To not buy birthday gifts for others kids...

[Toughtips]

We have 3 birthday parties to go to in December. I wasn't thinking straight when it came to accepting them. I just can't afford to get a gift for each of those at this time of year. AIBU to just send a card?

I wouldn't have a problem your DC coming to a party without a present ... but may feel a bit sad for my child (not for me) if you go to parties at other times in the year and do take presents...

But I'd definitely want you to come - December birthdays are bad enough (one of mine has just had one!) without no-one wanting to come to a party!!

OP are you near a hobbycraft shop? Noticed recently that there are really lovely craft kits super cheap. £2 suncatcher to paint, £3 set of pencils with toppers which looks much more expensive. 3 for 2 offers etc. I was surprised, I think of it as quite pricey there.

2 of mine have a December and early January birthday. We have parties because they love to spend time with their friends. I couldn't care less if people brought a gift or not, and neither could they. We always home make cards as it seems bonkers to waste £2 on something that goes in the recycling.
Last year when people asked about presents I said a £1 in the card would be brilliant. She had 20 friends and £30 and had a wonderful time at the toy shop.
The year before that she got 10 loom band sets which is a lot of loom bands! Probably still got a box unopened if any use

Please accept the invite and let your child and their friend enjoy the party. It is absolutely not worth getting into debt over.

OP just to avoid this in future, worth considering getting a big bag and filling it with bargains you find throughout the year whenever you have a few quid to spare, which you can dip into whenever a birthday comes up. I often do this with boxed chocolates when there's a really good offer, so I can just grab one from the stash to take to parties if they fall on an especially tight week.

Yep, B & M, poundstretcher, poundland etc. All sell super cheap shit for kids. You can get 3 okayish presents for a fiver for all 3!

A pack of smarties and really nice homemade card. And you could say to the mum sorry it's a small gift, it's tight with Xmas this year.

Better your children attend than drop out becase you can't afford a gift.

Saying that, if you can find the extra then a £1 gift from pound land will totally be great.

We have a draw of kids' presents, mostly books, picked up throughout the year. Nearly all in sales etc. So it spreads the cost snd there is always something to grab. Kids with Dec/Jan birthdays deserve to have their friends attend their party as much as any other kids. FWIW I don't expect presents and neither does my DD

i wouldn't bat an eyelid if a guest just brought a card, and I'd feel awful if I knew someone had declined an invitation because they weren't able to bring something.

we've also had some really great presents that only cost a pound if you are able to stretch to it. I can't think of a primary-aged child who doesn't love a brand spanking new pack of felt-tips regardless of how much art stuff they already have. Or a chocolate orange all to themselves.

Do you have any skills that you could employ to make a gift? A painted mug with ceramic pens or a printed t-shirt? Plain t-shirts are about £1.50 from the school range in the like of Asda. Wilkos have plain mugs for £1 you could personalise them and put ht chocolate and mini mallows in?
Much more thoughtful than plastic tous.

Astonished at some of the posts upthread suggesting you drop out as it would be rude to otherwise. And some people really do live in a different world - a small token present = a fiver in a card? And I say that as someone pretty comfortably off.

I wouldn't care or perhaps even notice if you turned up without a present. I'd want your child to turn up. And I hope I'd have raised my dc better than for them to feel slighted or comment.

I get about ten books from pound shop and dish them out as birthday presents during the year.

I am quite surprised at the posters saying don't go if you can't afford a gift. I invite children to my ds parties because he likes them and enjoys spending time with them. I'd be mortified if I thought somebody was avoiding the party because they couldn't afford a gift.
I agree with a small token box of chocs or similar or quiet word with the host, but op please still go to the parties, money and gifts aren't everything.

I think you should get a small token gift. I’m guessing there’ll be food at the party so saving you the cost of a meal for your DC.

Lots of good suggestions on here for inexpensive presents. Kids with birthdays in December have to wait all year for presents and then often get combined gifts or forgotten altogether.

There are really nice £8rrp books in Poundland.

(Obviously they're a pound... lots of proper, good books)

Hetero that's how I feel too. The 'buy in Poundland' is all well and good but it's not the be all and end all. I'm a January birthday and I couldn't have told you what presents I'd had from friends as a child - nor who had bought them. I do remember who was at my parties though.

My mum would have been so disappointed if children hadn't come for the sake of a present. Who cares really?

I have enough not to worry about buying stuff but I'm acutely aware that not everybody is that fortunate. The attitudes from some on this thread absolutely disgust me.

That would not be a problem if it were my son's party at all. I would be most upset if someone didn't come because they couldn't afford a gift. They wouldn't even need to tell me, but if they did I just say no big deal.

I always make sure my son knows that not everyone will give him a gift and that's ok.

I know this doesn't help re your gift situation (although I second a poundshop gift) but why spend the money on a card?

I really grudge spending £2 or £3 on cards that just get recycled. Couldn't you make a nice card with your kids?

It's much more personal and cheaper (if you already have some basic crafting things that is)

Both me and my son are December birthdays. Please just mention it to the mum that finances are tight. I'm sure they would be happy to see you, kids that age wouldn't notice presents but do notice when friends don't come to their parties. I gave up organising anything for my lad when was about 8 as it was always a disappointment. I always got excuses that people were away over the period but wonder now how many were excuses on financial,reasons

I always put on my little ones bday invites that presents arebt expected. Gor her first bday we asked people to bring donations of basic things ike a tube of bubbles or bag of sweets or left over nappies for our friends charity trip...people gave those and then got my little one a seperate gift too 🙈 a nice chocolate bar is a lovely treat or a colouring book/stickers

This has really annoyed me all these people saying declined. Parties are celebrations you want to spend with people you care about, not an opportunity to get loads of presents. My lad is 13 next Monday. Due to th e bad weather I've had to give him a couple of present early, hat, gloves and a warm fleece. He will now get one small gift on his birthday, no party or sleepover as I can't

afford pizzas for a group of his mates. Thankfully he's ok about this as I think I'm doing ok on raising him well. I also understand how for many people there is no spare cash in budget to buy up gifts through the year. I love the Greek way, when when it's your birthday you buy loads of mini cakes and share your celebration with your friends, no gift are expect in return.

How about this from Wilko's?

www.wilko.com/sweets-and-chocolate-gifts/cadbury-small-selection-pack-95g/invt/0258053?nst=0&gclid=CjwKCAiA9rjRBRAeEiwA2SV4ZXWoK1wgZWmx0fBx8CqC3JtHCr_cBKeUrfaRP7n6a_63_PdFlhxq9BoCIY8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Only a pound and I think perfectly acceptable. I would much rather DS received something like this than a piece of cheap plastic tat that will be ignored and become landfill or some shite obviously recycled, previously unwanted gift! Don't decline future invitations because of gift expectations a small token gift is fine.

I'd be so upset that a wanted guest missed a party because of money.
Go to a charity shop - children's books are often completely unmarked. You can probably get a nice picture book for 50p each.

Have you already bought cards? If not - don't! Fold over a piece of paper and do home made.

The pound shop always has good children's books...I'd get them a book and a box of maltesers...total cost...£2. That is perfectly acceptable. Get your DC to make a card.