Dedicated a book to friends dcs and she's not mentioned it

[Trampire]

I'm braving AIBU. To be honest I'm not sure where to put this...

I'm feeling a little confused. I'm a professional illustrator. I've had hundreds of books published. I often get asked to include a dedication in the book. Over the years I've included my own dcs, my dh, my mum and dad and friend's children.

I few years ago I reconnected with an old school friend who is shared a flat with in London when we were in our 20's. We're in our mid 40's now. My dcs are slightly older than hers but we met up a few times and had a great time, all got on well. We regularly sent birthday and Xmas cards. I sent through copies of my new books to her dcs etc. When my dad died earlier this year she was really supportive, lots of phone calls and we met up for a dog walk. She sent through a photo of her daughter on World book day dressed up as one of my book characters - I was really touched.
So when I was asked for a dedication for my latest book I put her dcs names forward. When the title came out I sent her a few copies along with a birthday card for her. I explained that I'd dedicated the book to her dcs as they were always supportive and interested in my books.

Thing is, since then I've heard nothing. I left it a whole as I know life is busy. We normally communicate by text. I sent her a text a month later asking if she was ok and did her dcs like the books? No reply.

Wtf? Could anyone possibly be offended by a book dedication? Maybe it's nothing to do with that and I'm over thinking it? She doesn't do SM but her husband does. I've taken to looking at his fb page to see if something tragic had happened but from what I can see it's business as usual.

I'm so confused. Shall I leave it? I'm not offended or angry about the book really (I dedicated a book to my dh's niece once and my BIL and his de could not have been less interested!) and just so confused as it's do out of character.

I saw Duck and posted I was suitably chastened

Just two first names nothing else. Could really be anyone.

Nothing in the book I can think of. I don't want to out myself by describing the book in too much detail but it's just two normal children, camping out, having adventures etc.

I'm not going to follow it up. I'm just going to leave it.

Maybe she didn’t think it was a big deal.

People are weird. I think what you did is really nice.

Op now I've had a glass of wine I'm brave enough to ask. Will you please dedicate your next book to me. I might actually die of gratitude

You're on Bitoutofpractice

I may have felt a bit wired about that if I wasn't so close to you but you seem fairly close? Maybe she doesn't realise that it's not a huge deal and has been put off by it? Or maybe she's just having a very hard time at the moment for sone reason or other and doesn't feel like responding to your messages.

There’s nowt as strange as folk op. Just leave it, you’ve tried. It’s a shame she has gone cold on you but you can’t control it. Hopefully she will contact you with a very reasonable explanation.

So strange and hurtful OP. You’re handling it extremely well. Will you update us if you do hear from your friend? It’s a real puzzle.

I agree, its odd.

Maybe she has been meaning to reply for ages?

Perhaps something is going on in her life that she can’t / doesn’t want to talk about. Certainly, I have been known to go quiet during difficult times....nothing to do with the other person at all, simply the fact that I couldn’t face talking about things.

Do you think this might be the case? If I were you I would continue to keep lines of communication open by sending cards etc. Expect nothing in return but, maybe, in time she will resume contact when she is ready.

I think she has assumed the children ‘s names are others frends of yours and too embarrassed to just assume you meant the dedication to be to her children.

Wasn’t explained very well.
I mean that if the names are just everyday .... David and Laura for example.... she may assume the dedication is for someone else. Have you actually told her the book is dedicated to her children. She could be worried about making a real pratt of herself if it was actually meant for someone else.

Are you beuu?

I'm really hoping you are Shirley Hughes OP.

Trampire is your dog called Buzz?

Shirley Hughes is 90!!!! Op is mid 40s.

She can't have realised it was dedicated to her kids surely?

DD would burst with excitement to have a book dedicated to her, she got a book signed a few years ago (Old Bear, at a talk at our local museum) and it is shown to everyone who visits along with the story of how the author told her her idea of a story was a really good idea.

When people withhold praise, they are clearly jealous.

Or they have any number of other reasons.

some women are obessed with the idea of other women being jealous.

I really hope she didn't receive the package as I think a boor dedication would be amazing!

You sound like good friends and this sounds weird, I'd be concerned about her even if there's probably an innocent explanation that she's just been busy.

If I were you I'd arrange to meet her for a walk or something, then you can chat. It's always so easy to chat when walking in the countryside.

I wouldn't make anything up like saying you're not sure whether you sent a book, it might sound false and manipulative/passive aggressive. Just say you're worried about her because you haven't heard from her in a while and you miss her. Don't do what my friend did and jump in with "right, what did I do to offend you?!" that kinda soured the friendship.

I'm about to dedicate a (boring adult non-fiction) book to someone. It didn't occur to me that it might make anyone feel odd ( though realise I haven't sold the book well on here). I find this baffling, OP. My kids would have been besides themselves and would have taken it into school etc.

How odd. Are you absolutely sure she has received the books? I only ask because I sent my friemail nod a couple of books recently - one never arrived at all and the other, well, somewhere between my posting it and it being delivered to her, it went from a Nigella cook book in tidy packaging to a stamp album in a tatty parcel encased in a post office plastic bag. At some point someone must have opened the parcel and swapped the books.

My friend and I were - and still are - completely mystified by this one, and it was only when she called me that we discovered she'd never received the earlier parcel at all.

I understand why you don't want to call, but there might be a simple explanation. Hope you do get it sorted.

I'd love a book dedication so think your friend is being rather ungrateful to not at least send a quick aw thanks text.

I like the earlier suggestion of "checking" you sent it but then I'm ditsy enough to get away with it.

When it eventually write my children's boom and my husband illiatrates it i shall dedicate them only to animals!!