To be angry at photos at Nativity?

[MrsAnamCara]

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

But its OK for my school and extra curricular clubs to take professional photos of my DC and put them online and in brochures?

As long as you have not asked them not to, yes. The school knows that your children have photo permission, and are not vulnerable, and their location / school can be known without endangering their lives. So they can use photographs of your specific children at no risk.

It's so sad that we now cannot keep memories of our children from the most fleeting precious time in their lives, their childhood.

Take a photograph of your child in costume before or after the show - and enjoy the memory of watching the show. And ask the school whether they would consider taking photos / videos (and possibly making a small amount of money thereby) in future, so that they can manage the safety angle while you will still get the photos.

Oleanna, as can't says it doesn't have to be handled like that. And yes I think it's perfectly acceptable. Some children can't take part in everything you don't ban PE lessons if one child is disabled or RE lessons of one is a Jehovah's Witness or Art and music classes if a child is visually or aurally impaired, you work around it.

It doesn't even indicate issues as some of those who object have no problem at all beyond simply not liking their kids pics on social media.

As I said, my child has more than one disabled close relative who can't actually come to these things and to whom it means a great deal just to have one picture of the stuff they are missing out on. I think it's very sad some people can't see that there are others with valid reasons why just a picture from a photocall is very precious and would cause much sadness if not allowed.

@crisscrosscranky

No-one famous unfortunately. It's more to do with his job.
Some rather unsavoury individuals would live to find out more about him than his name and who he works for.

There have been known cases of nutjobs finding out information about people and then using it to stalk/harass people because of the job they do. This has gone as far as people's children.

He isn't working for the police and no, I'm not going to say what it is he does but Yes, his employer does suggest (not mandate) that their employees keep a low profile.

Personally we feel that it's not a risk we are willing to take.

And yes, the kids school are well aware of what he does.

With regards to photocalls.

The kids are removed. Along with another child who has an adopted brother.

This was done with our agreement.

Yanbu. Anyone who thinks otherwise really doesnt understand the danger here. Children are often removed from an area and taken to another area so that the orginal family has no clue where they are in the uk. Photos taken pinpoint location, school putting that child at risk. The best thing would be before the performance each parent can take pictures of their child away from any other children dressed up. The performance is ruined anyway with lots of phones etc clicking.

It's simple the way they do it at our school. We get plenty of warnings not to post the photos/DVDs on social media, and I've never seen that being abused. Our 2 DDs are adopted so it would be a concern if it was abused.

It's so sad that we now cannot keep memories of our children from the most fleeting precious time in their lives, their childhood

Don't be so dramatic. Yes of course you can take photos of your children, just not when it compromises the safety of others. Why is that so difficult to comprehend?

And for the record, I have some video footage of my dc's shows from back in the day when videoing was allowed. And do you know what? They're really boring to watch. Goes on and on and on, poor quality with people's heads in the way and most of the picture is of other children. We much prefer watching videos of them when they were small pottering around the house and garden. Gives a much better insight into what they were like then.

It's so sad that we now cannot keep memories of our children from the most fleeting precious time in their lives, their childhood

Pass the sick bag

@ilovesooty

So it's now acceptable to exclude vulnerable children from the opportunity to perform?

Why not? It's not like they haven't suffered enough already...

Yes its sad but thats how the world is, technology has changed.

Should parents have been allowed to film?

Our head told us NO photos - they would take them and edit children who have no permission for photos (on their potato of an iPad - at least if you're gonna do it make an effort - they are always terrible!)

I sat during my kids performances this week and thought - why cant we just be trusted to take a pic of our own child?

Then the woman next to me whips out her camera and starts filming regardless of the warning the head gave us. I gave her the death stare.

And this is why. There will ALWAYS be that person to spoil it, share it on social media and get into situations we would want to avoid.

