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Original poster

Spelling someone's name wrong on Christmas card every year

132 replies

mydogisthebest · 18/12/2017 13:20

Mr and DH and neighbour have been giving each other cards for about 10 years now. Every year without fail she spells my name wrong.

My name can only be spelt 2 ways, with an e or without an e. It's not difficult. Does she not read the card we put through her door to see that I don't spell it the way she writes it?

I know it is silly but it really winds me up. If people don't know me very well then I accept they may spell it wrong and the first year she gave a card I was ok with it. Since then I have not been ok with it.

Mind you she also writes DH's name first and then mine. I was taught that you always put the woman's name first and then the man's.

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 18/12/2017 19:16

My neighbours sent me a card for several years addressed to my husbands name and jeanette. My name is nothing at all like jeanette but i gave up correcting it a few yrs in ! She has cracked it now though so there is always hope !

Lules · 18/12/2017 19:20

The people we bought our house from think my DH’s name is Gary. It isn’t. They must have seen his actual name many times on the paperwork.

I didn’t initially correct them and I let it go too long so now I just can’t be in any social situation with them ever. This is a problem because they still live very close and are pillars of the community type people. Or I get my DH to change his name. I don’t think that would be an overreaction.

yawning801 · 18/12/2017 19:20

One of my friends used to be driven crazy by her neighbour calling her by her full name (think Rita-Janice rather than Rita - not her real name) and she hated it! Worse, she didn't know her neighbour's name at all so she had to refer to her as Mrs X and couldn't get her own back! Grin

ItsNachoCheese · 18/12/2017 19:22

mydogisthebest i think you have the same name as me as thats the only 2 ways my name can be spelt, yet im amazed at dm's friend who has gave me a card with a different spelling every year! Grin i didnt kmow my name had so many variations haha

Glumglowworm · 18/12/2017 19:31

Family I would expect to get it right

A neighbour who probably only writes your name once a year I would let it slide

I once had my name spelt completely randomly in a leaving card, my colleagues had seen my name written on every rota for ages and the way they spelled it isn’t even a real name. I just laughed and appreciated that they got me a card.

Marylou2 · 18/12/2017 19:33

We get a card every year from DHs cousin with his name and his ExWs name. We have been married for 16 years and the cousin came to our wedding and also to ExWs funeral.

Eolian · 18/12/2017 19:48

Grin at quite a few posters on this thread who are complaining about others' spellings, and yet have made at least one spelling mistake in their post.

happystory · 18/12/2017 19:51

Flipping heck, I couldn't a flying wotsit about this, at least she sends you a card

BouncyTigger85 · 18/12/2017 19:51

@Eolian Yes I rolled my eyes at myself when I noticed I had put ‘doesn’t he’ instead of ‘does he’ and that’s just the one I’ve spotted. There’s probably more 😂

Eolian · 18/12/2017 20:14

Yes, lots more Grin. (Not lots more in your post, I mean on the thread in general!)

BouncyTigger85 · 18/12/2017 20:22

Phew, I was worried for a second then 😁

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 18/12/2017 20:30

Our neighbours down the road address cards to me and ds1 name instead of me and dh.

We send back a card with the correct order of our names every year hoping they realise.Grin

CupOfFrothyCoffee · 18/12/2017 20:32

Oh come off it, coffee, we can all give head-space to a number of things. And this is a forum for people to say/ponder/debate things that they might not do in real life. Including things that others might find trivial or pointless

Ok, that's fair enough. It's just OP said she's not ok with this and it really winds her up. It just seems a bit OTT, maybe it's because I'm used to it that I don't think it's a big deal. People don't really seem to give a shit if they spell a name wrong ime, they'll nod when corrected and get it wrong again next time so better to let it go.

Asthenia · 18/12/2017 20:48

I have one of the simplest names in the world (literally 3 letters) and you would not believe the variations of spelling I’ve had on cards/emails/post over the years

Gingaaarghpussy · 18/12/2017 21:16

my ds2 is 12 this year, for the last 11 years a friend of mine has spent his name wrong. We open the card with baited breathe waiting to see if she's spelt it right yet

00alwaysbusymum · 18/12/2017 21:29

My FIL spells 2 of my 3 children's names wrong! He only has 6 grandchildren. I completely understand they are not common names - but they are European names and for one of them there is a very famous sports star with the same spelling.

BadFeminist · 18/12/2017 21:30

Haha! This is something I'd do. Just because I knew it'd get to you.

I'm petty and rob Swanson is my idol, so sue me.

frami · 18/12/2017 21:43

My name is both a male and female name but with different spellings. I'd estimate that 50% of people use the "wrong" version, that doesn't bother me but I have a friend who calls me by a shortened version which I have never used and hate. I have pulled her up on it numerous times but she still persists. Drives me mad.

PavlovianLunge · 18/12/2017 23:48

I take your point, coffee, and in the scheme of things, it’s small change, and there’s little to be achieved by getting her up about it.

As someone with two names that people misspell, it just feels a bit lacking in care or interest, but that said, my response to you was snappy, and I apologise for that.

JaceLancs · 19/12/2017 00:26

We always smile at the card from an elderly friend of my parents who always gets my DC name wrong
She also thinks I have 2 boys
DD 26 has had 26 years to get used to it

StarWarsFanatic · 19/12/2017 01:05

As I understand it it is the woman's name first for social correspondence & the man's for official correspondence.

I tend to ignore this and base it on who we knew first/better/etc.

Voiceforreason · 19/12/2017 05:52

Does it really matter. My name is continually spelt wrong by both friends and family. The sentiment is there. It is a small thing. Am amazed at the nastiness of 'getting back' at people by spelling their names incorrectly. Very childish attitude to something so trivial.

AliciaMayEmory · 19/12/2017 06:05

I agree with voiceforareason. I really doubt that your neighbour is sitting there and thinking 'I know, I'll spell mydogisthebest's name wrong, that'll really piss her off' when she's writing your card. I can't get worked up about this petty stuff. She's been kind enough to send you a card. Focus on that and not the triviality of the spelling. It really doesn't matter.

BaffledMummy · 19/12/2017 06:30

My dad spelled my mum’s name incorrectly for the 60 odd years they were together. Used to drive her bonkers but there was no doubt he adored her so it wasn’t malicious. We all had to check the proof on her gravestone before it was engraved to make sure he’d got the spelling right!

Argeles · 19/12/2017 06:30

I detest it when people spell your name correctly, and/or pronounce it incorrectly to the extent that they are in fact saying a completely different name!

Two of my old friends spell my daughter’s name incorrectly to the point where it becomes a different name altogether. They pronounce it in their preferred way too, and this is despite correcting them, and receiving texts and greetings cards from me with the correct spelling of my daughter’s name in!

I hardly have any contact with them now, as this has offended me so much. One of them has even done exactly the same with my Husband’s name for 8 years too.