Christmas present buying

[Liz876]

I probably know the answer to this but Aibu to keep letting other people, who constantly feel the need to tell me how much they've spent on their kids for Christmas make me doubt myself if I've bought enough for my own kids. My Dh thinks I am and that I should just smile and nod along when people do this.

Don't get me wrong I've had the odd conversation with friends about what our kids have asked for but I have a couple of friends in particular who are Christmas obsessed, who spend a fortune (which is fine it's their choice) but then go one step further and have sat and rhymed off to me every single present they have bought their children and told me to the penny how much they've spent.

At first I didn't really care because firstly it's their choice and secondly I was happy with what I'd bought for my own children. But now I'm doubting myself. I don't usually post on here about how much I spend on Christmas but to put it into perspective I have three children and have spent around £400 each on gifts for them, plus new clothes, shoes etc. My Dh feels this is enough and despite us being able to spend more we genuinely can't think of anything else they would like so we'd just be buying for buying's sake. My eldest has a mixture of designer clothes (not extortionate top end prices though) perfume, trainers, gift vouchers, etc. Middle child has got an Xbox plus games and the lots of smaller presents like smellies, make up, hair products and then my youngest has got a small tablet, hot wheels garage, imaginext toys, lego, etc etc. They also get plenty of presents from their grandparents, aunts, uncles etc so the house is full come Christmas Day. Rationally i know they have enough and like I said we could spend more but I don't want to spoil them too much, and have instead put money aside for trips out over Christmas i.e. a pantomime, meal out, trampoline park etc. I know my kids will get so much more out of these sort of things so why am I stressing? Ahh!!!!

Perhaps they do it for the same reasons that you have here? Just to check that they have 'done enough'. No one wants to be the kid that gets back to school and had to listen to other kids regaling great lists of presents when they have received a small amount by comparison.

Apart from tabloid newspapers and parenting websites I don't know anyone in real life who:

1. Buys 50 presents for children
2. Asks others how much they have spent or are spending.

You have bought plenty, if you want to spend more I suggest you support a food bank or donate to a refuge over Christmas.

Personally, I think £400 per child is outrageous. What could they possibly need that costs that much? There must be a tiny percentage of children having that amount spent on them.

Telling me to go away just because you don't like what I've said is a bit silly. I know that my kids are lucky and there are less fortunate people just like there are more fortunate people than myself. I've already done two Christmas box's for my dd's school that will be sent abroad and I've donated to a few charities and put money in box's as I've been round town.

But 13-14 presents under the tree is a mound.

Why do they need trainers AND a make up set AND all the other stuff? Fair enough if each thing cost a tenner, but if we had asked for 100 quid trainers (for example) as a kid, they would absolutely have been our 'main' present.

My youngest's presents may look like a mound but only because they are bigger plastic type toys. My dd's trainers should have been £90 but were reduced to £50 which I don't think is bad considering she has size 7 feet so in adult sizes. The make up set was £40 but reduced from £80 and it will last her all year. I've gone for practical things that they'll get good use from not lots of over priced tat so I don't see the problem.

you sound as bad as the people your talking about my kids have half of that each but i certainly don’t go creating a thread about it. Do you really need to tell posters about the designer clothes you got your kids. Grow up there’s genuine people out there who are struggling this year to even fed and keep the warm this year!

I don't think £400 is loads,but then it doesn't bother me what other people do that's up to them

What I said was I haven't told people i.e. my friends and family but speaking about it on here is different. Lots of people come on here to discuss things that they wouldn't in RL and wouldn't say to family members and friends.

Meh.
If you want to spend £50 or £500 on your child just do it and stop blabbing about it.
I've got dd far too much as I had a whole pile of vouchers about to expire. I can save some, or I might not.
Who cares.

When I said designer clothes I'm not taking about expansive brand said like Gucci Prada etc. I'm talking about a few carefully chosen items that my dd has waited all year for and I didn't pay full price for anything as I got them in the sales. My dd buys a lot of her clothes herself throughout the year as she saves her money and will very often go halvers with me if she wants something a little more expansive.

Your friends are weird and raising a small army of nightmare little Dudley Dursleys. You don't want to be like your friends.

