For crying out loud, I'm not snobby! Or am I?!

[NoBreakNoProblem]

I moved to this area a year or so ago to be closer to work. It's a predominantly a working-class neighbourhood (nothing against the working class, BTW, my parents were ones - it's just a description). Except I tried so many times to be friends with the neighbours and other parents at my child's school. Everything goes perfectly fine and pleasant until they learn about what I did for living.

It usually goes like that: what do you do? Ah, well...I'm an academic researcher/university lecturer. Then, almost every time, a deafening silence follows! Almost always, they try to avoid speaking with me afterwards. Some even stopped saying 'hi' - including the parents of my child's best friends (they came to my house a couple of times before).

For the love of God, I'm not the 'elitist' snob they think I am. Take for example this, the other day the plumber came to fix something in our house. We were chatting and having a laugh for nearly an hour. As soon as he learned what I did, his attitude changed completely and started to stonewall me by being 'too formal'. It's either they don't understand what I do, hence the silence, or think I'm that educated snob similar to those posh snobs who have driven the country's working-class into the gutter. Then again, why the stonewalling and the avoidance? I don't really speak philosophy or political science to them.

I never ever experienced this before - until I moved into this area.

Please tell me what's going on?!

[Message edited by MNHQ]

Without meaning to be offensive, I can't see many people being stunned into silence at the revelation you are a lecturer

That's exactly what I thought.

As soon as he learned what I did, his attitude changed completely and started to stonewall me by being 'too formal'

I'm starting to think you're delivering this information as some kind of sweeping revelation, and people are supposed to react.

You're a researcher with the Uni, and do some lecturing. Without detracting one bit from your career or achievements, it's not earth-shatteringly rarified enough to warrant anything other than 'oh, right. What area/bit of the university are you attached to,' or something similar to be honest.

Are you projecting a bit, OP?

YANBU, @NoBreakNoProblem and the reverse snobbery and people tearing you down on this thread alone proves your point. Why should you have to diminish the type of job you do just so people don't feel insecure? It's mad.

What if you're from overseas? Where would you fit into the class structure or would you just always be on the outside?

It's possible for a foreigner to fit into the class system but often they'll be automatically assigned to the working class until they have proven otherwise

Stop! All this class stuff is just grist to this guy's mill..

*Ehrm, that’s not the actual definition though. The actual definitions are

Working class is working for a wage rather than a salary ie paid by the hour or day and typically in physical, manual or industrial labour.

Middle class is well educated, professional and business, earn an annual salary.*

Sorry, but this really isn't accurate at all, earning a salary is not a determiner of class. Plenty of working class employees receive annual salaries. Equally, many middle-class professionals and consultants are self-employed and paid by the hour, or the day, or the project.

@JingsMahBucket

I don't mind. It's an opportunity to see both sides of the coin. Although, some comments were way off topic and incredibly defensive - although in an offensive fashion. But it's part of the deal, isn't it?

What if you're from overseas? Where would you fit into the class structure or would you just always be on the outside?

You fit into the ‘forriner’ category. Subcategories are: exotic, suspicious, nobility, megarich or cheerfully harmless.

You remain outside the class system unless you’re some sort of Russian nobility/euro royalty, in which case you go in at the top (the DOE). I’m not sure where we stand of the French at the moment, it’s a chequered history ...

Don't mention that you teach at university. What do you teach? English, science, politics? Just say "I teach English" etc even if it is an overly simplified version of what you do.

Sorry, but this really isn't accurate at all, earning a salary is not a determiner of class

I wasn’t putting it out there for discussion because quite simply these are the dictionary definitions. You can have your own definition, you can disagree, but factually these are the dictionary definitions and as such they are accurate. If you don’t like em. Don’t tell me, email the editor of the Cambridge English dictionary.🤣

It's either they don't understand what I do

As your working class plumber would say, here's your problem.

Do you really think a working class person wouldn't be able to understand what it is you do?

I don't get that- what did you look up in the dictionary to get that definition?

You sound lovely. You should move to where you would be appreciated. I have always found that class distinctions derive from the bottom up. You are banging your head against a wall of ignorance. Be yourself. Their loss. X

Nothing in your post has stood out to me as snobbish op so

From the tone of your post I imagine it’s the way you say it, rather than what you say-sounds a really boring job, not a lot you can say to that is there?.

I don't get that- what did you look up in the dictionary to get that definition?

Cmon. It’s not that hard.

Working class definition
Middle class definition
Upper class definition

What do you think I looked up? Ffs. 🤣

A researcher/uni lecturer is not exactly up there with being a high court judge or brain surgeon though is it? I can’t imagine why any of them would suddenly stop talking to you when they find out - your theory doesn’t make sense op.

I'm not sure why people are giving you such a hard time. Maybe it's because reverse snobbery seems to be universally accepted as ok

I have always found that class distinctions derive from the bottom up.

The irony of that comment...wow.

Well it's hard because I'm trying to check and that's not what the Cambridge dictionary says...

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/middle-class

FaFoutis That article is perfect 😂
This one's less pithy but also makes some good points I think.

(Tl;dr The most middle class conversation of all is over over whether you are “truly” middle class, and oh – isn’t it just so complex? There are thousands of privileged people in Britain who spend their days eulogising about going to Greggs and Wetherspoons / exchanging "banter" with their builders as if it shows how grounded and open-minded they are. No working class person I know does the same, because for them these aren't notable events. They’re buying food, ordering a pint, or having a conversation, not going on a class-crossing field trip to an alien territory in which they feel comfortable because being middle class affords you the confidence to feel entitled to enter any space you wish.)

@chocorabbit

I was asked what I taught. When I said 'political psychology', somebody immediately said: "So, you're a lefty then, did you vote remain?" . Notice the generic connections drawn. It's either you're one of us or one of 'them'. Post-Brexit patter, clearly...divisions and categorisations.

pattern

What wankery is this??

Oops, italic fail and forgot the link:
www.huckmagazine.com/perspectives/opinion-perspectives/hetty-douglas-working-class-dawn-foster/