To ask for your most hated/annoying things that happens in Soaps?

[MissionItsPossible]

I started listing these in a "things that annoy you" thread and I thought of so many I thought I'd make my own.

Soaps. I can watch them and be entertained by them but the characters stupidity and predictability in the storylines annoy me sometimes! Let me count the ways:

1. Most people, when having a secret conversation, try to keep things discreet like "don't mention what I told you earlier, ok"? Not in soapland. It's "don't tell anyone that I slept with my ex husband in his new wife's bed last month and now I'm pregnant with his child, ok?" Cut to new wife hiding behind door, listening to everything, plotting revenge.

1. Character claims to be poor and jobless and they are depressed. Next thing you know they're in the bloody pub or at the cafe having some tea and cake. Thought you were skint!?

1. "Have it on the house". I must say I'd love to know where all these friendly freebie-giving establishments are in real life because the only time I've been offered something for free is when I've had a bottle of wine accidentally knocked over me by the waiter. Staff in soap land are always giving stuff away free, even when they've only worked there five minutes!

1. So self-absorbed. (Think of Janine in EastEnders for this scenario). How come is it that she can set someone up for a crime and they are ranting and raving in the Queen Vic as the police bustle them out, screaming abuse at Janine and not one person sees that sly, evil look she always gives and think it suspicious? Also, whilst we're on the subject of Janine (and other baddies) why is it that when someone has seemingly pulled off a crime that is completely out of character for them, and they are blaming Janine, nobody stops to think "Hang on a minute, maybe this character is telling the truth and it actually is Janine, the woman who says and does bitchy and nasty things on a daily basis"?

1. Characters just "decide" they are going to move to America or Australia. Erm, no, you cannot just do that, it takes ages to sort out! And when they do move their whole life fits into one suitcase.

1. "I've got something really important to tell you. Meet me at the pub later". Two things: One: Which pub? What time? Two: Er, no, this really important thing is not waiting until we're at the pub later, you will tell me this instant"!

Please add your own and yes this is lighthearted.

It always makes me laugh that all soap characters seem to have a job on their doorstep! Hardly anyone works outside the street in Corrie! When the factory girls were unemployed, none of them bothered to look for work in Manchester. God forbid having a job outside Weatherfield!

Organising weddings on Christmas Day!!

I love Doctors, but...

The resolution of major MH issues with a single GP visit.

'Youre anorexic'

''Jeez I'd never realised that until now- I will see the referred specialist, but in the meantime I will totally be normal!'

Pfffft.

Drug addictions last about 3 episodes and are recovered from in 30 minutes
Serious illness is cured with one operation and there's no ongoing issues (Looking at you coronation street kidney story)
Nobody EVER gets pregnant because they planned it and if they actually do it's not their partners baby
If anyone plans to conceive they can't, ever
My favourite was Peter in EastEnders moving to New Zealand?/Australia? And Lauren decided to go with him, and two hours later they've bought a ticket on the same flight and got visa etc, on one market traders wage

Babies are born so prematurely that they may not survive. Have a couple of episodes in hospital (where they get a ward to themselves) then are ready to come home and are inexplicably huge babies. Hollyoaks baby Oscar's discharge.., Darren just appeared in the bedroom clutching a large baby. Didn't bother letting the mother know he was ready to be discharged then?

I get annoyed when there is a great disaster and cull in a soap. It seems like a very lazy way of removing characters!

In neighbours for example, every 6 months or so there is a fire/explosion/collapse of a building etc. that gets rid of at least one or two characters, and kicks off a new story line.

How nobody ever has the same name!

How labour gets to its most painful straightaway. Erm, there is usually a build up in real life!

How someone starts off as a total bastard, and then ends up Mother Theresa.

As a mother that has lost a child, I hate it when bereaved mothers in soaps are turned into baby snatchers!!
Grrr!!!

Its weird. This time last year Toyah and Eva hated each other. Now they describe themselves as sisters and are sharing a baby?!
Simon, Summer, Eileen, Josh, Toyah (with her face like a new born baby's slapped arse) Devs Mrs and kids, Beth, Angie, Fiz (with her teeth like a row of bombed houses) and Maria (with her fanny like a punched lasagne)all need to be decimated by a Manchester meteorite shower.