Your kids have a ton of stuff to look forward too - frankly too much, in my opinion. For goodness' sake don't feel pressured into buying more.

It does come across as a bit of a joke that you're doubting yourself and worrying that spending £400 on each child isn't enough.

I wouldn't dream of spending that and could never afford it.

If this isn't a wind up, then you're suffering from a severe case of Christmasitis and should lie in a dark room until you start to think more rationally.

I think it's because my kids now they're older have got less for the money I've spent so it doesn't look quite as much. My kids would be over the moon would with anything really as they're good kids and know I put thought into what I buy them. It's just me and my insecurities.

I think your post is designed to get the replies it has to be honest. No-one cares what other people spend on their children. As it is I spend about £500 on mine each which I can afford and if I want to spend that I will. I dont boast about it, I dont compare myself to others etc. If some people think thats "outragreous" you know what - I dont care. It doesnt mean they dont know the meaning of Christmas and family is more important etc that is often trotted out on threads like this, because you can do that to.

I think as kids get older Christmas becomes more expensive as the gifts they want tend to be more expensive. Having said that Christmas can cost us much or little as you ultimately choose to spend. I spent £150 ish in my nearly 6 years old and about £80 on my 14 month old. I saw no need to spend another £70 on him just to make it the same amount as he will be delighted with his toys.

I really could not care if someone else spends £2k it’s there money and there choice.

Your more goady the more you post. Do you realise how off putting your coming across, there’s nothing more worse that an someone who is materialistic and comes online to brad about what she spends but then says she wonders if it’s enough get a grip! You know what my dc are looking forward to the most about Christmas seeing their dying grandfather. Have some perspective.

OP, people are always going to get upset about this subject.

It doesn’t matter what people spend, I spend quite a bit but like you it includes clothes (some brands).

Just because someone has spent £400 like OP it doesn’t mean they are going to have loads to open, if she’s buying clothes money does not go far, a hoodie can cost £30-£50, shoes can cost £50.

My dd’s Don’t have piles of presents, I don’t buy cheap tat, would rather spend £200 on a couple nice items that will get used/worn all year. I save all year for Christmas so I don’t go into debt.

OP, don’t feel pressured into spending more, I’m sure your dc’s will be more than happy with what they have, I’m sure you will have a great Christmas. If you have money to buy more than maybe donate a few gifts to charity (woman’s aid for example) and add a bag of food to your local food bank.

Spend what you like, OP, and let others spend what they choose. I've bought DD loads of presents that will make her face light up as well as tickets to every Christmas event we can get to and couldn't care less who judges. I'm on a v low income (student) but I don't drink or anything - that is a total waste imo - and I can afford it.

There will always be people who spend more than you and people who spend less. If you've bought your children things that you believe will bring them joy (and not over extended yourself financially) then that is good enough. The money spent is not important.

I've had years where I've spent lots (the years where I bought new playstations etc) and other years (like this one) where I've 'only' bought them each about 4 decent presents (I have stopped buying little bits and have decided to spend that money on one 'proper' present instead) each.

I just sold my car and had to use the money to pay off the credit card. I am not going to waste that money by running up more debt for Christmas. I think Christmas should be within our means or instead of it being lovely, it becomes just one more thing to make us stressed.
I figure my teens are getting driving lessons and mobile contracts paid for throughout the year, along with whatever else they need. They are doing okay, and don't need hundreds of extra pounds spent on them at Christmas.
So you have to close your mind to what your friends are doing and just concentrate on finding nice stuff that your kids will like, for the budget you have, and know that that is good enough!

Materialistic wow, you're the first person to lo ever call me that. If you knew me you'd know I'm not at all like that. I hate shopping and only go when I have to. I only buy clothes for myself when I really really have to, I don't drive a fancy car, live in a modest house and don't spend a fortune on Beauty, fashion or the latest tech gadgets.

It all sounds a bit 'keeping up with the Jones's'. I would never worry about what other people bought their kids and I would never discuss it with friends. I think you've got an odd group of friends.

£400 plus clothes and shoes sounds like plenty. Are you actually worried they will be disappointed?

Oh, and yes I do give presents to local charities (although I bet half the virtue signallers don't). I get the best I can in the sales over the year.