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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH pissed off that I won't drink and drive

74 replies

Sanshin · 16/12/2017 00:30

I posted yesterday saying I'd agreed to pick DH up from works night out but changed my mind. General consensus was that I was BU but a few said "just ask if he minds".

So I asked him "do you definately want picking up as I'm going to get a bottle of wine otherwise". (He has form for arranging a pick up and then not getting in touch and making his own way home). He said "don't worry about it, I'll get a taxi". He even admitted that he wouldn't want to pick me up if tables were turned.
Map he books a taxi for 11pm no problem. I sit down with bottle of wine and a film.

Midnight he texts asking me to pick him up otherwise he has to walk (well over an hours walk). Clearly missed the taxi. I explained that I've drank half a bottle of wine and he says "you'll be ok if you're careful"!!!! Now he's in a mood because I've refused to do it.

Clearly I'm nit being unreasonable? Half a bottle of red is way over the limit right?

OP posts:
SadTrombone · 16/12/2017 00:31

YANBU
He's being an idiot

blackteasplease · 16/12/2017 00:32

Yanbu at all defo don't do It!

SassySausageSupper · 16/12/2017 00:32

Definitely do not drive. Arrange another taxi for him.

Cynara · 16/12/2017 00:35

Yes. It is over the limit. So you're right not to drive. Having read your previous thread though, I'm not sure why it's developed into this drama, because you could have just collected him (sober) as agreed. There seems to be an awful lot of palaver over a Christmas night out's transport arrangements.

liverbird10 · 16/12/2017 00:35

He's a prat.

Original poster
Sanshin · 16/12/2017 00:35

He's a bastard when he's drunk so no doubt I'll be in for it when he gets in. We agreed, he knew I'd be drinking ffs.

OP posts:
Originalfoogirl · 16/12/2017 00:36

no doubt I'll be in for it when he gets in.
WTAF?

Sounds like you’ve got bigger problems than him wanting you to drink and drive.

itsbetterthanabox · 16/12/2017 00:40

Why doesn’t he just get an Uber?

Iloveacurry · 16/12/2017 00:43

He’s a knob.

BunsOfAnarchy · 16/12/2017 00:45

"Sorry babe, not risking my license, I've ordered you a taxi".

That should do it. Just remember he's drink right now which means he is in prat mode and you won't be able to reason with him.

Or

Get in a cab and grab him if u have to, just let him assume your driving by saying "on my way"

bbcessex · 16/12/2017 00:47

I read your your post yesterday about suggesting you pick him up and then regretting it.

I think you need to have a frank discussion when you're both sober.

It's not a good sign that he's like this nor you expect//accept it.

blackteasplease · 16/12/2017 00:49

I'll be for it

That doesn't sound normal at all OP! Does sound like you have much bigger problems than just a lift.

Sprinklestar · 16/12/2017 00:52

Do you mean he's going to assault you when he gets in? If so, get out of there now.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 16/12/2017 00:56

It’s always unreasonable to drink drive, not to mention illegal, so YANBU.

However, considering his reaction and impending mood once he arrives home, not drink driving is the least of your worries - stay safe. X

HellonHeels · 16/12/2017 01:17

You both both sound as though you have issues with alcohol - DH because he's an unreasonable and potentially violent drunk and you because you had to drink at least half a bottle when you could have compromised on one glass with food and still been Ok to stick to your agreement.

That said, the hint of violence is a huge worry, please get away from him if he's going to be violent.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/12/2017 01:21

wo hings.....

Why doesn’t he just get an Uber?

because believe i or not, there are places that done have Uber! I know, mad right?! Must be a desolate barren wasteland out there....ffs Hmm

He's a bastard when he's drunk so no doubt I'll be in for it when he gets in

Can you define "in for it"? If it is what I am thinking, then please keep your phone on you so you can contact the police. Even verbal shite is not acceptable and you can (and should) get him removed.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/12/2017 01:25

You both both sound as though you have issues with alcohol .............you because you had to drink at least half a bottle when you could have compromised on one glass with food and still been Ok to stick to your agreement.

Oh please!

Half a bottle is actually 2 standard pub glasses (17.5 cl). 2 glasses over the course of 6 hours (she dropped him off at 6:30) is hardly "problem drinking".

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/12/2017 01:26

And I never drink a drop if I am driving bwt, so no "one glass with food" would not have me ok to drive as I would not risk it.

roseretro · 16/12/2017 01:32

Why can’t he just book another taxi? Ridiculous twat, he’s only acting like this because he’s had a few. Leave him to sort himself out

HappenedForAReisling · 16/12/2017 01:33

because you had to drink at least half a bottle when you could have compromised on one glass with food and still been Ok to stick to your agreement.

The agreement was that he would get a taxi, and he actually went as far as booking one, as is written in the opening post.

AdalindSchade · 16/12/2017 01:49

@hellonheels don't be ridiculous. Drinking half a bottle of wine when you have no need or plans to drive is perfectly normal.

Op are you ok? Do you want to talk about how he treats you when he has had a drink?

GlitterNails · 16/12/2017 02:03

Only big cities have Uber at the moment.

cloudchasing · 16/12/2017 02:07

So she should have not drunk as much just in case her dh missed his taxi and might need a lift? Confused Fuck that.

Kentnurse2015 · 16/12/2017 02:09

I remember your post OP. YANBU now! I hope you're ok

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/12/2017 02:12

So she should have not drunk as much just in case her dh missed his taxi and might need a lift?

Of course! Clearly the big issue is her having 2 glasses of wine when he got hammered and missed his taxi and not him being abusive when he is a pissed up arsehole Hmm