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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone remember the Flexi-time CF?

885 replies

Abouttoblow · 09/12/2017 20:12

Thought I'd heard the last of her but unfortunately not. Colleague who left her job due to cheeky fuckery with her flexi-time for those of you who missed the first instalment.

I'm moving between fuming, embarrassed and incredulous at the moment. I've also laughed but I think that's shock more than anything Smile
DH and I were out for the afternoon at a Christmas market. Had a lovely day and stopped at an coffee shop with tables outside before coming home.
We'd been there about 10 minutes when I noticed a group of ladies in their 60's a few tables away and one of them was staring straight at me. I didn't recognise her and carried on with chatting with DH. I noticed her again when all her friends started turning round to have a look. I didn't know any of them.
I'm starting to think she may be someone I'd been in contact with in a work capacity as she is looking quite angry. As I said in the original thread I work with children/families and I have been approached by people previously who have been angry and upset. Only a couple of times though.
I continue to ignore it and we're getting ready to leave. DH goes inside to pay and use the loo and the minute he does this lady gets up and comes over, with her takeaway coffee cup in her hand. I can tell by her face it's not going to be a pleasant chat.
She asks if I'm pleased with myself and I say "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are". She says she's FTCF's mother and who do I think I am to refuse her daughter a reference! Do I realise I've ruined her career and I should be ashamed of myself. Everyone is looking now and I don't want to get into it so I just say she really doesn't have all the information.
She then takes the lid off her coffee and empties it into my fucking handbag on the table and walks off!!!!
I'm absolutely gobsmacked Shock
I'm home now and want to call FTCF and give her a mouthful but DH is trying to talk me out of it.
Maybe I should just have a large G&T Gin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3023633-To-make-an-official-complaint-about-colleague

OP posts:
Billben · 10/12/2017 10:02

She could have poured the coffee over you but she didn’t as she probably knew that scalding you could have serious consequences. By pouring it into your handbag her crime seems less serious and she probably thinks she’ll more likely to get away with it unscathed.

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 10/12/2017 10:02

OP, these are not reasonable people and a quiet word from a PCSO is unlikely to stop them. Let the police do their thing.

GabsAlot · 10/12/2017 10:03

dont play this down op thyr harrasing you

people lik this need talking to or thy will carry on and do it to others

LevelHeading · 10/12/2017 10:04

Don’t be embarrassed! They are both batshit, I would report it if I were you.

369thegoosedrankwine · 10/12/2017 10:08

Don't be embarrassed at all. This should never have happened to you and the police will make a note and be interested.

I once reported being followed, felt embarrassed telling the police as technically nothing happened but they said to me 'if nothing had happened you wouldn't even have to consider calling us '. They will make a note for anything in the future. These two are clearly unhinged and I would get them on the radar asap.

DartmoorDoughnut · 10/12/2017 10:09

Just read the preceding thread whilst pretending to put the washing away can’t believe the audacity of the CF and it is now clear where she gets it from! Glad you’re ok and that the police are taking it seriously. Rather worrying that the daughter works with children tbh!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/12/2017 10:09

By the way, you know that text that FTCF sent you? Did she actually use the abbreviation "DC"? That's a Mumsnet thing isn't it?

guestofclanmackenzie · 10/12/2017 10:11

Gobsmacked!

Don't feel embarrassed and don't play down the facts to the police as both of them sound unhinged you have no idea what else they are capable of.

And I also have successfully washed a Kipling bag on a gentle wash in the machine. But my bag is made of material..( not leather) Wouldn't attempt it otherwise.

BarryTheKestrel · 10/12/2017 10:13

I'm glad you reported this OP. Don't downplay it, they are nasty and frankly crazy fuckers. Police may be able to put a stop to this before it escalates further.

Jaxhog · 10/12/2017 10:13

Hopefully, this will be the end of it. If not, the police are aware.

How bizarre though.

gunsandbanjos · 10/12/2017 10:14

Wow, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree! What a bunch of lunatics...

