz · 20/12/2017 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tempuser123 · 20/12/2017 08:03

Who would put up with this for 4 years?!

It depends how much. If its been the odd morning or afternoon every month or two then maybe. Though I would expect a thank you of some sort.

Whole days and/or most weekends is a different matter.

RestingBitchFaced · 20/12/2017 08:05

Just tell them the arrangement is not working for you any more, and then stand your ground and repeat as necessary. It's not your problem, and they are massively taking the piss

Aeroflotgirl · 20/12/2017 08:07

She saw you coming op, she really did.

Rudgie47 · 20/12/2017 08:07

Just say you will be unable to do it anymore and that they should contact Social Services for a list of local childminders.
They are piss takers of the highest order.
Fair enough in an absolute emergency once, bu this is shocking, they are just using you. You dont owe them any explanation just say you cant do it.

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 20/12/2017 08:08

Eight hours minding their kids??!! They must be so smug about it. I can just imagine them telling their friends how their soft-touch neighbour does all their childcare free of charge.

Do what PP have said: text them today saying that from the New Year you will no longer be available to mind their children and they need to arrange cover, especially in emergencies*.

*Because you know that every occasion will suddenly become an emergency.

JaneEyre70 · 20/12/2017 08:08

You sound like a really nice person OP, and sadly you're being used. To look after someone's children for 8 hours and not get a thank you? That's appalling behaviour, and shows that they're not respecting you or your precious time. New Year, new start. If you feel worried about it, tell them you've got health issues or are starting work yourself so can't help out any further. But don't be anyone's doormat Flowers.

honeysucklejasmine · 20/12/2017 08:10

Whoa. Your DH is right. Stop doing it.

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