To not buy birthday gifts for others kids...

[Toughtips]

We have 3 birthday parties to go to in December. I wasn't thinking straight when it came to accepting them. I just can't afford to get a gift for each of those at this time of year. AIBU to just send a card?

Yes. It's tough but it's not the birthday person's fault.

No. I think I'd say something to the host though. Just a quick quiet word.

Having said that, can you not afford £2-£3 (£6-£9) in PoundLand? If you can't fair enough.

How old are the children and are they school parties? I would just put £5 in a card. If you can't afford anything I wouldn't go

If you can't afford it, then you can't afford it.
But I agree that a quiet word with the host parent might be a good idea, say that things are particularly tight at the moment, but would xx like to come for tea in the new year and you'll make it a special party-themed one?

Was my 'no' unclear? I meant 'No, you're not being unreasonable.'

One will be 3 the other 4 and one 6. Im already overdrawn quite badly as it is. They're all play center parties so will already of been paid for.

My kids (& I) would just want the kid to come. One of my children has a birthday nr Xmas and has been given:
a home made Birthday crown
3 home made Crispie cakes in a nice bit of netting with ribbon
An iou for a play date to include playing a game he really likes
Second hand books/toys including pre-owned by the child attending
Just a card

• he hasn't given a monkey's and neither have we. We'd have been v sad if those families had turned down the invitation bc of cost. It's an expensive time of year, everyone knows that.

A pound shop gift (if you can afford it) is perfectly good enough. They usually have some decent colouring or activity books.

Or you could speak to the parents and explain. I've hosted many parties and the main thing is the friend being there, not the present!

Do you have a stocking gift that one of your kids are getting that you can give to the birthday k

*birthday child instead?

I'll have a look for some pound shop gifts then I think.

Yeah. People with December/new year birthdays totally love that they don’t get so much because of when their birthdays fall. Children especially.

Can’t you give them something you’ve bought for Xmas?

It’s a bit off to get nothing but pound shop gift is fine if you choose something appropriate. 2 of mine are dec birthdays and definitely wouldn’t want you to cancel or decline just for this reason, but I think a small token gift is not normally out of people’s budget - even a bar of choc from the supermarket my boy would be happy with or I’m sure you can get offers on box of Maltesers or something at the mo 3 for 2 maybe and all 3 parties done for about 2 quid if you’re really struggling

For the younger ones, just a token gift would do (a cheap book or a fiver to the parents to get them something they know their child likes/wants) and the older one maybe like someone else said an invite round for tea in the new year. I never buy actual presents for kids friends, just stick a tenner in the card because I'd rather them use that to get what they want than buy them something that will most likely end up on a facebook selling page! Explain to the parents that money is tight and apologise for not being able to buy/spend more - I'm sure they will understand and not even expect you to have spent a fortune on their child - I don't even let my friends buy my son presents as I know I won't remember to do the same back for their kids, Family are the main gift givers imo

Poundshop gifts are fine. At their ages it’s mostly about something fun to open. They often have nice books and things that don’t ‘look’ cheap if you get me.

Agree lovely books to be had in Poundland at the moment. Harry and his dinosaurs, Horrid Henry and great colouring too. Should cover the age range you need

a box of Maltesers for a pound or a packet of Smarties attached to a home made (fold a piece of paper in half, kid draws a picture) card is better than nothing.

There's some really nice stuff in Poundland at the mo. I got some stocking fillers there. Things like little pea shooter type things and you handcuffs or matchbox cars. They were all really cheap but the sort of thing that will get played with not sit collecting dust.

I've not bought many gifts for the kids tbh. They've got one main present and then a selection box. Wish I'd got stacks of already purchased gifts to choose from tbh

I agree that a token gift would probably be ok. They are still quite small. Maybe apologise to the parents?
Try to budget for this in future though.
Best luck and best wishes.

I had one Christmas when I had to do my Christmas shopping in Charity shops. Nobody complained but I felt awful although I got some good things for them.

As PP's have said, lots of shops have things like maltesers / choc orange / smarties tubes on offer just now 3 for 2, or something like a kinder egg so a wee bit of chocolate and a toy. Most little kids have no idea of cost and just want to celebrate with their friends. I know my dc would have been way more disappointed with a no show than with a homemade card and simple gift.

I think you should get a something cheap if possible, seems abit mean to turn up with nothing. A little something is better then nothing

Well of it was my child's party, you would be very welcome and I would be sad that you'd felt so worried. One of my son's friends told him he couldn't go to his party because he couldn't afford a present and my son told him, "You don't need to bring a present, it's you I want not a present." I felt very proud of him and told him that was exactly right. I was sad the boy didn't turn up.
All this Poundland because it's cheap is rather disappointing. Please don't add to your overdraft for this. I'd let the parents know in advance though?

well.... you could always decline the parties?

well.... you could always decline the parties?