Boysnme · 10/12/2017 10:17

Just read both your threads. I can’t beleive that you were getting a hard time for being annoyed at this! I can however totally beleive that someone would do this! You should definitely ask for a quiet word to be had with both Mum and daughter or everything bad to happen in their lives will somehow end up being your fault.

Boysnme · 10/12/2017 10:17
  • believe
Original poster
Abouttoblow · 10/12/2017 10:18

Showme I just had the fear when you mentioned the DC abbreviation Smile but checked the text and she's said children and I've changed it to DC.
She has said previously how awful she thinks MN is so I'm pretty sure she's not on here.

OP posts:
Billben · 10/12/2017 10:20

*Your husband has already made a report to the police, and now they’re coming round tomorrow to get even more details?

Do you live in a hamlet of 14 people? confused*

Two of our barns got broken into last month during one Sunday night. Police were with us within 10 minutes of us noticing. We were told somebody was coming out to dust for fingerprints from 9 am onwards. They were here at 8.30. Yes, I do live in a hamlet (a few more than 14 people) but if anything, being rural doesn’t always play in our favour when we need help in a hurry. So I still don’t see what you are confused about. If the police have enough officers to send, they’ll send them regardless of where you live.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/12/2017 10:21

Abouttoblow oh good. Sorry didn't mean to put the wind up you then, it just occurred to me she might be a user!

browneyes77 · 10/12/2017 10:23

I cannot believe the gall of this woman and her psycho mother.

Do not be embarrassed about reporting this to the police. What they at doing is tantamount to harassment and her mother assaulted you and caused criminal damage to your property.

The police need to go see her and her mother and warn them to stay away from you. When she talks about actions having consequences, she’s needs to practice what she preaches.

MarmiteandToast · 10/12/2017 10:23

I almost hope she is! And knows what we think of her cheeky fuckery (progressing to complete insanity)

Although don't want it to inflame matters for OP!

Aspergallus · 10/12/2017 10:24

Please don't ask the police to just leave it...if people are protected from the consequences of their actions, their actions tend to escalate. A charge of criminal damage/ threatening behaviour /harassment may just nip in the bud an otherwise long running saga of harassing behaviour. And really, it sounds like the problem with both of them is that the haven't been forced to face the consequences of their actions in the past. Nothing else modifies behaviour quite as effectively.

Biber · 10/12/2017 10:25

OP, it is good that this has been noted with the police. Please don't underplay it. The follow up text from the original FTCF is disturbing. Didn't you say that her professional role involves children and families? I wonder how suitable she is for this responsibility.

Sorry you are going through this shit.

woofmiaowwoof · 10/12/2017 10:29

Yes I’d love to have the CF on here to provide an explanation of her CF world view wrt flexible shirking!

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 10/12/2017 10:38

I cannot believe I missed this the first time round!! I just read both threads Shock

You missed an opportunity OP, when she wanted a reference you should have written a truthful one and sent it to her "for approval" Grin

Will you show us your new handbag Wink

Pannacott · 10/12/2017 10:46

No don't ask them to have a word and leave it at that! At least ask them what the usual procedure would be for something like this? They are the experts, accept their guidance.

BaronessBomburst · 10/12/2017 10:47

I'm not sure exactly what OP and FTCF do/did for work as I'm always a bit rubbish at reading between the lines, but I get the feeling that it's probably just as well that someone so lazy, self-absorbed, and unstable is no longer working with vulnerable people or children!

tiptopteepe · 10/12/2017 10:49

Im so glad you went to the police. I dont think thats an overreaction at all. If people like this are allowed to get away with this behaviour they will just carry on doing it to more people. You cant harass and assault someone in public because you feel they gave your relative a bad reference. Honestly I think you are a bit of a hero for reporting it. They need to face some consequences so they wont go round doing this to anyone who upsets them. Ive been the victim of harassment myself and the woman who did it to me had done it to lots of other people. I was the one who reported her to the police and it did stop. People cant just go around behaving like this, its illegal and ridiculous.