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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re finding out sex of baby

65 replies

Mummytea24 · 15/12/2017 13:01

AIBU to ask why those people who do not find out the sex of their baby at the 20 week scan look down their noses at those of us who do?

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 15/12/2017 13:02

Because no matter what anyone does or chooses in life, someone somewhere will judge as a matter of course. Smile

FrostyThirties0 · 15/12/2017 13:03

I’ve done both and no idea what you’re on about. Never heard that at all!

WaitingTillJuly17 · 15/12/2017 13:03

I haven’t found out, my sister is and I’ve managed not to look down my nose at her or anyone else. You on the other hand seem to be tarring everyone with the same brush. YABU.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 15/12/2017 13:06

They don't Confused YABU.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/12/2017 13:06

Nope. No idea what you mean op. Confused

Trappedintheglobe · 15/12/2017 13:07

Oh I totally agree op. Apparently if you find out it's just so you can go pink or blue mad and force gender stereotypes on your child pre birth Confused

I found out, still managed to buy fairly neutral stuff.

There is definitely a snobbishness around finding out.

PotteringAlong · 15/12/2017 13:08

I don’t Hmm

MissDuke · 15/12/2017 13:09

No experience of this either! I am a midwife and have never come across an attitude like this. We didn't find out with any of ours but I don't care whether others do or don't (though personally I get more excited in work when we don't know and I LOVE holding the baby up for the parents to see 'what' it is for themselves

Beansonapost · 15/12/2017 13:09

People do this?

What a thing to look down on, it's really not anyone's business...

What a strange society .

namechangedcantthinkofnewone · 15/12/2017 13:10

I've never had it in RL, but let's be serious, it happens on here all the time. Some people judge if you find out the sex and some judge if you don't.

What does it matter what other people do regarding their baby.

AnonEvent · 15/12/2017 13:10

I judge people who don't find out the sex... because I want to get exited for them, and think of names, and buy marginally sex specific outfits... WHAT ABOUT ME!!

Joking/ not joking.

sausagerollsrock · 15/12/2017 13:11

I told somebody the other day I wouldn't be finding out the sex of my baby and she was horrified and asked how I could not find out. Works both ways.

EB123 · 15/12/2017 13:11

I had a couple of people like this when we had a private gender scan at 16 weeks. Honestly I couldn't have cared less what they thought.

CaptainChristmas · 15/12/2017 13:13

They don’t afaik...

haveacupoftea · 15/12/2017 13:13

If you are pregnant then this is just the start of it. Prepare to be judged from now to the end of time. Finding out the sex? Planning a water birth? Home birth? Section? Breast or formula? Co sleeping? BLW or traditional weaning? All decisions that people will judge you on. That's just off the top of my head too. There's more. So many more.

dingdongdigeridoo · 15/12/2017 13:13

According to MIL it's 'common' to find out the sex. But I'm already a raging chav in her eyes because I don't own a teapot.

People are weird.

CaptainChristmas · 15/12/2017 13:13

@sausageroll

We had that too! After my 20 week scam with dc1, a colleague was very strange about us not wanting to find out the sex.

AccrualIntentions · 15/12/2017 13:14

I didn't find out. Couldn't give a flying fuck if you did.

AccrualIntentions · 15/12/2017 13:15

@sausageroll Same experience here. They didn't know how I was going to be able to bond with my baby without knowing the sex and giving it a name before birth Hmm

happymummy12345 · 15/12/2017 13:15

Personally I'd never find out because I think it spoils the surprise. But that's just my personal opinion on it.
I've known many people who have and I've never looked down my nose at them. It's a personal choice. It's no one else's business either way.

littlepeas · 15/12/2017 13:26

I agree too op! We found this in my first pregnancy, where we found out but told everyone we were having a surprise (so people wouldn't pester and guess, as we wanted to keep it to ourselves). People would ask if we knew what we were having and when we said 'no', quite often they'd say something negative about those that find out! We found it quite funny. Ultimately some people like knowing, others like a surprise, there shouldn't be any judgement involved...........but there is!

BatShite · 15/12/2017 13:37

You will be judged no matter what

I always find it mildly amusing when people say they are not finding out as they want a 'surprise'. There are only 2 choices..how much of a surprise could it possibly be? Grin

JacquesHammer · 15/12/2017 13:37

I had a colleague who banged on and on "but you're ruining the surprise", "don't you want to be amazed", "you're spoiling you're own wonderment"

She quit after I suggested you're pretty much guaranteed boy/girl and the only way I would be amazed would be if I gave birth to a puppy Grin

JacquesHammer · 15/12/2017 13:37

@BatShite great minds and all that Grin

PodgeBod · 15/12/2017 13:47

Yes I got a lot of judgement from certain family members about finding out. Including requests to keep it a secret Hmm