I do get to wondering how the very same full class photograph ends up in the local paper... but thats another thing

Having worked at a school with a Women's Refuge nearby, we had to restrict severely parents taking photos and even having the netball and football teams in the local paper. One father managed to track down his wife and child and he was a horrible, frightening man - she had to leave abruptly and go to another school about twenty miles away. I hasten to add this wasn't due to a photo, but that is what the real problem is if the wrong person sees them

I get where you’re coming from. At ours we were told we could photograph but not put on social media... but the iPads & phones in the air got on my nerves! I wish School would just video it & sell the dvd to raise school funds & say no phones or iPads x

Even when the school asks for no photos, which DD’s did this morning, you still get selfish fuckers whipping out their phones and filming it.

The head specifically asked parents not to; said there would be an opportunity to photograph your own child, in costume, after the performance, plus the school were filming a DVD to be given out free to the children. Usually, the kids who aren’t allowed to be photographed are put on the ends and cropped out for the distributed DVD. It’s generous, it works, and nobody is compromised.

Not good enough for the utter twonk in front of me, with her massive iPhone though.

There is no good reason to film a performance like this
Apart from wanting to watch it again at home, for example?

I video'd both DD's nativity and DS2's Carol concert - both with clearly given requests to anyone videoing and taking pictures not to share, which is a policy that the school actively polices - in addition, for the concert, the Head, who was standing near me, let me know that there were children in the concert with special privacy concerns, and to please zoom in on DS - which I naturally did.
Schools generally know who does not have permission - or has other reasons not allow photographs; in fact I noticed notices in the office to let staff know to whom this applies (not close enough for any details to be visible, btw - just saw that they were there).

I saw my dd’s nativity today too, and the teacher said before the performance that videos/Photos can be taken, but must not under any circumstances be put on social media or sent to anyone, as we do not have the permission of the other parents to do this. We just have to trust that everyone respects that, which I would hope most people would seeing as though their children will also be in other peoples pics

Has no one mentioned privacy yet, for anyone without safety concerns? I do not want pictures of me or my child anywhere on social media without my permission. Sure, people can take pictures in public areas, but if they want to publish it they need permission. I won’t give permission and my child is too young to understand what it means, so it would be unfair to just put pictures of him online.

I think pictures and videos should be banned as you cannot trust people not to put them on Facebook even if they have been told not to.

watch the whole thing through the back of a phone rather than enjoying the actual performance

No need to do that - I put a Gorillapod on top of one of my longer walking sticks, zoom it in to the right amount, and glance up every now and then to make sure it's pointed the right way.

Used to be very common but now its completely banned...and I agree...spoils it when absolutely everyone is photographing or filming their dearest

We all remember the tragic consequenses when we USED to allow uncontrolled photography of children, don't we? Well, come, on, someone must remember ONE tragic consequence? Or even a mildly inconveinent one...?

I think there is a good need to film things like this. My friend lost her daughter age 6 to meningitis. Her videos of her banging a drum in the nativity and her doing her first and only school sports day are little highlights that are more precious than anything else on this planet. Her school friends and her teachers meant the world to her little girl, they were some of the most wonderful times of her dd's life, and I for one am so so glad she has these.
Unless you have a bloody good reason I think its just mass blooming hysteria of people not wanting their kids photo taken. Unless there is a good reason I want all the pics and videos I can of my little ones and their friends, and the majority of folk I know feel the same.

I signed a form when my child first started school stating it was fine.

our school encourages photos and video. They say that watching them back with the children later is an excellent way to build the childrens self confidence and I agree. Of course they ask everyone not to post them on social media without blurring or covering the faces of other kids shown. All parents are happy with this - if they weren't I am sure the school would look again at their rules.

We've always been told at the start of every performance that we are allowed to video or take pictures but we are not allowed to post on social media

I went to my sons nativity today. He is in school nursery and it was them and reception class joint together.

The headteacher announced before it started that photos and videos were not allowed but a teacher would take some photos we could see.

At the end, we could take pictures of just our own children at the church by baby Jesus which I think was a perfectly acceptable compromise.

Still some cheeky fuckers taking photos and the vicar had to repeatedly tell them to stop it.

We werent asked for permission but were informed at the beginning of the show we were not allowed tp share our photos or videos on any social media the only ppl who were at the nursery nativity were parents/carers or family members of the children do not find anything wrong with this and was glad tht it was sed to not share online on social media.