To not recognise Christmas on Mumsnet?

[Kikisxmas]

I love reading all of the Christmas threads but more than ever this year I can't relate to much of it. I'm not slating anyone's way of doing things btw, it just seems that the norm here is not what I know and experience in real life at all.

Some examples;

Not visiting family at Christmas- I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends.

Minimal gifts for dc- it sometimes seems like a competition on here, who can spend the least/buy the least for their dc. There's definitely some snobbery about those of us who buy lots of presents and the assumption it's tat. I'm not including those who can't spend much here btw.

Christmas Eve boxes/elf on the shelf/stockings- Again I've seen so many posts, some pretty nasty derisive comments to those who participate.

Giving random essentials for Christmas- A mattress and a potty are the standout ones for me this year.

So is it just me!? Like I said I'm not bitching about those who do things differently, I understand some people aren't big on Christmas, don't like it for personal reasons, don't like the commercialism etc.

Not looking for a bunfight, just curious about how your Christmas is and if it fits the mn norm?

I quite like a bit of vulgarity. Lights and bling is all good. But I am uneasy with just how much as a society we are being pushed towards. And it is easy to say that you can opt out but the truth is, it’s increasingly hard to do so.

I love having family round/going to family for Christmas.
Last year it was just DH, me and baby DS and it was a bit lonely honestly..(FIL was working, DM was in Italy with my ill Nonna).

We are having a big family Christmas in Italy this year and I can’t wait.

We try to go to mass either Christmas Eve in the evening, for midnight mass, or on Christmas morning. My favourite is midnight mass.

I’m not sure about the elf myself, I think maybe because it takes away from advent (but obviously advent isn’t a thing for everyone)
One thing we do as a family ‘tradition’ I say write Amnesty Christmas cards for prisoners...DH and I used to run the AI society at uni.

We don’t many presents...DS will get a present from both sets of grandparents plus his uncles and maybe a few other relatives...he doesn’t need lots from us.

Adults get a little token gift too because it’s nice to have something to open...eg a new cookbook and some chocolate.

What is an Xmas Eve box? This has passed menu totally?

Well I am a Grandma and just love spoiling my 4 Granddaughters.I have had to back away from Amazon now as I think enough is enough.

Everyone does Christmas differently and who is in a perfect place to judge others?

For example, I dont get the idea of being alone on Xmas day will be crushingly lonely but for others they cant understand not seeing every relative within driving distance.

Everyone is difference.

Op You forgot the terminally smug who buy a oxfam goat for their over indulged kids as it teaches them to be kind and charitable whilst they themselves open their £200 jo malone candle.

We definitely spend Christmas with family -
in fact we always do 2 Christmasses, one with the ILs in my adopted country and one with my family back in the UK. We travel to the UK every year without fail to have Christmas with my family, and my siblings and their OHs always join. That's kind of the whole point, imo.

But we do get very few pressies for DCs as they get so many from the family (the only GCs/DNs on both sides), and we don't do stockings due to logistics. We def don't do Christmas Eve boxes and bloody Elf on the Shelf can do one. My family does a 20 quid Secret Santa for the adults as not all of us are that flush. And we often ask for practical presents - this year I requested a salad spinner and a power bank. I'd rather have stuff I'll make use of regularly - none of us are really into 'luxury' items.

are we on the same board OP?

I think essential type gifts are different for adults, I'd much rather receive something I'd use rather than something gifty.

@cantspell oh yes can't forget those. What better way to teach the dc about charity

OP, I'm glad you clarified that you meant spending Christmas at home by choice, because " I don't know anybody who doesn't spend Christmas/part of Christmas with family or friends" is salt in the wound for some of us.

I'm estranged from my family, and I don't have children. I'm lucky that I'll be spending Christmas with friends but I'm sure there are many people in a similar situation as regards family who won't be spending any part of Christmas with others.

For me Christmas is a primarily religious festival and I find it a great comfort to attend church.

Here in the NE you will find a lot of people spending a lot of money on their kids at Christmas. My NCT friends all have good professional jobs and are mostly from other countries or the South and spend far less on Christmas. It’s just a regional thing I think.
I don’t know but I would hazard a guess that Liverpudlians spend a lot on their kids at Christmas too as the areas have a lot of similarities.

I have no idea what class I am but we do get our kids a decent amount of presents but don’t go into debt. We book at number of xmas experiences too, not too many due to the fear or illness or bad weather stopping us from getting there.

I do a Christmas Eve box. Always have just because the kids love it. I’d be buying them new pyjamas anyway so it’s no extra cost.

People round here do tend to spend their Christmas Day with their close family. We certainly always have xmas day with Mam, stepdad. It varies though as we sometimes have it with up to 18 cousins, aunties etc.

It's hard to know what will delight kids though. My toddler dd's favourite possession is her cat wellies.

Yes @spartacus I did clarify in my second or third post but I should have included it in my op.

We're seeing MIL, her other grandchildren and their Mam for a teaparty and the panto on 23rd, then MIL is coming here on 28th for a mini Christmas Day (we'll exchange gifts then between ourselves, I cook a full Christmas dinner, eat sweets, watch a cheesy film).

