To not want DH to shoot birds in Yorkshire?

[g1itterati]

AIBU or a bit "precious" please? I'm quite wound up about this since Saturday.

I'm a rep at The DC's school with 2 other mums. One of them is quite a "character" - e.g. she turns up to school runs in green wellies, tweeds and a Barbour jacket as if she's on a farm in god knows where, when in actual fact we're in Central London. She talks loudly that she has to dash as she's late for "the shoot" - though I never quite brought myself to enquire where and what she will be shooting.

When we held a coffee morning at her house, she was about to get her "guns" out (yes, actual guns from a gun cupboard) but fortunately most people had to make a quick exit because of the parking metres. She is from Yorkshire and makes no bones about the fact that she wants to move back up there asap, leave her DH working in London for a few more years and put the DC in a boarding prep. Anyway, each to their own. She is very friendly and actually quite funny.

They asked DH and I over for lunch this weekend. I had told her I was vegetarian to which she said, "Why?" I said I was fine to just have veg and sides, so that was that. Anyway, when we got there, she was making a big thing about how she orders whole dead pheasants from Yorkshire and plucks them herself! Apparently she has then hanging in the "pantry!" Then, after lunch, talk turned to shooting and they proceeded to get out what can only be described as a whole arsenal of guns and then talked us through what they have shot with them!

My AIBU is - her DH has now asked my DH to invest in something or other and he has invited him on a two-day shoot of birds in Yorkshire in Jan! DH has accepted this.

This morning I thanked her when I saw her briefly and she said (laughing) "Your DH is a dark horse, how did you two get together?!" Basically, she is alluding to the fact he was once trained and has used guns professionally and I'm anti- the whole thing.

AIBU to ask DH not to go because I am totally anti- fox-hunting and what is the point of shooting birds for no reason as a sport? Personally, I think it should be made illegal. Or should I just accept that some people are different to me and let it go?

The farm I buy my hay from rears pheasants and I think partridges for shoots. They don’t have a nice life. They’re kept in wooden huts with no light, it’s 100% dark. I’ve peeked through gaps in the planks of wood and it looks so crowded. I have friends who have indoor reared chicken sheds (thousands and thousands of chickens) and the pheasants are in much worse conditions and more crowded.

Then they’re chucked out and have a few weeks of freedom while being shot at and killed.

Out of all the farm animals I’ve come across and I grew up on a sheep and cattle farm pheasants and partridges are the ones I feel the most sorry for.

OP, you sound like a stuck up southerner who's never been north of Watford junction!

Nobody wears wellies in London. I find the whole thing over the top
Yea - cos London has no parks, green spaces or allotments
Perhaps you should take a tip from her and venture further than the end of your own nose?

That moral high ground you're standing on is sinking........choosing a meat eating partner and choosing to cook and feed meat to your family shows your anti-meat stance is lacking integrity and conviction.....

This thread is funny and baffling in equal measure
Firstly the mad woman in question.... lots of wellies? Not a big deal really, there's only three of us in our house and there's often many more pairs of muddy wellies/ boots in the porch.
Guns out over dinner? Not illegal, not dangerous (assuming she didn't have them loaded) possibly acceptable after dinner if the other guests were also into shooting and the gun was something special or old, otherwise just a little weird.
Shooting in London? You don't need to venture terribly far out of the square mile to find shoots. And in any case it's not uncommon to drive some distance to a shoot, even if you live in the country.
Keeping guns in the house? Nobody would keep guns elsewhere unless they owned two properties. The mad woman is at perfect liberty to keep her guns in a cabinet in her house (if she is correctly licensed of course) and transport them in a gun slip, in her car when she's going shooting. She's not allowed to leave them on the back seat and toddle off to Starbucks, but locked in her car and out of sight then she's not breaking any laws.

It's true she does sound like a pretentious knob but IME people who are reasonably new to that way of life can sometimes come across as a bit braying and earnest about it. It's also a way of demonstrating how wealthy you are in the right circles, perhaps she's hoping you'll be impressed by her obvious fortune?

Utter bollocks that people shoot pheasants for food. Yes, a few of them might make it into the pot, but the main reason they do it is because they get a kick out of blasting a living creature out of the sky. How fucking sick is that?!

