Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hate my Christmas present from DH

353 replies

lilypoppet · 14/12/2017 00:54

I've realized DH has bought me a gift set of chutneys this year and I hate it. Especially as I helped him choose a lovely gift for his mother which cost three times as much and which I would have loved. I can't even take it back because it's gift food. Is that all I'm worth to him a tenners worth of chutneys? AIBU?

OP posts:
teacups83 · 15/12/2017 20:48

Ten pound budget you are both getting token crap presents (hat and chutney) and putting money and thought into the kids presents, no?!

nutnerk · 15/12/2017 20:55

If your budget is £10 what are you expecting really? What can you get for £10 that isn't completely naff or food?

nutnerk · 15/12/2017 20:57

I love the idea from a previous poster of going out and buying it yourself before Christmas and then showing it to him! 'look at this great chutney set I bought - it was in the gift section haha! Who would buy that for a gift?!'

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/12/2017 20:59

Yes he likes chutney. I'll tell him he can keep it.

NO! Give it to a food bank!

He does not deserve to benefit from his bollox present.

Order something you would like (a Molton and Browne gift set, perhaps) and give it to yourself from the dog/ cat/ goldfish/ garden birds that you put bits of bread out for.

Get him a multipack of IKEA vanilla scented candles. I think they cost £1.99. That's ample for a chutney giver.

SandAndSea · 15/12/2017 21:01

OP, the comedian, Sean Lock does a really funny act which might help you see the funny side of this. Maybe try to find that (sorry, I don't have the link ATM) and watch it before speaking to your dh.

I can definitely relate to your situation, OP. I have learnt to just be straight with my dp, but it took a few years.

I would also absolutely recommend setting up Pinterest boards for present ideas so he knows for sure what you'd like.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/12/2017 21:04

One year looking round Waterstones just before Christmas I indicated a book and said, Whatever you get, I don't want that. Fast forward to Christmas morning, there it was

Exactly this happened to me, Tilly.

DH said - "Oh look - a new book by that author you like" and I said - "I don't want it. I've read it. And it's hardback - I hate hardbacks." Christmas morning - there it was! Angry

I threw it at him. I said "I TOLD you I didn't want that book!" He said "I didn't think you meant it."

Are you my husband's Other Wife? Why aren't you dealing with his snotty hankies you lazy trollop? Grin

Jux · 15/12/2017 21:05

DH used to give me absolutely crap presents, but he always got himself something good as an extra - this applies to birthdays and Christmas. So some few years ago, I bought myself a Xmas present ‘from DH’. So successful was it, that I did for several years.

DH then started getting me good presents!

Fuckoffee · 15/12/2017 21:06

“If your budget is £10 what are you expecting really? ”

Err not a jar of feckin Branston Pickle. Even dressed up in a box it’s pretty standard food. On a par with putting a bow on a bottle of ketchup.

LightastheBreeze · 15/12/2017 21:12

DH and I just buy our own presents, there is no angst then and we get what we want.

Sweetpea55 · 15/12/2017 21:13

Buy him a plastic dog turd. And get yourself something lush

Castieldeansam · 15/12/2017 21:15

Buy him a donation to a charity?

Or just tell him straight out that the chutney better not be the only present he has bought you.

My hubby is shit at buying presents. he now gets a specific list. I don't think being shit is a excuse, I think it's insulting and lazy. If people can't be bothered to find out what you like then it's insulting, even if they get it wrong, it's better that they tried. E.g. You like crochet, but they buy you knitting, you like pencil drawing, but they get you paint. At least they have made an effort. There are books out there for pretty much most things, so if someone has an interest be it a tv show or practical hobby, a book on that subject shows they have shown an interest.

DancingOnParsnips · 15/12/2017 21:15

We were in the supermarket last week and I said I love pickles, but I didn't mean I wanted them as a gift! This is where you went wrong, OP. I would love to know what your DH does for a living - I think I can guess the general area!

toconclude · 15/12/2017 21:18

"There's no point whatsoever telling people what to buy. If there's no thought or effort involved it's not a present really. He needs to choose something himself and go out and buy it himself."

Complete nonsense. I want a gift I want, not one someone guesses at. I have enough tat already.

roboticmom · 15/12/2017 21:19

I figure people get you what they would want to receive :-) Gift him some chutney next year and for his birthday too!

SugaredSocks · 15/12/2017 21:20

Forget the hat get him this he can’t argue with it either as it’s for charity Grin then buy yourself something wonderfully frivolous and put from DH Flowers www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/grow-vegetables/pile-of-poo-ou1007ml?intcmp=ou-home-product-pile-of-poo

clarkl2 · 15/12/2017 21:26

Hahahahahaahhahahqahahhahqhaahah are you taking the piss? Drop kick the chutney out the backdoor and order something fabulous using his card details.

SureJan · 15/12/2017 21:27

It's a bit of a shit gift OP, but you've said in one of your posts that he 'proudly placed it under the tree & was all smiles about it' - see, this suggests to me that he thinks he's done really well, he thinks he's been really thoughtful & got you something you'll like & appreciate! I couldn't be mad at that. He's got it horribly wrong, but he's tried.

teacups83 · 15/12/2017 21:31

Someone on here can guess your job title by how shit you are at buying presents. Have to love MN.

Lovemusic33 · 15/12/2017 21:44

LTB

LightastheBreeze · 15/12/2017 21:55

It could have been a lot worse at least it won’t get wasted, I would get some nice cheese in.

Lunde · 15/12/2017 21:56

So your dh unilaterally decides that your present budget is £10 without discussion - spends over 3 times this on his mum using your staff discount and then buys you Branston pickle - which he likes!

I would buy your own present and put it under the tree and let him wonder where it came from.

Or do a little label swapping and let mil get the chutneys (dh thinks it's a great present right?) and you get the MB stuff

ItsInTheDogsMouth · 15/12/2017 22:00

My DH doesn,t 'do' Christmas, or follow the tradition of buying presents just 'because it's Christmas'. For the first few years i was upset at not receiving anything from him. Now, i realise i can't change him, but i deserve a lovely christmas present, so i buy myself something lovely (this year a cashmere hat and scarf). He buys me things i want/need as and when throughout the year, so i just had to re-arrange my thinking to realise that if i want something 'for Christmas' then i would have to get it myself.

RaeCJ82 · 15/12/2017 22:02

That is a terrible present!
My OH said to me the other week "oooh your Christmas present has been delivered to a co-worker" and he showed me a delivery email. Unfortunately, he'd failed to cover up the brand name properly and I saw the word 'Dyson'. He'd only gone and bought a hand held Dyson, which we do need, and decided that it would be my Christmas present, even though it was for the household and we'd both be using it. I told him I hoped he was joking!!

ColonelJackONeil · 15/12/2017 22:07

Buy yourself something expensive but smallish that you would like. Open the chutney and carefully make a parcel just like the chutney one for your gift carefully transferring the label. Put the chutney in a different box and give it to dh.
Or if that's too much effort ltb .

ivykaty44 · 15/12/2017 22:09

You can get castration kits on amazon for under a tenner - not sure they’d be here before Christmas oh dear

Swipe left for the next trending thread