I've done DS (21 months) a Christmas Eve box, but it's not gifts as such, it's things for us to do together on the day (some make your own Christmas decorations, a colour your own mug and some glittery crayons all from PoundToy.com a packet of 30p baloons, and a bottle of 50p bubbles becausehe loves them). I'll also put in his new PJs so he'll look smart in the Christmas pictures (Primark, and they'll do him until he outgrows them, not just be worn for Christmas), the Santa plate and glass a friend made him for his 1st Christmas last year, his stocking (again from last year), and I've made wildlife friendly reindeer dust.

Christmas morning will be just the three of us at home, we'll then go to DMs once DS has opened his gifts from us/Santa (DM and I do dinner between us, but her flat is bigger than our house). He's got one main gift (a puppet theatre), three littler gifts, and a grotesquely huge stack of books. He's got some stocking filler bits like paints, some new felt tips, a selection pack etc). I think I've spend the same if not more on books than I have on the other gifts I have issues

We've not spent a fortune, because we haven't got it to spend. I shop throughout the year, and put bits away. I also buy supermarket savings stamps for the food shop. I've not gone into debt for Christmas before now, but see how that goes when he's big enough to write a list full of toys that cost £60-£100 each

I love hearing about how others' do Christmas. The only thing I wince at, is people maxing out cards and catalogue accoutns to buy a massive stack of gifts. I don't judge the gifts, each to their own, but the stress of paying off the debt, just to run it up again for next year would stress me too much. We have debts, but they've come about from essential things needing paying for coinciding with a lack of funds I still haven't forgiven you for breaking down on nappy wash day ex-washing machine you utter bastard!!

We stay at home Christmas Day. It's lovely
I don't want to get in a car and travel to see extended family. Fuck that. Christmas Day at home is the dogs

I don't recognise the Santa angst that you often see here in real-life Christmas. People just do it, no one is traumatised when they find out what the script really is, and so it goes on.

Armadillo style Christmas involves:

1. Centered around religion. We're regular Mass goers anyway, so this continues through Advent. We haven't been to Midnight Mass since the DC have been born (eldest is almost 5) so hopefully we'll be able to reintroduce that in a couple of years. Lots of talk about doing charitable acts during Advent, etc.
2. Seeing lots of family. On Christmas Day my side come to us in the morning and we then go down to PILs in the afternoon. We'll probably also see my lot on the 24th, and see PILs on the 26th.
3. We do Santa
4. We don't do the full sofa of gifts. Santa brings a few things, but not for some worthy reason, and more because both sets of grandparents give them lots of gifts each so we don't want to go overboard ourselves and overwhelm them (both currently under 5). We've also been taking advantage of them not wanting expensive stuff as much as we can. SIL is the opposite and gets into debt to give a sofa full to both DNs.
5. Adults give gifts too. And enjoy doing it!
6. Shop bought chocolate calendars for the DC. No elves. No Christmas Eve boxes. Plenty of traditions of our own though - Friday night Christmas film nights, baking together.
7. Daft things often go in stockings - like a new toothbrush. Because it's funny.

You can't generalise though - we probably won't leave the house on Christmas Day either, but that's because we've no family within 80 miles. Having dozens of relatives within the same area is totally alien to me.

We don't do sofas full of presents- one "main" present per child and smaller things. Main meal around 5.

Most of our family live within about 20 minutes of each other so it's easy to get together, those that live further afield we spend time with before or after Christmas.

We did think about spending the day just me dh and dc but I was worried it wouldn't feel like Christmas. We host most years, I'd probably feel differently if it meant travelling or being away from home for more than a few hours.

This is the first year that dc are old enough to get the whole Christmas thing a bit so I probably have taken more notice of the Christmas posts this year.

Our norm is Christmas Eve take away and new Pyjama s
Now teens they go to pub but before this we all went to local pub with other local families and sang carols and drank port and wine
We always have a stocking on c mas am and Buck's Fizz
We have Christmas dinner mid aft or if guests Boxing Day and go to neighbours teatime and then family film
On Boxing Day my d f used to come and I did

Christmas dinner with all the trimmings presents and games and a walk
He has sadly passed away and I'm glad we had this tradition as he seemed to love it
We often go to a friends and have a buffet and food and music
As for gifts
Our teens like to get stuff they can't normally afford such as addidas trainers , vans , nice hoodies , bags , make up / aftershave with a few things added like booze and chocs and tiny suprizes .
We limit to max 250 each esp as we are supporting both thro uni and Christmas is mostly the time to treat them
. Dh and I do small tokens .

The weird thing we do is write lists, we're all adults too. We all get things we want and need for Christmas and no one gets a shit gift. It also reduces the amount of waste and tat. DP thinks it's mad but then his family are bigger and all buy each other cheap tat, which I think is mad. I'd rather have nothing.

I've never done elf on the shelf (creepy fucker) or had a Christmas Eve box.

I don’t understand the people saying they don’t spend much on their dc’s (just a couple small gifts) and then there are people on other threads asking what they can buy their great aunt for around £100 and saying they spend £50+ on adult presents.

I love buying for people but Christmas is more about children, no way would I spend huge amounts on adult relatives whilst skimping on my own children.

For me, memories of Christmas include visiting family that we hadn’t seen all year, I loved visiting family, it was probably the only time we went out as a family (with my mum and dad together). Christmas Day we always stayed at home but had family over. The run up to Christmas was much better than the actual day.