Spelling someone's name wrong on Christmas card every year

[mydogisthebest]

Mr and DH and neighbour have been giving each other cards for about 10 years now. Every year without fail she spells my name wrong.

My name can only be spelt 2 ways, with an e or without an e. It's not difficult. Does she not read the card we put through her door to see that I don't spell it the way she writes it?

I know it is silly but it really winds me up. If people don't know me very well then I accept they may spell it wrong and the first year she gave a card I was ok with it. Since then I have not been ok with it.

Mind you she also writes DH's name first and then mine. I was taught that you always put the woman's name first and then the man's.

Not a card but the mum of one of ds's friends always spells my name wrong when she texts me always Hi Kathrine (not my name) when she has me on fb Cathrine I do not understand it surely she must see. It has been 2 years.

The livery yard owner always spelt my name Helan - for nearly 10 years! Even though I would correct it on everything she wrote it on. In the end I think she did it on purpose to wind me up! LOL!

I’m 35 and my nan has never spelled my name right. It’s Amy btw!

Tiny irritation in the grand scheme of things imo.

Oh, also my aunt has never been able to spell my mums surname right - she changed it 40 years ago!

I think it does matter. I see Ann and Anne as two different names. I know several Anns and Annes. If it was MIL getting it wrong then it would NBU to get annoyed but if it's NDN then I'd just let it go.

I also think of Jane and Jayne, Clare and Claire, Catherine and Katharine, Iain and Ian, Steven and Stephen etc as different names too. Just the way I think I suppose.

I know a Linzi and was quite surprised when I found out that her real name was Lindsay.

Well, talking of which, one of used to get our neighbour Ann's name wrong.

Thing is, she got called 'Diane'. Which, when you think about it, sounds like a threat.

My great aunt, on my dads side still send my mum a Christmas card even though they divorced many years ago. Every year she spells it wrong, and has done for the last 40+ years. It’s never the same spelling 2yrs in a row.

DD1’s name is always spelt wrong, despite being the most recognised spelling of her name. A couple of times she’s had a Z instead of an S in it. It’s always been the way since she started school.

DD2’s name can be spelt in several different ways and her name is always spelt correctly.

I’ve even had my name spelt wrong. It’s a 4 letter common as anything name I was a bit confused at that one tbh.

I used to have a friend called Felicia and always spelt it Felitia.

We were quite surprised when we discovered she thought it was an intentional joke, and I didn't know I was misspelling it.

Hope she's not on mumsnet

People seem to divide into two camps, the "Who cares, I wouldn't, don't get het up" brigade and the "It's rude and disrespectful" camp.

I have an unusually spelled name. Guess which one I fall into!

I don't particularly mind if people spell my name incorrectly on cards. I have an unusual name so am used to it. I do try to spell other people's names correctly but hope they would be forgiving if I did get one wrong. The other year I spent ages trying to find the name of my friend's 3rd child to add him to their card, it is hard to keep up.

Mind you one of my husband's relatives clearly remembers that I have an unusual name but not which one it is, as she writes it to a different 'wife' each year, this year I was 'Fern', which is a lovely name but not mine! It doesn't upset me as it is not someone I am close to and it is nice they make an effort to keep in touch.

Our neighbours think DH and I are called our DC's names and the DC are called our names. We've been here 7 years now - we are way too late to set them straight!

but they think we've got a small boy called Steve

Most of DP’s family spell my name wrong, even after 30 years. I know it’s not the biggest of deals, but I do think it’s rude; names are a very personal thing, it should be common courtesy to spell someone else’s name as they do.

I get this loads - its stopped bothering me for the most part - save for when I get an email response and the email below it from me has my name correctly spelt

My name is commonly abbreviated from a longer name this Jess from Jessica but my birth name is Jess. Not Jessica.

EVERY YEAR DH's family write 'Dear and Jessica'. They might as well call me Tallulah. It's not my name. It grinds my gears so badly.

Yes she is only my neighbour but surely if you are going to bother to write a card out to someone you make sure you spell their name right?

Yes, but sometimes it's the difference between getting a card with your name spelled wrong and not getting one at all because the sender faffed about so long trying to find out how you spell your name (among all the other things they had to do around Christmas time) that they never got round to sending it. I have done that before.

