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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you call a land line at 9.30pm?

248 replies

Tinkerbec · 16/12/2017 21:34

Someone has just called my home for my mother who is out. Waking up my dd.

I think it is way too late. I know its a Saturday but really!AIBU?

I find land lines intrusive at the best of times.
Grrrr! Not happy.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 16/12/2017 22:21

Why not after 9pm Pavlovian? Are the adults you know in bed after 9?

danTDM · 16/12/2017 22:21

You are not supposed to call after 9.30pm except in an emergency

Gwenhwyfar · 16/12/2017 22:22

"You are not supposed to"

Um, says who? You're not supposed to call after the average bed time. That's not 9.30.

crunchymint · 16/12/2017 22:23

Up till 10pm unless I know they go to bed early. Up to 11pm for my parents.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 16/12/2017 22:23

10pm and after that text and phone if they're still up.My mum and I are night owls and will chat in bed.

PeonyBucket · 16/12/2017 22:24

People phoned, children somehow slept through it

I remember, as a child, I used to find the household noise downstairs very comforting and soporific. If the phone rang and woke me, my mother's voice droning on would put me right back to sleep. In the nicest possible way.

LadyLapsang · 16/12/2017 22:25

I would ring until about 21.45 unless the person was ill or if I knew they worked shifts and got up at about 5am. I find it strange when adults who aren't ill go to bed so early. Fot those with a mobile and good coverage I would text / message.

danTDM · 16/12/2017 22:26

DeBretts I think, it's social ettiqette. Grin

I think after 9.30 is rude, I am often in bed at 10pm

TalkinBoutWhat · 16/12/2017 22:28

After 8 is chillin time?! Confused Gawd, we never used to get home from work until around 8 pm. Noone would have ever called us.

I think your bodyclock is out. In the scheme of a person's life, the time they have young children who are in bed before 9 is relatively short. The rest of the world keep going later than that.

Snowman41 · 16/12/2017 22:30

You are not supposed to call after 9.30pm except in an emergency

Is this some sort of law that we don't know about or are you trying to present your opinion as fact Confused

Stickerrocks · 16/12/2017 22:31

We regularly get calls until 10pm on our landline. I call my parents until 9.30 knowing that my elderly mum is in bed soon after. Calls between 10pm & 7am are for emergencies. DH only looks at his mobile when he's at work and I usually keep mine in my office in the evenings unless DD is out & about. Any texts can wait.

Dogsmom · 16/12/2017 22:32

I work from home, my hours are 9 til 4 and have been for over 20 years yet I'm always getting calls from customers at antisocial hours, the earliest has been 6.30am and the latest 10.45pm, even on Sundays.

Judydreamsofhorses · 16/12/2017 22:32

Our landline isn’t even plugged in. If we didn’t need it for broadband we wouldn’t have it at all.

Viviennemary · 16/12/2017 22:32

No I wouldn't usually. Unless I knew that person wouldn't mind and wouldn't think it strange for somebody to be calling at that hour. And certainly not if I thought there would be young children asleep. YANBU. I'm under 70 and have a landline. I thought it was only younger people like say under 30's that have done away with landlines. I'll be sad to see them go.

danTDM · 16/12/2017 22:32

Oh Christ, this is the third thread I have posted on tonight that s met with such disdain,

I'll leave you to it.

Social etiquette says not after 9.30, that's all Hmm No, it is not law.

mydogisthebest · 16/12/2017 22:33

Well me and DH don't go to bed until midnight and just about all of our family and friends go to bed quite late but I wouldn't ring someone on a landline or mobile after about 8.30 unless it was urgent.

My DH is self employed and some of his customers seem to think it is ok to phone or even come to the house any time of the day and any day of the week. I get really annoyed when it is at the weekend or before 9am or after 8.30pm. It's just rude

Stickaforkinimdone · 16/12/2017 22:33

You’ve got a landline? How very twee! 😂

PeonyBucket · 16/12/2017 22:35

The rest of the world keep going later than that

Is that the issue though? I keep going much later than 9pm but I'd prefer people not to ring me after that time. For example, if I'd only got in from work at 8pm there'd be stuff to do, like eating and having some peace and quiet. Unless it was an important call I'd want to keep it short.

Gwenhwyfar · 16/12/2017 22:35

"DeBretts I think, it's social ettiqette. grin"

DeBretts is for posh people. Not relevant to the majority.

Gwenhwyfar · 16/12/2017 22:36

"but I wouldn't ring someone on a landline or mobile after about 8.30 unless it was urgent."

Why not if they're not in bed?

Snowman41 · 16/12/2017 22:37

Oh Christ, this is the third thread I have posted on tonight that s met with such disdain,

I wonder why.....

You can't say 'you are not supposed to' as if it's an absolute fact, when actually it's just your own thoughts.

daisychain01 · 16/12/2017 22:37

People have become so used to 24/7 connectivity, they can't fathom out that people want a bit of peace and quiet in the comfort of their own home in the evening without leaping up to answer the phone, when they could be ready for bed by 930. It's sad that people don't get the need for privacy and consideration, it just isn't on their radar.

And equating bedtime to someone's age is unbelievably dumb, as if age matters. What about shift workers, people who need to be out of the house at 6am, people who just like bedtime at 9pm

I wouldnt dream of calling my DM after 8pm because I know her routine is to sit down after dinner and watch her favourite TV programme.

The question is no different to asking "how long is a piece of string?" because it's always going to depend on what the call is about, how important/urgent it is, who the person is, what their routine is etc.

danTDM · 16/12/2017 22:40

My OPINION is not after 9.30pm. My OPINION.

Is that OK everyone? I am not posh, however it is backed up by social etiquette, like weddings, babies, invitations, Christmas parties that sort of thing. Hope that's ok.

scaryteacher · 16/12/2017 22:40

Stickafork and Glitterlips Many of us grew up with landlines and without mobiles, as , gasp. they didn't exist. Thus, I find a landline essential and can take or leave the mobile. I think mine is currently on the dining table and I might remember to charge it tomorrow. It ran out of charge a couple of days ago. When I lived in the UK I needed the landline as there was no mobile signal where I lived. It still isn't brilliant, as I saw when I was back last week to look at my house.

My dh calls me up to 0100 if he's away, and at about 0700 to say hallo. My Mum calls up tp 2200, and my ds frequently calls at past midnight, as does my bil.

caringcarer · 16/12/2017 22:40

I think it depends how well you know a person. Someone I don't know well or elderly up to 9.0pm but my sisters I would call at 9.30 pm if I felt it could not wait until morning.