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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Spelling someone's name wrong on Christmas card every year

132 replies

mydogisthebest · 18/12/2017 13:20

Mr and DH and neighbour have been giving each other cards for about 10 years now. Every year without fail she spells my name wrong.

My name can only be spelt 2 ways, with an e or without an e. It's not difficult. Does she not read the card we put through her door to see that I don't spell it the way she writes it?

I know it is silly but it really winds me up. If people don't know me very well then I accept they may spell it wrong and the first year she gave a card I was ok with it. Since then I have not been ok with it.

Mind you she also writes DH's name first and then mine. I was taught that you always put the woman's name first and then the man's.

OP posts:
mydogisthebest · 18/12/2017 14:02

Yes she is only my neighbour but surely if you are going to bother to write a card out to someone you make sure you spell their name right?

My name has 3 letters (she puts 4) so not difficult at all. It may be a minor thing but I think it is very rude.

I make sure I spell people's names right. I write cards to a few people with the same name but spelt different ways - a Clair and a Clare, a Nicky and a Nicki and Becky, Becka, Beckie. I check and double check

OP posts:
Sandsnake · 18/12/2017 14:02

Ignore it. Seriously. Life's too short to worry about things like this.

FeistyColl · 18/12/2017 14:04

Perhaps she has a Christmas card list and spelled your name incorretly that first time. When she writes her cards she refers to her list and not the card you sent last year. Very easliy done.

My niece has a name that can be spelled 2 ways. I have friends with a daughter with the same name spelled the alternative way. I really hope I have always written them correctly but I couldn't swear that I have because sometimes you write almost automatically.

FlouncyDoves · 18/12/2017 14:04

There are far more important things bags to get worried about in life

gabsdot · 18/12/2017 14:05

I got a Christmas card from my cousin. It was addressed to me, DH and my brother's 2 kids........
Presumably, my kids were included in the card to my brother.

FlouncyDoves · 18/12/2017 14:05

Where did the ‘bags’ come from?!

MikeUniformMike · 18/12/2017 14:05

Some people can't spell. Let it go.

AutumnDragon · 18/12/2017 14:06

My cousin always puts my name, my EX's name and my son's name - even though I got shot of him 24 years ago and have been married to husband (and DS's father) for 22 years! What is worse is she addresses envelope to Mr & Mrs DH's initial and surname! She only started this about 10 years ago as well, so I'm not sure what it is all about, but this is the only contact I have with her so I let it ride!

Nomad86 · 18/12/2017 14:06

My sister once spelled my married surname, road name, town name and postcode wrong. I'd been married three years.

FeistyColl · 18/12/2017 14:07

"very rude" ?? Blimey you are easily offended

Tantpoke · 18/12/2017 14:10

My neighbour down the road spells my name wrong every year, I have told her my correct name on numerous occasions but I guess she has a Christmas list she sticks to copying.

I dont mind at all because I think she's lovely and we have great chats, she always buys the kids a little something for Christmas and even sent us a postcard from a recent trip abroad.
We are a lovely communal road of all ages and so long as people are friendly I couldn't care less if they remember my name or not (it's quite an unusual name so I'm kind of used to people not getting it over the yeas)

SandyDenny · 18/12/2017 14:27

This wouldn't bother me at all, I'm not so self absorbed that I expect my neighbours, or anyone else really to know how to spell my name.

Too little to worry about springs to mind.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 18/12/2017 14:29

My aunt has spelt my surname wrong my entire life! I'm 50 FFS. Xmas Confused

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/12/2017 14:35

Mind you I'm bleating on about my neighbours misspelling my name, but my uncle calls Emma for some reason.
He even rights it on cards. I gave up correcting him years ago, plus Emmas a nicer name that clare, in any case

ShovellerDuck · 18/12/2017 14:35

My cousin’s child has a common name but they spelled it in a ridiculous way, doubling letters so it is twice as long as normal.
I always spell it the simple way as I feel sorry for the child.

honeylulu · 18/12/2017 14:37

Some people are crap at spelling and/ or think it doesn't matter.
A few people however I actually think prefer a different spelling and decide to impose it because their way is right! I'm known by an abbreviated version of my name - similar to Ellie (but not actually that) .
One of the partners in our department consistently spells it wrong ("Elly") despite the fact that its spelt differently in my email signature and numerous other docs. We've worked together for nearly 10 years and do a job which requires high attention to detail. He would never in a million years get a client's name wrong. I've concluded he just disapproves of how I spell my name.
I don't really care though.

ASDismynormality · 18/12/2017 14:38

My inlaws have spelt my name incorrectly recently on a couple of cards- DH and I have been together for 18 years so I know they are being passive aggressive. I just ignore it!

inlectorecumbit · 18/12/2017 14:41

For the last 30 years we get a card with the wrong surname on it. It is meant for us ...our name ends in ***son, despite being told it is still happening. We just laugh at it now as we know who its from without opening the envelope

TheFallenMadonna · 18/12/2017 14:42

It really isn't very rude for a neighbour who writes your name once a year to spell it wrong.

tellitlikeitispls · 18/12/2017 14:42

MIL does this. Adds an 'e' on the end where there isn't one. FFS.

honeylulu · 18/12/2017 14:43

I should say I have some (limited) sympathy for those who disapprove of oddly spelt names, although I'd never go so far as to correct them.
My SIL's name is Anne but she insists on calling herself Ana (we're in the uk so it would usually be Anna and pronounced the same, but she thinks it looks more exotic and interesting).
I also know someone called Rupert who abbreviates it to "Rou". WTF? Why not "Ru"? There's no "o" in Rupert FFS!

CMOTDibbler · 18/12/2017 14:44

I have a colleague who always spells my name (for example) as Julia rather than Julie even when replying to an email

And, after 20 years of marriage, the ILs all still address cards to Mr +Mrs Hisname when I have never used that name and ds is myname-hisname. Drives me bonkers

TeachesOfPeaches · 18/12/2017 14:47

You’re being pathetic OP. Lots of people spell my name wrong (s in the middle instead of less common c). It hardly matters unless it’s your passport.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/12/2017 14:47

One of my dearest friends spells my name with an incorrect 'e' at the end every time. It's almost at the point where I feel like I should spell it that way in emails and cards to her so I don't upset her! I just see at as a quirk now and it makes me smile. If I was someone I didn't like so much it might annoy me. I've got an unusual name though so am used to people getting it wrong Grin

MysweetAudrina · 18/12/2017 14:48

Our neighbours are living next door to us for over 3 years. Last weekend I heard dh talking to the neighbouring dh. He called him Derek 3 times during the conversation. His name is not Derek. I asked dh if he always called him Derek and he said yes as it was his name. I told him what his actual name was.