AM: decides to move to NZ

PM: moves to NZ with one suitcase.

Leaves rented flat full of entire contents behind.

All the invisible children. Do they live in cupboards?

No one ever goes to a supermarket.

There was a supermarket in Corrie called Bettabuys. Managed by Reg Holdsworth assisted by Curly Watts.

Soap weddings and funerals - some relative, often a brother or sister, always appears who has never previously been mentioned.

Pregnancy is always a surprise. Even married couples never seem to plan a pregnancy and then get pregnant.

There are never any happily childfree couples in soaps.

In Corrie at mo 97% of the kids have had a parent/s die. Often a parent and step parent. After the latest tradegy and the teenagers gather together no one says I lost my mum, I lost my dad, I lost both my parents. They just never talk about it.

Infertility is actually commonly used as a storyline, though. It all happens far too quickly, of course! It took DH and me 4 years to get to the point doing one cycle of IVF (the only one in our case but that's beside the point). In soap, newly married couples immediately start TTC, worry if it doesn't happen in the first couple of months, go straight to their GP and find out that one of them is infertile, and suddenly they're having IVF or adopting. It's just so annoying!

And you also get ridiculous storylines like the Toyah and Eva baby plot rather than characters just doing what real people do, that is go got therapy and come to terms with a life without children. They do show couples adopting, but again it's all far too quick.

And on that storyline, how come Leanne hasn't noticed that Eva is pregnant??

Rant over.

Eva People giving birth, their waters break, immediate full on contractions, 10 minutes later they're 10cm dilated.

Hollyoaks - when there were about 30 murders in under a year...

Also there is only one police person, usually on call at all times - I'm looking at you, Rob Hollins of Doctors!

And I'm guessing all those Underworld workers are on min wage yet can afford breakfast at Roy's, cake run at Roy's, pint and hot pot at t'Rovers for lunch and then back int Rovers in th'evening! Where am I going wrong with my life?!

I don't like it in soapland when they portray the police to be so nasty when questioning someone or they've been called out to a house.

All the police officers should be sacked for incompetence. People get away with murder so often, the Phelan murder spree went on for far too long. And it's even more annoying that he somehow managed to survive that fall. It was time for the story to end.

It seems that only Craig Tinker is up to the job.

Corrie is bugging me right now. Eva has supposedly had a 5 week prem baby, was discharged the same day/possibly next, and managed to register the birth that day! Her sister Toyah is now passing off the baby as her own and honestly thinks that their surrogate who had a miscarriage will NEVER turn up. FFS Disaster waiting to happen.

"This time last year Toyah and Eva hated each other. Now they describe themselves as sisters and are sharing a baby?"

Leanne made them sort it out. Watching Classic Coronation Street, there used to be much more talk (and showing) of people going out of the area and on day trips etc. Real television programs and chart music.

Hollyoaks, no correct procedures are ever carried out by Professionals. Tegan was out drinking all day, Joe has a fall and within hours Tegan is on duty at the hospital and on her say so, Joe's life support was switched off.
Kim, commits crimes, gets sectioned, but is back at work two weeks later. And every similar issue is just ignored by the Hospital, Police etc.
The Characters lifestyles don't match their income. Babies are in childcare, even if their Mums don't work and they don't have a Dad.

All Soaps, everyone's house turns into a Tardis when someone needs somewhere to stay.

All soaps. Someone's sat at the table eating breakfast, someone else rushes in, takes a slice of toast, shouts "sorry,I'm late". Rushes off.

When someone escapes from prison and the police seem to be looking everywhere apart from the village they bloody live in. (Hollyoaks the last few nights. Ryan Knight on the run but no one thought to have police searching the tiny Hollyoaks village.)

Also the amount of food that gets wasted in all soaps!

I think Corrie has lost the humour that was always its trademark. It's great that they're exploring challenging issues, don't get me wrong, but there have been too many over too short a period of time. There's been the grooming storyline, male rape and now Aidan is about to commit suicide. And how many disasters can one street have?? And the Phelan storyline is doing my head in. It's just too much drama!!