You mean in your narrow- experience.

I know people who shoot. Small shoots of a few regulars who are as far removed from the toffs in all their gear as you can imagine. They also spend weekends not shooting, but maintaining the countryside on the land, looking after the birds, and bringing home a few to eat. Family members who do this never shoot more than around 4 and then pluck gut and freeze them. or give some to me.

For many small farms it's another source of income. I'd rather they did that and it brought in money through a shoot than they hot-housed chickens, filled them with drugs to combat the diseases brought on by intensive farming, then the chicken is sold in a supermarket for a quid.

I'm not going to get into justifying vegetarianism. I don't make a song and dance about it and never did.

If I was going to "stop" DH doing this, we would have had that conversation yesterday. I wasn't delighted, but my friend's reaction this morning got me more wound up about the whole thing and I can't explain it.

Of course you can get mud in your boots - sorry that came out wrong. I just mean it's quite unusual on a ten minute school run on London pavements to look as if you have come off the moors. Plus she drives to and from school. Anyway, I accept that's none of my business.

PollyPerky your friends still shoot birds because they intrisically enjoy it. Narrow experience? I grew up in the countryside, worked in the local pub frequented by landowners, gamekeepers and people back from a day's shooting and I live in the countryside now. Have always been surrounded by shooting estates (my brother used to go beating) and the local hunt have been regular visitors to my back garden. So just because I don't enjoy blasting my specially reared supper out of the sky, doesn't mean I don't know what goes on.

What happens within intensive meat farming and the dairy industry is far worse then game bird shooting in my opinion.

Neither are great though I don't think you argue it's cruel while eating dairy.

That's cool. I don't mean that in a sarcastic way either - just lots of people have issue with people shooting meat, but are happy to go out and eat it themselves.

Nah! I understand what you mean! I also find there are a lot of double standards with this particular subject, I also have no issue with anyone that is a meat eater! Each to their own I just don't like killing for no reason!

I have no problem with people 'enjoying' the shoot itself. And nobody would throw a fresh pheasant in the bin after. Those birds do end up on tables and as gifts and on the menu of local pubs. It's actually a far more humane process than how most meat gets on the table. And so what if people enjoy it. It's possibly the most basic human activity going back thousands of years.

I was once told that the Met is the largest issuer of shotgun and firearms licences in the country - lots of country types have guns for weekend shoots. Getting the guns out to show them off is odd though.

I shoot targets rather than animals, but I have no issue with those that shoot for food. I dislike shooting live things if you are not planning to eat them. That is just senseless. I'm an ex-veggie and I'd prefer to eat food that has roamed free rather than been intensively farmed.

When I lived at home - Yorkshire - we went shooting after xmas and had a great time - these shoots are very socialable outings. Every bird killed was eaten at some point afterwards - either by the shooter/family or in local restaurants. Your husband will have a great time. Yabvu

I wouldn't want to be with someone that thought this was fine. I find it quite sick tbh.

Lola, are you a vegetarian? If not, I don't think you've a leg to stand on.

OP, I think your DH is being unreasonable and very insensitive. It's an emotive subject and I don't think he should even contemplate going.

it's the whole keeping birds etc that keeps the countryside running
Expect all the gamekeepers who trap, shoot and poison any living creature that dares threaten their stock. I dated 2 game keepers and both of them admitted to killing animals they shouldn't just because they were near their birds. Fuckers.

Why not just let the birds be wild?
Pheasants are bred specifically for "sport". They're not really wild as they've been raised in enclosures then released, which probably explains why they have no street smarts whatsoever. They're basically captive animals that have been released and kept within a certain distance of the shoot.

I don't have a problem with 1 person going out and shooting a rabbit, a deer, a game-bird, whatever, and taking it home to eat, as I think it is far more humane that factory farming,but I hate organised shoots. I find the whole making a fun day out of slaughtering animals, passing around of the hip flasks, comparing guns and Range Rovers, rediculous willy waving that the guns do really distasteful. Plus the oh so thankfull forelock-tugging beaters make me cringe.

