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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull out because of programme at Christmas concert

331 replies

Whyamistillawake · 10/12/2017 17:28

I've been going to a choir since September, most of which has been practising for the Christmas concert this week.

We've just had the final rehearsal in which they've introduced a duet which us two people (not including me) singing 'Baby it's cold outside'.

Am I overreacting to pull out? At the moment I don't see how I can sit there through it.

OP posts:
curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 17:38

WE have to work on reality, not everyones individual feelings on reality.
The song doesn't mean what she thinks it means, and that is that.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/12/2017 17:39

Ah, mea culpa! Though I suspect you meant the Katie Perry song I have (thankfully) never heard of!

Mainly because I hate such songs and think they should be kept of the radio. But the song the OP dislikes isn't one of them, for me.

I shall slope off and have strong words with myself!

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 17:41

WE have to work on reality, not everyones individual feelings on reality.
The song doesn't mean what she thinks it means, and that is that.

She still finds it triggering, regardless of how harmless you find the song. And since it’s her thread, maybe a tiny bit of sympathy or even a recognition that she feels this way?

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 11/12/2017 17:42

pumper
In fairness the op's discussion is about song lyrics and what they actually mean, it's perfectly natural for it to spin off into other songs.

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 17:42

I cross posted with you Samphire and missed yours, but thank you Flowers

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 17:44

Captain I don’t think that it’s necessary for posters to find ‘worse’ songs than the one the OP has found triggering.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 17:50

Worse as in far more nefarious but not related to the topic that triggered her.

I wouldn’t be bossed around by Pumper Samphire, you’ve made very good points and I agree with you.

VladmirsPoutine · 11/12/2017 17:51

Pumper With all due respect WTF are you on? Grin
This isn't aversion therapy - the discussion had moved on.

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 18:02

I’m only asking people to be a bit more considerate of the OP’s feelings since we know she’s a victim of sexual assault. I really don’t think that’s a big ask.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 18:14

Well I was raped when I was 11 I’m not asking for special favours.

I did not post lyrics about rape or coercion or sexual assault, nor would I in the circumstances. I posted lyrics on a completely different subject which in my view are far more offensive and damaging than a twee ditty from the 40s.

We have much bigger problems in 2017 and we need to pick our battles wisely. There are songs I don’t think should be on the radio at all.

callmeadoctor · 11/12/2017 18:16

I think that I personally would find it odd that this song is something that would worry you, given the horrible things that are happening in the world. Fairly insignificant problem to be fair. If you don't like it, don't go. Problem solved Grin

catwoozle · 11/12/2017 18:19

There are songs I don’t think should be on the radio at all

Like what? Pop music is really very anodyne and inoffensive at the moment. Loads more sexist, offensive crap from 15 years plus ago.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 18:21

Like the Katy Perry - why a woman would ever want to be associated with those lyrics I don’t know.

I particularly don’t want my DD or my DS for that matter singing those lyrics and internalising them.

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 18:22

I’m truly sorry that happened to you Tatiana Flowers

I’m afraid I can’t say more than I already have.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 11/12/2017 18:23

There is nothing more dismissive and less sisterly than telling other women to get a grip, particularly when it comes to stuff like this

I agree.

Just let people have a different pov without the nastiness.

Geordie1944 · 11/12/2017 18:25

How incredibly pompous [not to mention dirty-minded] of you. You need something to worry about if you ask me.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 18:31

While there’s a lot of rap going back to the 80s that was really offensive, I think music has got much sexualised and explicit even in the last 15 years, so no I don’t agree with that.

Blurred Lines was only a few years ago.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/12/2017 18:35

Like what? Pop music is really very anodyne and inoffensive at the moment. Loads more sexist, offensive crap from 15 years plus ago.

Mm! So that Katie Perry song is an old one is it? The Calvin Harris and Kate Perry one too?

There are loads of current pop songs that have very odd lyrics...

And I did say that I thought they didn't belong on the radio, not that they should be banned or anything. Just that I don't like them, I find some of them objectionable. It's just as well I hadn't heard that Katie Perry track, I may have had to pull over and written an Angry of TWs style communication Smile

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/12/2017 18:37

Oooh! That wasn't me you were quoting, catwoozle, though I did say something very similar Smile

catwoozle · 11/12/2017 18:37

I'm sorry about what happened to you too Tatiana. Blurred Lines I agree with. Katy Perry not so much. Videos are nowhere near as sexualised and explicit now as they were ten years ago.

Plus the fact there is nothing wrong with singing about consensual sex. Songa which minimise rape or lack of consent or imply no means yes are another matter.

catwoozle · 11/12/2017 18:40

I didn't quote anyone, Curious.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 18:46

I don’t really know what could be more sexualised than offering yourself as a meal to a man - with a prostitution/payment theme going on. I haven’t seen the video so I can’t comment on that.

RidingWindhorses · 11/12/2017 18:53

The video for Bon Appetit is grim.

MissyMoooo · 11/12/2017 19:01

I heard this song on the radio this morning and it’s the first time I’ve really listened to the words and I thought exactly the same as you OP. The lyrics are horrible and creepy IMO x

isawahatonce · 11/12/2017 19:15

I'm pretty sure the song was much less worrying when it was first written than it is interpreted these days - I don't know too much but I'm pretty sure the line 'what's in this drink' is referring to alcohol, not drugs. Also, I think the connotations were originally less sexual - like, maybe he's just trying to get a snog, not anything more? and the way it's usually acted is very flirty on her behalf, like she's playing with him rather than actually wanting to leave.
If you want to pull out, it's your call, but I think it's an overreaction to be honest.