DP 'secret' social media profile

[bumblingbum]

NC for this one.

My partner of 10 years has never had any form of social media. He says it's a waste of time and pointless. The other day to my surprise I came across a photo on Instagram posted by a local business. Think along the lines of 'Another happy customer') and he was tagged in it so has his own profile.

I messaged him saying that I didn't realise he was on Instagram and he said he created the account 'ages' ago and that he doesn't use it at all. Fine. Whatever.

Now this is where I've been out of order...I've logged in to his profile. (Local business posted his username and I was able to guess his password.) No idea why I felt the need to snoop. I suppose because it's out of character for him as he has previously been against social media. I just find the whole thing a bit odd.

He's only posted 3 photos and they're of his new car- fine. What's weirding me out is that he's followed a Mum that I recognise from the school run. She's also followed him back and I remember him pointing her n the playground a few weeks ago saying he used to be friends with her and she's a really nice person. He's also followed a few other women (I assume that he knows from before we met) and some men too (so not just women) but not me!? He knows I use it a lot. He's set his profile to private too.

Also he said he created it ages and never uses it but it was actually only 3 weeks ago but from his activity he seems to be fairly active on it! I know I shouldn't have violated his privacy and logged in to his account but I just feel somethings a bit odd. Why is he saying he doesn't use it when he does?

Maybe I need to just forget it

*Because he probably doesn't want to face "20 Questions" about every photo he likes or posts & every person he follows.

He probably finds it all quite draining*

How is he now the victim? I should think being lied to is quite draining for the OP

And yeah, if my DP started social media, lied about it and only added exes and women on the school run I'd be asking some pretty pointed questions.

Yeah PiffleandWiffle, it's clearly the woman's fault for being such a nag. That's why her DP is lying to her and seeking out women online. Poor little fella!!!

With women like some of you we don't need bloody enemies!

I should think being lied to is quite draining for the OP

She only knows he's lying because she's stolen his password & is sneaking around behind his back as well - they deserve each other!!

Has he finished his bath yet OP? He'll be all pruney by now.

Waiting with bated breath for the next instalment....

What on earth happened to “innocent until proven guilty” ? Some of you on here are so busy man hairig that you are happy to ignore what the op is doing which is also bad if not worse.

She only knows he's lying because she's stolen his password & is sneaking around behind his back as well - they deserve each other!!

Didn't bother to read the very first paragraph of the OP then?

what happened?!

There is only one reason I'd open a secret sm account and like and follow a few people of the opposite sex... If I was interested in shagging them.

Sancerresanwine That’s you... not everyone else. He also follows men but I guess that doesn’t matter because a man cannot possibly follow a woman to be nosey without wanting to get his dick wet

It is not normal to open an Instagram, add exes and school mums and then lie to you about it. I don't care what anyone else says it is hugely abnormal behaviour
^
What they said.

Hope you're okay OP

It is not normal to open an Instagram, add exes and school mums and then lie to you about it. I don't care what anyone else says it is hugely abnormal behaviour

Especially when not getting on with your DP. Then after lying some more of it sitting dormant changing the password only hours after his dp probes for the second time on it..

I asked him again when he got out the bath last night. He said I should stop going on about it because he's already told me twice that he doesn't use it. I then told him what I had done (accessed his account) and had seen for myself that he does use it. We then had an argument about me invading his privacy (fair point). He told me how out of order I had been etc. I then asked him why he was following these other women and he basically told me I was looking too far into things and shouldn't be so paranoid then went to bed. No further on really.

Or went to bed to bitch to OW that you are onto him.
Fancy just dismissing like that

I e called him twice today. No answer

How are you feeling about it all?

If it's nothing, if you're looking too far into something that is no big deal, then why lie? Regardless of what he is or isnt doing, you know categorically that he has lied to you about something that is at best case a pointless thing to hide.

It sounds to me as though he is feeling insecure in your relationship, OP - sometimes when people feel that way they go looking for links with people who have made them feel good about themselves in the past, and that usually means exes or similar. It doesn't mean he is cheating, or thinking about it, but it might mean he feels as though you and he aren't connecting the way you should be (which is basically what you've said).

He hasn't, at this stage, done anything unforgivable, but you do need to get off MN and have an honest and kind conversation with him.

oh it doesnt look good for him. do you think he might be planning to leave, therefore establishing new/old connections while still in relationship so he has women lined up when single? monkey-branching i think its referred to..

Didn't bother to read the very first paragraph of the OP then?

ODFOD, OK - rather than stealing it, she guessed it - it still doesn't make the sneaking around any better.

They're both as bad as each other - I reckon the OP'll be out on her arse at this rate....

he basically told me I was looking too far into things

Aye right, he's looking to far into his history!

And he's quite to say you're invading his privacy when he's been lying?

'They're both as bad as each other - I reckon the OP'll be out on her arse at this rate....'

Doubt that

He's a liar be it by omission or otherwise

ODFOD, OK - rather than stealing* it, she guessed it - it still doesn't make the sneaking around any better.

They're both as bad as each other - I reckon the OP'll be out on her arse at this rate....*

Blimey, you're militant aren't you.

The OP asked the DP and he lied in the first instance, hence why she felt the need to look into it.

And nah, when your partner lies to you it's not your fault if you look for the truth, don't be so ridiculous and victim blamey.

No idea why I felt the need to snoop. from the OP

HTH

Gut feeling perhaps

That's what made me do similar and wham!!there it all was to behold.

Years ago but remember it well

I also guess worked pass the passwords Op and thank goodness I bloody did.