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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/12/2017 07:55

Bloody hell op that really goes take cheeky fuckery to new levels. I gasped when I read what she'd done! Batshit!

Good for you for reporting! Hope they both get their comeuppance

WelshMoth · 10/12/2017 07:57

OP I read the RTFT (both) last night and I'm aghast at the sense of entitlement.

Sadly, having taught teenagers for years and years, we see this self-entitlement rather a lot and it starts young. It seems incredible that this skewed logic hasn't been nipped in the bud and challengers before now though - how old is this woman!

I'd not hesitate in pursuing a criminal prosecution on this - you'll be doing this family and everyone who deals with them, a public service.

I wonder how the Mum's friends will feel having to lie for their mate. Surely they must have witnessed the whole thing?

Bonkers situation OP, but I wouldn't take it. No way.

HuskyMcClusky · 10/12/2017 08:02

I'd not hesitate in pursuing a criminal prosecution on this

You wouldn’t? Really?

Bearsinmotion · 10/12/2017 08:03

Sadly OP I don’t think even reporting to the police will convince them they are in the wrong as the CF clearly thinks her mum was reasonable to tip her coffee in your bag, she’ll just see it as victimisation. Genuinely 😱 though!

gwondle · 10/12/2017 08:04

Report to the police, clearly.

woofmiaowwoof · 10/12/2017 08:13

I’d have been tempted to let it go butntheie self righteousness bothers me, and I also suspect this might not be the last of it.

They are both horrible - CF deserved what she got for lying, then she tried to lie her way out of it asking you for a reference, then her Mum resorts to damaging your property and CF follows up with a text - they are awful...

Newbie007 · 10/12/2017 08:23

Didn't one of the new jobs she applied to know that she was lying anyway as bil realised you had been given elevated status.
This is awful and yes actions have consequences.....theirs!

Whinesalot · 10/12/2017 08:32

Hopefully, whilst the friends may have originally being on the mothers side when told the tale, even they will think she took it too far pouring coffee in a bag. Maybe they then gave her grief i hope so which contributed to ruining the mothers day.

RaeSkywalker · 10/12/2017 08:35

Hope today goes ok about

Hortonlovesahoo · 10/12/2017 08:40

I’ve just read all of the old thread and I’m utterly astounded by the behaviour of this person! I’m glad that you’ve managed to have cctv and reported it to the police. It’s awful behaviour!

SoupDragon · 10/12/2017 08:48

Absolutely notplonking down a placemarking 👜

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 10/12/2017 08:49

Hey op. I remember your old post. Sorry to hear the batshit colleague has a batshit family too.

Glad you have reported it. I would too. Its criminal damage with intent. The cafe owners sound great. You have it all on cctv. I don't know how she can even come back from this.

Good idea reporting to your boss too. I can't believe she holds you somehow responsible for being such a fuckwit at work

It's a bit early but here you go Gin (maybe save it for later!)

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/12/2017 08:50

I would report it to the police, too. SHe's clearly batshit, and could escalate this. And she may do it to someone else who pee's her off (and perhaps has in the past and has got away with it, which is why she felt she could do it to you.).

Nip this in the bud.

Cagliostro · 10/12/2017 09:05

Nutters the lot of them!

honeysucklejasmine · 10/12/2017 09:06

mummy because it was 4am, I was up for the millionth time with baby and wanted to type something quickly whilst I could see kind of straight.

Now I have gone back and read the whole of the linked too thread, and this one again, I am more able to write a constructive comment rather than a transparent platitude with no meaning. Is that ok with you? Hmm

OP you did very well to remain so calm with her throughout the whole saga. I think I would have lost it when she asked me to lie about being her line manager. I hope the PCSOs get out to you at some point soon, her mother can't think that was acceptable. I wonder what her friends thought! I would be mortified if a friend acted that way.

SauvignonBlanche · 10/12/2017 09:09

Sorry you had such a horrible experience Flowers.
They’re both obviously batshit crazy, glad to hear you reported it - actions have consequences indeed. [Grin

Off to read first thread now!

Pannacott · 10/12/2017 09:13

Good for you, glad circumstances made it easier to report it. I reported something similar recently - the other person admitted it and so it went down a 'Restorative justice' route (I agreed to this). She wrote a brief and slightly annoying 'I'm embarrassed, let's put this behind us and move on' email. I'd have preferred more grovelling. But anyway, it must have been uncomfortable for her and it is on her police record now, I'm so pleased she didn't get away with it.

BellyDancer124 · 10/12/2017 09:13

If someone poured a coffee into my handbag I would not be responsible for my actions 😡 my bags are my babies!!! So disrespectful also. YANBU at all

JingleBellsFartlekSmells · 10/12/2017 09:15

Click link to first thread...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/12/2017 09:15

I'd be playing the "actions have consequences" as a threat of more to come.

Hissy · 10/12/2017 09:15

From her text, seems like the mother has said something to suggest YOU provoked the M...

I'm glad you have police support

These people are crazy!!!

LloydSpinjago · 10/12/2017 09:16

'Assault. At Common Law, an intentional act by one person that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive contact. An assault is carried out by a threat of bodily harm coupled with an apparent, present ability to cause the harm. Once she approached you she created a feeling of apprehension and with the pouring of the brew into your property she she has created the ability to cause harm

Why copy and paste stuff you clearly don't understand? Confused

Where was the threat of bodily harm?

Once she approached you she created a feeling of apprehension
Not how it works. It's not a feeling of apprehension. It's an apprehension of immediate personal harm.

with the pouring of the brew into your property she she has created the ability to cause harm That's really not how it works. At all. It's harm to the person, not property. As demonstrated in your quote. In fact what you've posted doesn't even make sense logically let alone legally.

Why give legal advice when you are clearly unqualified to do so? As others have said, it's criminal damage.

Pearlsaringer · 10/12/2017 09:22

Followed your thread and am feeling guilty for not chipping in offering my support when you were getting a hard time. You were definitely not BU in wanting to get CF’s antics curtailed and you are absolutely right to say that it was public money being wasted while this went unchecked, so good for you for following through.

Now you are dealing with a new level of crazy.

Yes to getting the police involved, this is harassment.

Yes also to flagging this up with personnel/HR and your line manager. They have a responsibility to you as their employee, given that this started on their watch. You seem strong and together, but if you were to develop anxiety or PTSD as a consequence of this so that you yourself needed time off, it will help if you have provided them with this evidence.

Needless to say, keep a diary of all relevant events, including how you are feeling day to day as a consequence of this.

Hopefully that’s the last you’ll hear of this loon. Flowers

HuskyMcClusky · 10/12/2017 09:26

if you were to develop anxiety or PTSD as a consequence of this

PTSD from someone chucking coffee in her Kipling handbag?

Come the fuck on.

NeverTwerkNaked · 10/12/2017 09:27

Glad you have reported it to police, and yes you definitely need to let your workplace know too