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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
Pearlsaringer · 10/12/2017 09:31

Didn’t say PTSD was likely, just possible, and it is. You come the fuck on.Smile

CoraPirbright · 10/12/2017 09:34

So glad you are reporting this nightmare to the police. If it is the start of a harassment campaign, a paper trail will be invaluable. And hurrah for the cafe owner and local bobbies.

Can I just point out that not only is this woman horribly agressive and slightly off her rocker but she waited until your dh had gone to the loo so that makes her a fucking coward as well. Angry on your behalf.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 10/12/2017 09:36

Morning.
I've woken up this morning feeling a bit Blush that DH reported it last night. There's much more important stuff going on.
If police come round today, and are willing to do it, I'll ask them to have a word with her and leave it at that.
Will let you know what happens.

OP posts:
ThatWasNotLove · 10/12/2017 09:37

Has your manager replied OP?

I read that text as a threat too. Work definitely need to be involved in this..somehow. At least to know what's happening and being kept updated. And to support you.

Mousewatch · 10/12/2017 09:38

Bloody hell, what a bloody bitch! Hope you get it sorted op.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 10/12/2017 09:38

No! Don't be embarrassed.

She is beyond cheeky fuckery. And if she gets away with this who know where it might end (sorry to be so dramatic!)

You have done nothing wrong. So you have nothing to be embarrassed about

Actions DO have consequences. And pouring a drink into someone's bag does have a consequence

See what the police say but don't be frightened into letting her get away with it

She'll be back for more if she thinks you'll just forgive her every mad action

MarmiteandToast · 10/12/2017 09:39

Please don't feel embarrassed OP

This is important too. Unfortunately have seen this entitled type of person a few times in RL (usually in a work situation!) and it's just amazing how they can't see when they are wrong (drives me mad)

FruitCider · 10/12/2017 09:40

Don’t be embarrassed! What if it’s your arm/face next time? It needs dealing with OP x

ThatWasNotLove · 10/12/2017 09:40

Xpost.

You realise that there were people who witnessed it who reported it before you, so that means they thought it was bad.

You're downplaying it because you don't want to make a fuss. Sometimes there needs to be one.

And don't be embarrassed for someone else's behaviour! You were literally sitting minding your own business!!

GreenTulips · 10/12/2017 09:41

OP epeople like this are rarely one trick ponies , they have the attitude they can do what they like how they like

Now a community officer will pop round and speak to them about the charges you could make, and the consequences of those charges

Criminal record, fines, community orders etc

As it's captured on CVTV it's clear what happened so she can't say it's not true

This will at least make them think twice - it's irrelevant how just the police are, they want to prevent a bigger issue.

diddl · 10/12/2017 09:47

It was the right thing to do, Op.

Don't downplay it.

Was she shouting/aggressive, close/intimidating?

Did you think that she might throw the coffee at you?

woofmiaowwoof · 10/12/2017 09:50

Don’t feel embarrassed - like I said usually I’d leave it but I do think there are signs these bullies won’t leave it here so need a stern warning.

LloydSpinjago · 10/12/2017 09:51

Abboutablow. Honestly most officers would be more than happy to take the job on. You've got CCTV and a genuine example of cunty behaviour with witnesses. There's lines of enquiry and the job would actually go somewhere.

Yes there's much more important stuff going on, but there's also lots more dross. I'd certainly be happier with your job then going to see aaaiiimmmee maii* because her ex called her a sket on Facebook.

*Other names with superfluous vowels are available.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/12/2017 09:53

Don't feel embarrassed, bloody hell! She ruined your personal belongings and her daughter threatened you over text.

Please tell your work as well and make sure you remain vigilant. Anything else happens and you report it to the police.

JaneEyre70 · 10/12/2017 09:53

Don't tell your DH but you can put a Kipling bag in the washing machine.....I regularly wash mine, at 30 or even 40. They are very resilient lol. Glad you've reported.

TheVoiceOfTreason · 10/12/2017 09:53

From a legal perspective, reporting it was the right thing to do. The combination of the mother's behaviour and the daughter's follow up text suggest to me that this is an escalating situation rather than one where they are letting off some steam and will then calm down. Most likely outcome is the police will give them each a harassment warning, and that should put them on notice that if they continue in this vein, you will consider it harassment, and that they can be punished for this. If the harassment warning has the desired effect though, it will up it in the bud.

Fingers crossed they get the message soon. You should not have to deal with this, or to feel bad about reporting it to protect yourself....

Xxxx

justilou1 · 10/12/2017 09:54

Good grief! What a weird family!!! I'm sorry that this happened to you. VERY pleased that it's on cctv and her approaching you to do this is available for the police to use. (Even if just to have a word...). I have a feeling if you pretended that this didn't happen, their behaviour would escalate if they see you again.

youarenotkiddingme · 10/12/2017 09:55

So sorry about coffee incident. Personally I’d report via 111.

But FTCF thread has just provided me with a good read this morning Shock

I’m actually most chocked at the number of MNers saying to just ignore her taking the piss at the beginning.

Doingthebattybat · 10/12/2017 09:55

Glad you reported. Don’t feel embarrassed. Imo it’s about what she might do next time she sees you rather than what she did yesterday (which was bad enough). This needs stopping in case she has any more bright ideas.

gingergenius · 10/12/2017 09:56

Remember your thread from before and have just read through this! Don't be Blush. If this isn't nipped in the best d now it will turn into a campaign of harassment. Stupid idiots.

woofmiaowwoof · 10/12/2017 09:58

At the start i wasn’t sure but the follow up text from CF showing self righteousness and determination to carry on their campaign makes me think op absolutely did the right thing.

Clearly staff and coffee shop owner who witnessed it think op should report too.

Billben · 10/12/2017 09:59

Don’t downplay it. People like her need to get their come uppance. I would be going as far as I could with this to be honest, but then again I don’t tend to take prisoners 😀 and something is telling me that just a simple chat from the police is not going to get through to her and make her see how wrong is what she’s done. She’ll just hate you even more and good luck to you the next time you bump into her.

woofmiaowwoof · 10/12/2017 09:59

If CF had shown remorse and distanced herself from her DM I might see it different but then if she was like that she wouldn’t be the persistent CF she is!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 10/12/2017 09:59

Her mother must have lied to her about what happened. That is in no way a sane response!

woofmiaowwoof · 10/12/2017 10:01

Her DM presumably didn’t leave out the main fact that she dumped coffee in op’s handbag. My DM wouldn’t do that on my behalf and if she did, I’d not back her up with that follow up text...CF has shown other signs of being delusional.

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