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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
Farrah87 · 11/12/2017 18:56

Just read both threads and wow...! Sorry you've had to put up with psycho mum and her CF daughter OP! X

jayne1976 · 11/12/2017 19:05

Ask the police to go give her a talking to. Whilst I know they’re busy - her behaviour is criminal damage and you need a record of it

salsah · 11/12/2017 19:16

This would be hilarious in a movie! I want to say don't let her get away with it, go to the police for damage etc, but it'll take up so much emotional energy. Clearly things are not going well for CF mother or the CF daughter so that is enough. And maybe dry clean your bag to get rid of the negative vibe (and coffee)

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 11/12/2017 19:26

Hi All
No news from police yet so I'm thinking they haven't managed to speak to her.
Had a meeting with boss today and passed on all the emails. Organisation are not happy and I think there will be developments on that front. Again, I can't say too much about the job without giving away what we do but we do have rules and regulations about honesty and transparency. Company are obviously not getting involved in the handbag situation Smile
Will definitely let you know when police get in touch though.

OP posts:
Anatidae · 11/12/2017 19:30

Blimey.

Well, at least you can see where CF gets it from. Honestly gobsmacked at this. She could have scalded you with the coffee as well as wrecking your bag.
Good luck with the police. And work. Definitely the right thing reporting it.

ReanimatedSGB · 11/12/2017 19:38

About time this wretched woman was brought up short. Hope you are feeling less wobbly today OP.

Killerfiller · 11/12/2017 19:38

WOW Shock

Hulder · 11/12/2017 19:41

Are you by any chance in a regulated profession?

This is the sort of thing that gets you referred to your regulatory body.

Grumpyrealist77 · 11/12/2017 19:45

It’s all well and good for us “normal,” non-batshitty types, but FTCF OBVIOUSLY told her CF mother a whole pack of lies about her resignation and further dealings with you OP. She will have painted you in a terrible light, made you out to be the reason she HAD to resign and you are the one and only reason why she now can’t get another cheeky fuckery job!!!
Fast forward to second post, and CF mother has OBVIOUSLY told FTCF daughter you did something sooo offensive and horrible to/at her over your cappuccino mug that she turned into a quivering wreck and now can’t leave the house (if only!!).
Both of them are feeding each other with lies and it’s doubling up onto you. They both think they are in the right and defending each other from your “terrible” behaviour.
But you know the true circumstances of both situations. They can spin them as much as they like but it’s easy for ALL non-batshit types to see the bs.
You have handled yourself admirably and have no reason to question any of your actions. Please do be careful. They sound scary as hell.
Good luck.

Cupoteap · 11/12/2017 19:49
Shock
JuneyK · 11/12/2017 19:55

This is the most compelling thing I’ve read in ages. She’s going to end up talking herself into a restraining order and a caution and you won’t really have done anything. Is this all because you politely refused to give a fraudulent reference?

browneyes77 · 11/12/2017 20:05

From a company perspective she is technically trying to commit fraud. By asking for a fraudulent reference. Also if she’s asked you and you’ve said no, who’s to say she won’t try someone else she thinks will help her in the business. They’ll want to ensure they put a stop to that.

It can backfire on the company if someone gives references on their behalf that are false and that person turns out to be a natural born psycho like old nut job CF.

bluepumpkin · 11/12/2017 20:07

Bloody hell. Some major issues in their family! I think they must both be lying about what’s happened, her and her mum, surely?

Loonoonow · 11/12/2017 20:10

I've read both threads in the last hour and whilst they were thoroughly entertaining I feel for you OP. You have done nothing wrong at all, but acted in a very professional manner throughout this saga and these two mad, entitled, bitches are bringing you down and sucking you into their personal drama. I hope it all dies down soon and your involvement with these total nutters ends here......and you get a nice new handbag.

Moomin15 · 11/12/2017 20:10

Yes they do.

StefMay · 11/12/2017 20:13

Well done OP - on both threads!

StefMay · 11/12/2017 20:13

Well done OP - on both threads!

QuitMoaning · 11/12/2017 20:23

We are not allowed to give references. Normally I think I want to help the person but I never considered it could help protect in situations like this.

redexpat · 11/12/2017 20:24

Interesting isnt it how the mother waited until you were on your own before sge confronted you, and threw coffee in your bag rather than your face. Hope youre ok Flowers

deifersmum · 11/12/2017 20:38

Report it and get an injunction if she can do it once if she thinks your a pushover she'll do it again. Don't mean to scare you but you have to protect yourself

HettySunshine · 11/12/2017 20:42

Wow op! I've just rtft and your previous one. What the actual???? I really hope you get a positive outcome from the police. How scary.

lovealookabout · 11/12/2017 20:46

Shameless placemarking. To be honest there’s no wondering where FTCF gets her sense of rational behaviour from is there...

JingsMahBucket · 11/12/2017 20:50

@redexpat, I had the same thought but didn't mention it earlier. It's the classic MO for intimidating people. Wait until someone is alone so nobody else can back them up. Men also do this to women when they want to harass them. This also happens to hijabi women as well. It's almost always when they're alone or with just their kids that people all of a sudden feel ripe/safe to say something.

GrooovyLass · 11/12/2017 20:57

Kept up with the other threads but only just found this one and I'm astounded! I'm glad you showed the text to the police - that sounds awfully like a threat to me.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/12/2017 21:25

I don't think FTCF has told her DM a pack of lies at all. I think that they are both batshit crazy and truly believe that they and theirs are ENTITLED TO BEHAVE HOW THEY WANT!!!!!

Even if my DD had told me that someone at work has ruined her dances of a "career", I wouldn't threaten them and pour coffee into their accessories. That is what we in the medical professions refer to as "barking".