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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Spelling someone's name wrong on Christmas card every year

132 replies

mydogisthebest · 18/12/2017 13:20

Mr and DH and neighbour have been giving each other cards for about 10 years now. Every year without fail she spells my name wrong.

My name can only be spelt 2 ways, with an e or without an e. It's not difficult. Does she not read the card we put through her door to see that I don't spell it the way she writes it?

I know it is silly but it really winds me up. If people don't know me very well then I accept they may spell it wrong and the first year she gave a card I was ok with it. Since then I have not been ok with it.

Mind you she also writes DH's name first and then mine. I was taught that you always put the woman's name first and then the man's.

OP posts:

RoseWhiteTips · 18/12/2017 15:43

Everyone should take the trouble - no big deal, frankly - to spell other peiple’s names properly. Doing anything else is rude.

RoseWhiteTips · 18/12/2017 15:44

...people’s...

crumbsinthecutlerydrawer · 18/12/2017 15:45

My neighbours all spell my name wrong and it doesn’t bother me at all.

My sister, however, spells dp’s name wrong every year in birthday and Christmas cards, as well as in every single text she sends referencing him. We’ve been together 11 years, I have told her repeatedly he doesn’t spell his name that way and got told it was her autocorrect. That’s fine for a text I suppose but doesn’t explain the cards. I find it rude and a bit dismissive that she just can’t be bothered to get it right, especially when I’ve corrected her several times.

MissionItsPossible · 18/12/2017 15:53

I've had 31 years of birthday and Christmas cards from one aunt and not one of them has the correct spelling of my name. In her defence, my name is very common but with an unusual spelling. But still, 31 years, come on!

AnyFucker · 18/12/2017 15:54

Don't sweat the small stuff

I have a name that is equally spelled 2 ways. My husband's aunt signed cards for 3 decades with the wrong one. I didn't care because I loved her and she loved me. Past tense.

smashbake · 18/12/2017 16:07

It's annoying Ann, but probably too late to get your neighbour to change it now.

milliemolliemou · 18/12/2017 16:07

I have

first name spelt wrongly
last name spelt wrongly
addressed by DH's name (which I've never used) .... spelt wrongly

And that's just the bank. Like other PPs I just wait for the variety I get on Christmas cards. And enjoy tsking.

MillyMollyMoo

WashBasketsAreUs · 18/12/2017 17:08

My email address is something like
anne- with- an- e ( not really called Anne) and the number of replies I get without the e is amazing! I sign off with the right name, my email has the right name- details, people, details!
Saying that I try not to let it worry me.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 18/12/2017 18:25

SIL always gets DS2's name wrong, she gives it a completely different last syllable! Like Daydon instead of David, for example.

clappityclap · 18/12/2017 18:29

We have a Rachel, a Jon and a Clare. It's never happened that they've all had their names correctly, no one seems bothered.

Eolian · 18/12/2017 18:31

It would mildly irritate me too, but tbh some people are just very bad at spelling, and getting it right is probably not high on their list of priorities. They probably spell lots of things incorrectly, so names (which often have multiple spelling variations) are particularly likely to go wrong.

ApocalypseNowt · 18/12/2017 18:34

For several years I sent a card to my neighbour, Claire.

Her name was actually Sam.

MrsU88 · 18/12/2017 18:38

Happens all the time here but I just have to let it go otherwise I'd be constantly annoyed.
Mine gets all sorts. Eg.. if my name was Georgia it would be Gina, Georgina, georgie and all sorts of spellings.
My daughter is spelt wrong all the time...but it's an odd spelling name. Think niamh spelt as naimh or neve or neev.
My son I thought was a good English name and could never be spelt wrong...with extra letters put in randomly.

So...we just make a joke of it within the family and call each other by random names we've received and then move on

SemolinaSilkpaws · 18/12/2017 18:40

I have the opposite dilemma. I recently moved and have received a Christmas card from a neighbour introducing themselves. I can’t read their writing so will have to scrawl something slightly illegible and sort out the proper spelling when I meet them.

Ashamedandblamed · 18/12/2017 18:43

Yesterday my bf said to me ' My mom
Made you a Christmas box but she realized she spelt your name with one N not two'.

He replied saying to her oh dear your right that is wrong.

It wasn't. It is ONE N!

This will be mine and his third Christmas.

Some people are just ignorant/stupid.

Littlebelina · 18/12/2017 18:47

I would be in a permanent state of anger if I got worked up everytime someone used a) the wrong version of my name b) a shortening I dislike or c) spelt it in some completely made up way. I have just learnt to go meh and be grateful they have gone to the effort to send me a card. If my name is right more often than not dh's is wrong! I thought we had given ds a bomb proof name but a card today has proved me wrong

BouncyTigger85 · 18/12/2017 18:47

My cousin spells my name wrong everytime on Facebook messages, where she can see it on her screen 🙄
I suppose that beats a lot of people that call me Sarah (nothing remotely like my name). Don’t know why that is, but I’ve even had people replying to my emails ‘Hi Sarah’ 🤨

SwedishEdith · 18/12/2017 18:49

Oh, god, are you my neighbour? I angst over whether it's with or without the e each year.

Mehfruittea · 18/12/2017 18:49

Every year we get a card for me and DAVE. My DH is not called Dave, in fact, none of those letters are even in his name. He finds it hilarious and started signing cards as Dave.

AdorableMisfit · 18/12/2017 18:50

My grandfather spelled both mine and my sister's names wrong in every birthday and Christmas card for almost 30 years. My sister and I used to laugh about it. He also consistently got my birthday wrong by a month every year, February instead of January. In a way I didn't mind, it meant a got a random present a month after my actual birthday.

BouncyTigger85 · 18/12/2017 18:51

@mehfruittea Is he called Rodney and doesn’t he have a brother called Derek by any chance? 😂

TrulyFubar · 18/12/2017 18:55

I've been with DH since I was 15. I'm now 52. Without fail my SIL spells my name wrong. It's definitely passive-aggressive nonsense as it's gone way beyond a polite reminder, laughing it off plus a polite reminder, writing my name in the clearest way possible plus a polite reminder, silent seething with no reminder to an acceptance of her pig ignorance.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 18/12/2017 18:55

For 15 years my mum and her next door neighbour spelled each other 's names wrong on every Christmas card - eg To Ann love from Catherine/ To Katherine love from Anne. Mum grumbled about it every year, but continued to make the same mistake.

Tippz · 18/12/2017 19:11

@mydogisthebest

That is as annoying as fuck. I have a slightly unusual name, (think Antoinette,) and one girl I used to go to school with (over 20 years ago,) spelt it wrong every fucking year. (She spelt it Antonette.) So about 5 years ago, I spelt HERS wrong.

She was Karen, and I put Karren. She actually texted me to say 'you spelt my name wrong LOL!' And then proceeded to send me a Christmas card with my name spelt wrong again!

So I put her name wrong again on her birthday card. She put a post on Facebook, just saying 'How hard can it be to get the name KAREN right?!' Then oddly, she never sent me any more cards; silly cow!

I thought the man's name was meant to come first (traditionally) by the way. Not the womans!