For crying out loud, I'm not snobby! Or am I?!

[NoBreakNoProblem]

I moved to this area a year or so ago to be closer to work. It's a predominantly a working-class neighbourhood (nothing against the working class, BTW, my parents were ones - it's just a description). Except I tried so many times to be friends with the neighbours and other parents at my child's school. Everything goes perfectly fine and pleasant until they learn about what I did for living.

It usually goes like that: what do you do? Ah, well...I'm an academic researcher/university lecturer. Then, almost every time, a deafening silence follows! Almost always, they try to avoid speaking with me afterwards. Some even stopped saying 'hi' - including the parents of my child's best friends (they came to my house a couple of times before).

For the love of God, I'm not the 'elitist' snob they think I am. Take for example this, the other day the plumber came to fix something in our house. We were chatting and having a laugh for nearly an hour. As soon as he learned what I did, his attitude changed completely and started to stonewall me by being 'too formal'. It's either they don't understand what I do, hence the silence, or think I'm that educated snob similar to those posh snobs who have driven the country's working-class into the gutter. Then again, why the stonewalling and the avoidance? I don't really speak philosophy or political science to them.

I never ever experienced this before - until I moved into this area.

Please tell me what's going on?!

[Message edited by MNHQ]

@NoBreakNoProblem

Yes.

Yes, agreed. Toning down the job title will probably be the way to go. Guys, it's really not that 'high up' pretentious stuff as some think it is. Sometimes it's a totally shit job!

I think the fact that you are 'explaining' this to people on a thread where most contributors will be perfectly aware of what your job entails, and how 'high up' it is, does suggest that you maybe come across as a little condescending in real life as well.

I agree with a previous poster that you are probably perceived as an outsider and that's that. There are places with an us/them mentality. I live in one.

If apart from that you have a job description that some people don't know much about, they probably think you have nothing in common. Or some sort of 'inferiority complex' might kick in on their part. I've been told this by people suffering from it several years after meeting them.

So wtf is a humbling role?

You go to work, you're working class

Ehrm, that’s not the actual definition though. The actual definitions are

Working class is working for a wage rather than a salary ie paid by the hour or day and typically in physical, manual or industrial labour.

Middle class is well educated, professional and business, earn an annual salary.

Upper class are the wealthiest with the highest social status. Land owners, aristocrats etc.

OP - I have encountered that. I avoid mentioning what I do, or say I'm a university teacher. If I just say that I work at X university, people assume that I'm a secretary.

OTOH some working class folk know more about my subject than I do.

Saying that you're a philosopher can get the middle class to shut up too.

Guys,

Just to let you know, I never intended this threat to be thaaaat controversial. Clearly, there are very severe sensitivities regarding class in this country.

I appreciate the helpful inputs by some of you. They did, indeed, open my eyes to things I wasn't aware of.

On that note, I have to say, I'm actually taking notes right now . Some for my personal use, and others - perhaps - I can build a research topic on. Thank you!!

There's a fair amount of being mates with plumbers etc on this thread. It made me think of this.
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/middle-class-man-convinced-builders-like-him-2013041265450

becotide yes.

On that note, I have to say, I'm actually taking notes right now grin. Some for my personal use, and others - perhaps - I can build a research topic on. Thank you!!

Oh FGS put the wooden spoon away

That's not really true either though Bluntness. You can have millions and still be working class (Gazza, the Rooneys), or you can be a penniless aristocrat and still be upper class.

It isn't about how much money you've got. It's about your cultural background, your family's history, your attitudes and beliefs, your accent, how you perceive people, your heritage. Most of us in Britain know a person's class within seconds of meeting, but we often don't know how much money they've got in the bank.

"An academic/lecturer" is a phrase only those in academia use ime (family in HE) - it also doesn't leave much a a route in for people. Hence the silence. I do a weird job that most people don't know. When people ask me what I do I tell them the role and give them a point of contact into the role, that they will have heard of. If you say 'I teach "x" - people can go "ohhh, I hate/love/don't know much about x".
I would also say, academics (ime) tend to expect everyone to be as fascinated by their subject as they are. Which is almost never the case. Maybe people don't ask you about it ... because they just aren't that interested?!

As an aside, I'm sure you'll know the Auden quote:
“To the man-in-the-street, who, I'm sorry to say
Is a keen observer of life,
The word Intellectual suggests straight away
A man who's untrue to his wife.”

@Battleax LOL - righto then!

There is a thick seam of small-mindedness that runs through many communities in this country. It's not necessarily a class thing though: you would experience similar judgement in many 'naice' villages in the shires as well. I think it's more about insularity and a general suspicion of people who are "not like us".

FaFoutis LOVE that article. That is the exact thing I was thinking.

I don't know what a humbling role is. I know i said it, but i couldn't think of a better word I'm referring to the 'people falling into silence upon hearing what your job is' phenomenon the OP is on about.

Personally i'm humbled by anyone who deals with our shit (literally and otherwise) on a daily basis. Nurses, dustmen, members of the police force, fire fighters ect.

@nobutreally You couldn't put it better. Thank you!

CheapSausages my XH is an arachnologist, but his grammar isn't great. Not many people are brilliant at everything.

On that note, I have to say, I'm actually taking notes right now grin. Some for my personal use, and others - perhaps - I can build a research topic on. Thank you!

Thought do...

Thought so..

Where did you get those definitions bluntness?

The informal understanding of where class sits is EVERYTHING in the UK.

None of this is exhaustive, but as an idea:
So working class:
Most people.
Upper working class are people who have been socially mobile for a generation or 2, but these are also what the majority of mumsnetters who would think of themselves as middle class.

Middle class- There is usually money, although you can be middle class without it. You can indeed, be unemployed and middle class.

This is about background- generations of home ownership, private schooling, higher education, professional jobs etc. Middle class pursuits include skiing, rugby, and hockey. Participating in any of the above does not, alone, allow you membership into the middle class. It is possible to marry in but takes generations to establish yourself. It's about a gite in France, camping in Wales, pony club.

It's the most boring class, since art, culture and innovation almost always come from the working and upper class. It's the "doing" class- the class that takes the rapper from a south London estate and commercialises him. They're the corporate world.

Upper class- generations of upper class establishment. There can be no argument about belonging here, it just is.

Oh God if we're doing "What is class anyway" again, I'm starting the filing

insearch absolutely. Any class contains rich and poor. Any class contains both employed and unemployed people. Children are assigned a class due to their background, and they certainly don't have jobs.

What a sad old country we live in.