I do my best with names (but its the Isabelles/ Isobels/ Isabels/ Isobelles that are a challenge) but it's the nicknames that do me in. Is she Ally or Aly, Becky or Becki, Millie or Milly, Vicky or Vicki -that's just a few of the ones I struggle with every year. Sometimes I end up thinking sod it, and send the card anyway.

I have a friend who consistently spells my son's name the way it would be spelt if it were a girl's name and it doesn't bother me particularly!

It's irritating I agree. It's like being called Rose and someone always calling you Rosie even if that's not your name and you don't use the diminutive. It happens to me a lot when people reply to emails I send.

ATTENTION TO DETAIL!

But equally I was on a work placement once and kept calling this guy x when he was y. He corrected me several times and I STILL got it wrong so really sometimes names stick wrongly for whatever reasons.

Let it go.

My dh aunty put a cheque in the card to get the boys Something made out to me and spelt my name wrong

People often get my name wrong.
It depends how wrong as to whether it annoys me.
Completely wrong but a nice name and it's sweet. Slightly wrong to make it a man's name pisses me off.
Completely wrong to a horrible name - pisses me right off.

e.g. Frances spelt Francis annoying.
Fanny instead of Frances really annoying.
Francesca instead of Frances really annoying.
Clare instead of Frances odd but sweet.

Apologies to any Fannys Francises and Francescas out there. My name isn't Frances, just giving an example.

I worked with a guy who never once got my name right. Along the lines of Elizabeth but known to everyone as Liz, and he called me Lizzie for three years. I gave up after a while.

I find it really rude even though I had to double check with DH how his mum spelled her name every birthday and christmas for five years

One of my colleagues has given DH a different name on our Christmas card every year since I started! He's Laurence, goes by Laurie...the first year she called him Harry, last year Lars, and this year we're joking that she gave up entirely because he's down as John It doesn't bother him, they've only met a few times, actually he looks forward to seeing what name he's going to have each time!

You're very lucky if this is all you have to give so much head-space and thought to. People have been spelling my name wrong my whole life(even family members), it doesn't bother me. She's only a neighbour, she probably doesn't give a shit how you spell your name.

Happens to me all the time. The only people who put the right name for me on a regular basis are my mum's family. Think Annie instead on Ann for the rest of the world. I am beyond caring. DH and I have been together for over a decade and most of his family still get it wrong. They are also convinced my birthday is two weeks after it is and I don't bother correcting them anymore. I just appreciate the gesture.

The only impact it has on me is to make me determined to spell everyone else's name right. DH doesn't get why I care so much, when I ask which Auntie is Jayne & which is Jane for example. He also refuses to accept that I am spelling his cousin's DCs' names correctly (think uncommon Irish names) and doesn't get why I make the effort. He has a really common name with one common spelling and he contracts it to it's most obvious shortening, think Daniel & Dan.

Oh come off it, coffee, we can all give head-space to a number of things. And this is a forum for people to say/ponder/debate things that they might not do in real life. Including things that others might find trivial or pointless.

XH's old cow of an aunt told me that since she had never heard of my name, it couldn't exist and so she called me something else that began and ended with the same letters but was not my name. Oddly enough, she was able to address my DM by her name - despite the fact I was called after her!

I do have an unusual spelling of my name. I then cursed DD2 with an unusual spelling of her name.

This drives me mad! I have a friend who I’ve known for several years who cannot spell my name right. I worked with her for 3 years, wearing a name badge every day, plus she has me on fb where, surprisingly enough, my name is spelt correctly. Got a Christmas card at the weekend and name is spelt wrong (think Cath/Kath). I’ve corrected her so many times now it’s getting embarrass so I don’t bother anymore, but I have a bit of an inward grump about it!

In her head your name is spelled with the E. I’m sure when she is writing out 70 cards she is not concerned with the “weird” spelling of the minority, she’s just trying to make sure she remembers everyone.

Don’t overthink this, my mother could never spell my daughters name correctly ever. My daughter is 25 and her name is Sarah. She has had card and gifts from her gm addressed to Shara, Sharha, Saraha, Sarha amonst other misspellings.

I do understand it’s irritating, but it’s not worth spending any time on it now, anyway it’s a tradition you and your neighbours now have, I bet you’d be a little bit sad if you opened your card one day and she spelled it Tracy rather than Tracey.