Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 10/12/2017 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustAnIdiot · 10/12/2017 10:57

I've just read the original thread - just staggering!

BTW you could have given her a reference without being her immediate boss - a character reference.

Now that would have been fun to write Grin

Appuskidu · 10/12/2017 11:01

OMG-they both sound unhinged!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 10/12/2017 11:05

FTCF is clearly not very bright, since she's willing to incriminate herself in writing, what with the threatening text and the "do me a fake reference" email

kaytee87 · 10/12/2017 11:08

Op don't be embarrassed, her mother damaged your property and then she threatened you! Also let the police deal with it in whatever way they usually would.

kaytee87 · 10/12/2017 11:08

Do you still have the emails asking for a fake reference btw?

wonkylegs · 10/12/2017 11:14

Reading this and the previous thread I'd love to say I thought it was a fabulous work of fiction but I've worked with a person who was this deluded and who caused real harm to her colleagues. It didn't end well and I wouldn't be able to talk to her ever again due to the problems that she caused. Some of my former colleagues get really really angry/upset at the mention of her name. Funnily enough it started off with similar CF behaviour to OPs situation and her manager not really doing anything and then when she was finally called out she dug her heels in and started to blame everyone else for her behaviour. She then started a chain reaction of actions that led to real problems for everyone else - I can't detail them as they would be too outing but just recalling the whole incident makes me very angry. I know she still thinks it's everyone else's fault even though she's come out of it relatively unscathed (although she lost her job she did find another one) the rest of us ended up reeling from the fallout for a long time.
I learnt one thing from the incident and that was to deal with problems as they start even if it might be uncomfortable as they only get bigger and more troublesome as time goes on - oh and some people are batshit crazy.

Msqueen33 · 10/12/2017 11:15

I think you need to follow it up with the police. Even if they just get a warning that type of behaviour is just not on. I read your other thread and bloody hell she’s a cheeky cow! Her mother has no excuse to behave like that.

Flokidoki · 10/12/2017 11:26

I suspect the text message is an attempt to change the story and they are unaware/hopeful that there is no cctv plus no witness as your DH was absent.

YANBU in the slightest to report it - the fact the PCSO already had shows that. This could very well escalate - it already did when CF decided to text you. It’s not isolated and you should definitely take steps
to protect yourself. She may have poured it in to your bag rather than on you but it could have damaged anything important, or splashed, or if you’d reflexed and gone to grab your bag you would now have one hell of a scald. Coffee is heated to between 140 and 180.

Don’t second guess yourself. And enjoy looking for your new bag!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/12/2017 11:27

I've woken up this morning feeling a bit blush that DH reported it last night. There's much more important stuff going on

The thing to remember is that even the worst criminals started somewhere, and nipping things in the bud is often said to be the best way to prevent things escalating

I obviously hope this doesn't escalate any further, but if it does, it's also vital that they already have this incident on record

DamsonGin · 10/12/2017 11:27

Utterly batshit, and not too bright either. Think it would be useful for the police to have a word and nip things in the bud as they don't seem to know when to drop it.

Onelastpage · 10/12/2017 11:32

Just to add my voice to the choir, take it as far as Police think reasonable. It’s about putting a boundary in place - people don’t get to throw hot liquids on other people’s property.

Namechangetempissue · 10/12/2017 11:39

I also think the text is an attempted deflection of blame -trying to make out that you were verbally abusive to her mum first. I presume you didn't reply (sorry if I have missed that bit).
I think you have done the right thing contacting the police, I would have done so and would be asking for the price of the bag and contents or I would take her to court. I'm so glad that you have the CCTV and also witness evidence. I bet they are sitting at home thinking they are terribly clever and hilarious!
Good luck OP.

rjay123 · 10/12/2017 11:45

I would take it as far as the police recommend. It will make them think twice before trying to intimidate you any further.

ptumbi · 10/12/2017 12:05

As far as I know, the Police will visit, explain that this behaviour is not on and warn of the consequences if it happens again.

The CF DM may get a criminal record, and CF may well be investigated too.

I live in a small town and the police came out straight away when we were threatened by DPs NDN. They went and warned NDN that if he did it again he would be arrested.

NDN (alcoholic nutjob) has thankfully been quiet since.

Whinesalot · 10/12/2017 12:08

If the police visit them then I think it would be perfectly reasonable for them to suggest that the bag is replaced. It probably won't actually happen but it might make them take things more seriously.

SparkleFizz · 10/12/2017 12:14

Don’t be embarrassed about taking this to the police OP.
If it was too trivial for the police, then the community police officer wouldn’t have bothered making a note of it when the coffee shop owner reported it, right?

I’d also be concerned about the possibility of this escalating, especially given FTCF’s subsequent text message.
And I second pp’s suggestions about checking security settings on social media etc. The mum recognising you suggests at the very least, a possibility that they’ve been looking you up on photos on social media.

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain · 10/12/2017 12:18

CF doesn’t really begin to cover this one Shock

CaledonianQueen · 10/12/2017 12:31

I agree with others, this could just be the beginning of a harassment campaign! FTCF's Mother is obviously VERY angry with you, FTCF is too and that text was proof! Please take this further! I agree with the poster who suggested she was a narcissist (I think on the other thread), if she is, then she will likely get herself in even more trouble, as they honestly invent deluded interpretations of the truth and they actually believe them! This was obvious in your last thread! Narcissism does run in families, so yes to those who said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Did you ever go into more detail about FTCF with your BIL? I wonder if he warned the other agency she applied to?

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 10/12/2017 12:31

Tbh this also sounds like or sounds a like it could escalate to harassment.

That text message was almost threatening.

SwimmingInLemonade · 10/12/2017 12:32

Just caught up on both threads. I can't believe how many posters were all "It's none of your business, just stay out of it," with regards to the original cheeky fuckery. No wonder people like that get away with it for so long Angry

I'd take this as far as you can. They're a bonkers family and they think all the normal rules don't apply to them. They need schooling Grin

ChasedByBees · 10/12/2017 12:40

I'm glad you reported it, don't feel bad about taking this further.

Appuskidu · 10/12/2017 12:56

What did everyone else in the cafe do when she tipped a scalding hot drink into your bag? I can’t believe the group of older people she was with would condone that? It’s frightening.

MsJolly · 10/12/2017 13:19

Glad you reported it-it is verging on harassment now given the follow up text. I would not engage and respond to that. Get the Police to have a word and leave it. Also write a report at work just so you're covered there, just in case more cheeky fuckery occurs. She's a batshit crazy CF!

Phalenopsisgirl · 10/12/2017 13:20

If I was your boss I’d be insisting the police were called to speak to you at work as I would consider this a work related incident. Have you contacted someone at work yet? They need to be aware.