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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We are a vegan house, meat eater friends over this evening. WIBU to cook a vegan menu?

379 replies

AddictedtoAIBU · 15/12/2017 13:49

Hi all, this is my first AIBU but I'm having a panic.
Non vegan mates over this eve, they always make every effort to accommodate us when we go there but this is their first visit to ours since we are vegan.
Shall I suck it up and cook a corpse or stick with a vegan menu? Would you be offended to eat vegan at a friends as a meat eater?
Thanks in advance if you reply. Could do with a few views...

OP posts:
Nemesia · 15/12/2017 17:36

Some wines are vegan, some are not. The coop are really good at labelling vegan wines. Not really an issue as vegan wine is readily available in all price ranges.

Sashkin · 15/12/2017 17:41

Foogirl off the top of my head, penne arrabiata, vegetable Thai green/red curry, Indian vegetable curry, fennel and lemon risotto, mushroom risotto, vegetable tagine... all vegan or easily made so by leaving out the fish sauce/parmesan.

You can do a lot with potatoes, bread, rice, couscous, vegetables and spices. You don’t have to boil them and serve them plain.

Nemesia · 15/12/2017 17:41

Also for those that were asking many supermarket Thai curry pastes do not contain fish/shrimp so are sfv.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 15/12/2017 17:41

I wouldn’t expect you to cook meat, but I would have to ask you not to give me quorn, lentils or beans (I’m not sure what that leaves!) as my knackered digestive system would object very strongly.

GinIsIn · 15/12/2017 17:41

Wouldn’t be put off by a vegan meal or expecting meat. Harping on about veganism, on the other hand.....

londonrach · 15/12/2017 17:43

Id cook a vegan meal. You vvv strange person saying cooking a copse. I not sure i want to visit someone who thinks like that. Its weird. Its just meat.

scaryteacher · 15/12/2017 17:49

I'd be expecting vegan, but would have eaten first in case you served me anything Thai as I loathe coconut and can't deal with Thai spices/flavours - it all tastes like soap to me.

pog100 · 15/12/2017 17:50

Does no one read a thread at all? The poor OP, who clearly has a lovely sense of humour and thankfully a robust self confidence, has apologised multiple times for the flippant 'corpse' remark and made it abundantly clear, in a very nice light hearted way, that she is not 'one of those' vegans.

AuldHeathen · 15/12/2017 17:51

Nearly 40 years, that is. Drat!

LoniceraJaponica · 15/12/2017 17:52

If I was worried about a meal that was going to be served to me I would ask the host beforehand what they were planning to cook. Why wouldn't you do that scaryteacher?

Although, as a host I would ask my guests what they disliked then wouldn't cook anything they didn't like.

It seems a shame to eat beforehand then not enjoy your evening.

Communication is key.

EDSFI · 15/12/2017 18:01

I would totally expect a vegan meal and be looking forward to it. Just because I eat meat doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy other foods or have to eat meat all the time, through I totally get you wanting to accommodate them like they do you, it’s very kind of you xx

SunnyCoco · 15/12/2017 18:03

@nemesia thanks I didn’t realise this, I’ve got lots of vegan friends and always thought wine was a no-go! Cheers I’ll look Into the co-op

TammySwansonTwo · 15/12/2017 18:03

Honestly, I wouldn't go to a vegan's house for dinner because I would never expect them to be able / willing to cook something I can eat.

For me it's not the lack of meat, it's the substitutes used - I have a severe allergy to nuts and seeds, plus coconut and various other things, so most of the substitutes for dairy etc are not something I can eat. And most vegans would cook with my allergens which would mean I couldn't eat stuff made there.

The point is, this is my problem not someone else's and I would never expect someone who doesn't eat meat and dairy to make me a meal containing those things.

opinionatedfreak · 15/12/2017 18:09

Cook vegan.

My vegan friend always does if I go there - however If she is cooking something that cheese improves e.g.chilli, nachos, homemade pizza she always provides veggie cheese as even she admits vegan cheese can be a bit hard going.

Her partner and children are veggie though so they usually have a mix in the house.

When she comes here I usually cook vegan with veggie accompanients for everyone else (my standard is 3 bean chilli and some kind of vegan cake thing.). So I'll have veggie cheese and normal ice cream to serve alongside vegan cheese and whichever soy based cream/ ice cream accompanient I've picked up in the supermarket.

If we eat out together I unabashedly eat meat if I want to.

NoFucksImAQueen · 15/12/2017 18:13

I'm laughing at everyone get het up over the "cook a corpse" comment. I'm a meat eater but it's true! The definition of corpse is a dead body and that's what meat is.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/12/2017 18:14

A corpse is human
Carcass is animal

JoJoBow · 15/12/2017 18:15

I have ishoos with dairy, so I'ld be delighted with a vegan meal,.

DaisyAdair · 15/12/2017 18:19

We’re vegans and it doesn’t even cross my mind to cook meat or buy chorizo if people come over!

But would you expect meat eaters to cook vegan for you or would you eat meat because they wouldn't think to buy veg?

BertrandRussell · 15/12/2017 18:20

I'm just off to cook a corpse.

But I've got vegan friends coming round tomorrow so I'll cook something vegan for us all then. Versatile, that's me!

IrritatedUser1960 · 15/12/2017 18:22

YANBU, it is your home and your menu. They won't die from eating vegan.

Nelly5678 · 15/12/2017 18:23

Show them the wonders of vegan food!!!!

Don't go cooking corpse, don't go against your ethics!!!

BertrandRussell · 15/12/2017 18:23

"But would you expect meat eaters to cook vegan for you or would you eat meat because they wouldn't think to buy veg?"

Of all the many silly things frequently said on Mumsnet and in rl, this is one of the silliest. Almost, but not quite as silly as "What happens if two people with hyphenated names get together, do they have to have 4 hyphens?"

ginteresting · 15/12/2017 18:25

Simon Rimmers veggie/with vegan options restaurant is amazing. I'm a meat eater but I would be happy and quite excited to try a vegan dish if it's something delicious. If I was served bowl of lentils with with no flavour, I'd get something on the way home. I wouldn't expect hosts to cook meat though.

BertrandRussell · 15/12/2017 18:25

"They won't die from eating vegan."

Is that what the OP meant by cooking a corpse? Blimey- bit extreme, surely?

Ta1kinPeace · 15/12/2017 18:26

I am a confirmed meat eater.
If I go to supper at a Vegan house I expect vegan food (and expect it to be good)
If I go to supper at a vegetarian house I expect vegetarian food.
If I go to supper at a Jewish house I expect kosher
If I go to supper at Muslim house I expect halal

If any of them come to my house I will probably cook vegan (of the eastern mediterranean absolutely yummy variety)
as then everybody enjoys a good meal