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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull out because of programme at Christmas concert

331 replies

Whyamistillawake · 10/12/2017 17:28

I've been going to a choir since September, most of which has been practising for the Christmas concert this week.

We've just had the final rehearsal in which they've introduced a duet which us two people (not including me) singing 'Baby it's cold outside'.

Am I overreacting to pull out? At the moment I don't see how I can sit there through it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whyamistillawake · 11/12/2017 15:22

Fair enough SoupDragon. Missed that usage.

I still don't THINK "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh maybe yes, no, no, no, no, oh OK then you've worn me down yes" is something to be accepted in society. I don't think it's rape, I do think it's unacceptable pressure.

Separately, I still think that art forms are interpreted by how they are seen, not necessarily how the artist initially interpreted meaning that different people can see different things in a painting. I think this song has been interpreted by various people over the years as being a different situation to the both willing seduction scenario (and again the film clip seems evidence of that). I also think that the original artist sold it to MGM and (maybe?) approved it to be used in that way.

That of course depends on whether you think there is only one interpretation of a song which must be the author's interpretation. That is probably a debate for another thread.

I do probably need up step away and stop prolonging the thread fatigue!

OP posts:
curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 15:30

Nice clear assertion but no supporting argument

Try the entire thread for the supporting argument. Also the fact that you are completely wrong. Hmm

ProperLavs · 11/12/2017 15:33

The writer's/authors intention is the only thing that matter fgs. If others choose to skew and change the meaning at a later date then that is their issue. I can't see how that is not as obvious as the nose on everyone's face.

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 15:37

It is, Proper, it's just that some people are determined to make it something else.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 15:40

She really wanted to stay and have sex but she just couldn't admit it

Well no she really wanted to stay but there was a lot of social pressure for her to leave.

We’re going to have to blacklist ‘Why don’t you stay’ by Bob Seger, ‘Don’t you wanna stay’ by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson and ‘Stay with me’ by Sam Smith at this rate.

Nikephorus · 11/12/2017 15:44

Oh FFS, she's not being worn down, she doesn't want to go home & she's looking for reasons to stay until the snow is so deep that she physically can't be expected to leave.
What next OP? Can't do 'Walking in the Air' because really it depicts the abduction of a little boy by someone cleverly disguised as a snowman? Nor 'I wish it could be Christmas every day' because it's sending out the message that we should only celebrate Christian festivals (with possible pagan influences)? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is out because of its underlying bullying tones? Still, I guess we'll be quite good at miming Silent Night by the time you've finished...

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 15:50

Meanwhile you never hear people complaining about actually seriously problematic songs...kareoke fave Delilah, for example. Jealous man stabs woman to death, people sing it at weddings. They have Every Breath you take as a first dance, as if it wasn't about obsessive stalking.

Original poster
Whyamistillawake · 11/12/2017 15:52

The good thing that has come out of this is I've now had a discussion with DH on why I find it triggering (he agrees with you all btw).

OP posts:
CaptainKirkssparetupee · 11/12/2017 15:55

Gary pluckett's young girl is pretty dodgy too curry, its literally about a man and an underage girl.

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 11/12/2017 16:02

That's the actual meaning too, she's a baby in make up who the man can't stop thinking about, knows she's too young and blame s for wearing make up. I've never seen anyone discuss the subject matter before.

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 16:03

Kids favourite Busted with All the Way, telling teen girls that its bad to say stop after you've said yes? Ur so Gay by Katy Perry? Animals by maroon 5? Justin Biebers What do you mean?

Seriously, wtf are we doing talking about a cutesy little song from 70 years ago when we are surrounded by so much worse?

VladmirsPoutine · 11/12/2017 16:04

Can we ban Little Mix whilst we're at it? Grin

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 16:06

yes please!

Sullabylullaby · 11/12/2017 16:18

As for Rod Stewart and Maggie May....

WitchesHatRim · 11/12/2017 16:20

Can we ban Little Mix whilst we're at it?

I'm all for that Xmas Grin

catwoozle · 11/12/2017 16:26

I wouldn't want to hear BICO at a concert because it's so dated, regardless of whether the content is triggering or offensive. A couple of singers simpering away to one another - bleurgh, no thanks.

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 16:29

So I know we all have different opinions on this thread but please keep in mind that the OP has said twice now that she finds the song triggering due to past abuse. So you might disagree with that, but taking the piss really is beyond the pale.

LittleMissMarker · 11/12/2017 16:46

Try the entire thread for the supporting argument.

I already read the whole thread before I posted.

curryforbreakfast · 11/12/2017 16:49

And yet you still asked for the arguments that had been given repeatedly. How strange Confused

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 17:06

Talking of Katy Perry - some of the Bon Appetit lyrics:

‘Cause I'm all that you want, boy
All that you can have, boy
Got me spread like a buffet
Bon a, bon appétit, baby

‘So you want some more
Well I'm open 24
Wanna keep you satisfied
Customer's always right’

No waterfall, she drippin' wet, you like my ice?
Said she want a Migo night, I ask her, "What's the price?"
If she do right, told her get whatever you like
I grab her legs and now divide, aight

Make her do a donut when she ride, aight.

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 17:14

Tatiana is it likely that the OP is going to be singing Bon Appetit with her choir? Or are you looking to find another song that she might find triggering?

Lots of songs have unpalatable lyrics, I suggest starting your own thread if you fancy a discussion about that.

TatianaLarina · 11/12/2017 17:23

I would politely suggest you don’t tell me how to post.

The discussion has moved on and my post was wrt curry’s point above:

wtf are we doing talking about a cutesy little song from 70 years ago when we are surrounded by so much worse?

This was an example of so much worse it’s actually horrifying.

And no I don’t see why it would be triggering to the OP as it’s not on the subject of coercing someone into sex, but a woman presenting herself as a meal with some references to prostitution.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/12/2017 17:26

And that other weird one.

It's odd enough when you hear

"I know you're not afraid to catch fish"

But the real words are so much more 'lets ignore consent' than much else I've heard recently

Do you mind if I steal a kiss? (Chop, chop)
A little souvenir, can I steal it from you?
To memorize the way you shock me
The way you move it here (Hey)
Just wanna feel it from you (Hey)

Don't be afraid to catch feels
Ride drop top and chase thrills (Hey)
I know you ain't afraid to pop pills (Hey)
Baby, I know you ain't scared to catch feels
Feels with me

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/12/2017 17:29

Oh no, it still doesn't beat that nasty song by Paolo Nuttini, the one he says he isn't going to leave until she kisses, hugs, has sex with him!

That one is still the worst I have heard in a while, mainly because that IS what the song is about!

Pumperthepumper · 11/12/2017 17:35

‘That cutesy little song’ is the one that the OP has said she finds triggering. Yet you felt the need to go and find one ‘so much worse’?

It doesn’t matter what your opinion of the song is, it doesn’t matter what my opinion of the song is. The OP has said she finds it triggering, so why twist the knife? Kindness?