I have a very good friend who's husband was a gamekeeper and now still works on these shoots shooting pheasants every weekend. I am also very anti hunt / anti bloodsports. I just have to try not to think about it too much when I visit otherwise it woukd ruin our friendship. I think I have just come to realise that country life is very different and country folk see things in a different way. I also really didnt like the way they keep their working dogs.

"The idyllic impression that many have of ‘game’ bird shooting, in which wild birds are skilfully plucked from the sky by marksmen then taken home for a feast, is nothing but a sham.

Investigations, undercover filming, scientific research and economic analysis reveals that commercial shooting in the UK is nothing but a cynical industry which exploits loopholes in animal welfare laws, puts our landscape at risk and exaggerates any financial benefit to the economy.

In terms of the numbers of animals persecuted and killed, no other cruel sport in the UK has such a devastating impact on animals as commercial 'game' bird shooting."

Basically some people just take pleasure in killing stuff and will justify it in any way they can.

It is not a better way to eat meat. The birds are not truly free range. They have no prospects of survival. Some people can pay over £1,000 for a days shooting - that's the cost of the entertainment not ensuring you are eating a bird who has had a 'better life'. And not all the birds shot get eaten, you just have to google images to see piles of birds left to rot as they are not needed. And finally, birds reared for shooting are often raised in simair ways to other birds, but are released just prior to shooting, if this was about a happier bird, then they would be killed prior to release so they didn't be left to get run over by cars, shot but only injured and left to die, or be eaten by other animals.

www.league.org.uk/shooting

This is country vs Town isn't it?

OP, I'm a farm girl - I can't pretend to understand how you could possibly live cheek by jowl in a city with no huge skies , fresh air or animals.

So we live and let live within the confines of the law, no?

You sound smug and a bit thick.

Judging by the number of pheasants I see running around, the vast majority don’t get shot or eaten. Loads of people shoot.

Why does your DH have to defer to you? Surely he can make up his own mind? Or do you always expect your own way? You seem to want a doormat for a DH. He likes racing so it’s likely he will have accepted the invitation as a thank you for the racing invite. It’s no big deal and thankfully you were not invited.

If the birds are hanging in her pantry then they aren't shot for no reason—they're food. They have a better life and kinder death than the chickens we buy in the supermarket.

Fox hunting is entirely different on every level.

Having thought about it, I think it irks me on two fronts. By far the main issue I have is uneccessary killing of birds. I bet some of them get wasted or not even picked up. It's not for food, it's a sport. Why not just buy one from your local butcher if you really must?

The other thing is, it feels like there is a certain status-led drive to it. I'm not British. DH is British, but he has s mixed ethnicity and our surname is not easy to place. My friend had assumed he was from the same country as me, but now that she knows he may have known so-and-so in the British military years ago, it's as if he's suddenly sprung into favour with her as the right type. This annoys me a little I have to admit. When she said this morning, "how did you two get together?" As if we were an unlikely combo, I thought that was odd because neither of us define ourselves by shooting / not shooting anyway. I'm not an animal right activist, but I'm starting to feel like one.

As it is, DH is not into blood sports at all, but he's not vegetarian and not as against it as I am. He would no way go fox hunting, I do know that. I think I will just have to let this one go and hope they miss as many birds as possible.

connectfour - the vast majority of people in this country don't feel the need to go off shooting wildlife and rearing it for that purpose, so if not wanting my family to get dragged into this makes me a "bit thick" then so be it.

It looks like a delightful industry:

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/shocking-footage-reveals-cruel-reality-7442013.amp

People I know who shoot admit that they aren't interested in the carcasses, save one or two at the most. Pheasant isn't a massively popular meat.

Personally the idea of killing for fun - which a shoot is - makes me feel sick. There is a difference between shooting one bird to eat and going out for a day to compete about who can shoot the most. I couldn't do the former myself, having been veggie since I was 12, but I could understand it. I could never understand the latter.

G1itterati, funnily enough though the majority of the country do feel the need to get other people to intensively farm and slaughter questionably masses and masses of meat for their tables, and unless you and your family are vegetarian I think you are well dragged into it. You just didn't realise.

Why not let the birds be wild!!!!!!!!! Pheasants are NOT NATIVE YOU THICK