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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 10/12/2017 04:07

.

tralaaa · 10/12/2017 04:45

Read other thread now place marking

Jengnr · 10/12/2017 04:53

Wow! The gall of some people.

Hope the gin calmed your nerves OP.

Evilstepmum01 · 10/12/2017 04:54

Yikes, thats a crazy family! who does that and thinks its ok?
Bet she went home and is bigging herself up to her daughter 'Oh, I taught Abouttoblow a lesson'!!

Enjoy teaching her that 'actions have consequences', especially when one assaults someone.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/12/2017 05:48

honeysuckle
Tralaaa

Why can’t you just make a comment instead of a full stop or a placemark? Is it really that difficult to say one thing even just “wow”, which could mean supportive or unsupportive for example?

IggyAce · 10/12/2017 06:08

OP I remember your other thread and I can't believe what her mother has done, crazy definitely runs in the family. Pleased to hear you're reporting to the police and please inform work too.

FolderReformedScruncher · 10/12/2017 06:27

See if there's CCTV and then police or small claims court. Get the bitch a CCJ,

WasDoingFine · 10/12/2017 06:30

Gather you didn't read the thread....

noenergy · 10/12/2017 06:42

Remember reading your other thread when u first posted it but didn't keep up to date. Just read it now. Was a good result but can't believe some people are so entitled.

As for what happened yesterday words cannot describe. Think your lucky she didn't physically assault u or throw the coffee over your head.

Good to hear you are taking it further and that there is cctv footage as for all you know she could have turned it against you and accused you of all sorts.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 10/12/2017 06:55

I read your other thread at the time and am now just Shock

Also very sorry for you. Someone was needlessly aggressive to me yesterday at a christmassy thing - when they were in the wrong - and it actually really shook me up. That must have been horrible for you.

For those saying that the mother clearly hasn't been given the full facts by her daughter - I suspect she has actually, but the mother is one of those who thinks the daughter is right at all costs. What a fucking awful family. At least you haven't inadvertently married into it or something, bright sides and all that Grin

BlondeB83 · 10/12/2017 06:56

Bloody hell! Now you know where she gets it from!

BhajiAllTheWay · 10/12/2017 07:08

OP you need to be careful. So glad you've reported it.Tell as many people as you can around you, so they can "look out" for you. If they are so delusional then theres going to be no reasoning with them. There are people like this who never get over what they see as injustice and are hellbent on revenge. I worked with one..she thought I took her job. Won't go into details but your post rings alarm bells. Just be vigilant OP, might sound alarmist but it could escalate. Flowers

Pengggwn · 10/12/2017 07:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun · 10/12/2017 07:13

My experience of a certain type of person - becoming, I suspect, more common these days - is that, the more out of order they are, the more determined they are to blame it on someone else. It's not their fault for stealing; it's the shopkeeper's fault for reporting it, sort of thing. They have to do what they perceive they have to do and the rest of the world is expected to bend around them. Supreme egotism.

HuskyMcClusky · 10/12/2017 07:18

Your husband has already made a report to the police, and now they’re coming round tomorrow to get even more details?

Do you live in a hamlet of 14 people? Confused

greendale17 · 10/12/2017 07:21

One issue to consider is that the mother instantly recognised you even though you had no idea who she was. It's probably a stretch too far to suggest that the pair of them are stalking you, but they certainly seem to be gettting into the beginnings of a harassment campaign. It would be worth trying to get some restrictions in place to stop them contacting you, and double check your social media security.

^Definitely this.

Coconutspongexo · 10/12/2017 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Efferlunt · 10/12/2017 07:27

Wow when my DH was full on assaulted in a road rage incident the police couldn’t care less. Guess that’s the difference between living in London and a large town! It must have been horrible. Pleased they are taking it seriously.

Tinkie25 · 10/12/2017 07:30

Just read both threads wow!

You did the right thing going to the police.

bunbunny · 10/12/2017 07:32

Glad to see you've / dh /cafe owner reported it and police are being supportive. They both deserve it.

I'm not glad that this happened, please don't think that. But given the way they both seem to be all sorts of crazy and given the mum was happy to do this in front of her friends, she sounds crazy enough that you can imagine that she has been planning or fantasising about doing something like this if she bumps into you.

So given that there has been a strong possibility that something was going to happen, it's excellent that it happened in this cafe that has cctv to record everything, that the cafe owner - who doesn't particularly know you other than as an ordinary non-coffee-pouring customer - thought it so wrong that he contacted the police himself and has kept the cctv specially, and that the community police officer it was first reported to agreed with him and thought it was something worth following up.

Even though you too are reporting, the fact the cafe owner reported it first means that they can't accuse you of ruining their lives even further by going to the police because somebody else did that.

If this had happened elsewhere she could have hit or tripped you or thrown something over you or who knows what - with no witnesses (or worse, her friends that would have twisted things) or cctv. So if something was going to happen it's good that it happened the way it did.

I wouldn't reply to the text message but I wouldn't block her just yet - if the police do go around for a chat or more, chances are she will send more text messages that will be similarly loopy and will give more evidence to show she is unhinged and harassing you. Plus give a heads up if she threatens anything else.

Then when you have had enough you can reply to one message with a quick 'please do not contact me again, if you do it will be harassment and I will go to the police' reply that means if she does try to contact you you can escalate it to the police.

Hope it all goes well when you do your actual report!

Groovee · 10/12/2017 07:35

My goodness! The mother had her day ruined, she got all her friends to stare at you and then threw coffee over your property! I reckon they are stalking you on social media.

I hope they both realise actions have consequences when the police turn up.

CircleofWillis · 10/12/2017 07:39

About, do you think it is possible that they are aware of the previous thread? It would be immediately outing for you if they stumbled across it.

MrsJamin · 10/12/2017 07:46

Wow, just caught up with the original thread. Can't believe you had such little support from other posters initially. Sorry you were harassed by her mother, I wonder just how many lies FTCF has told her over the years that she has believed! Well done for reporting it. I would get your work number changed so she can't contact you.

blueskyinmarch · 10/12/2017 07:50

Blimey. I can't get my head round why you were to blame for ruining her day out when all you did was have coffee. She ruined your day out by tipping coffee in your bag. The whole family sounds nuts.

MyNameIsJane · 10/12/2017 07:53

Good luck today and I hope FTCF and her Mum get a good talking to!