AIBU to be upset that dd's nursery teacher bartends at night?

[Dec13girl]

I picked 3 year old dd up from nursery earlier this week (at 6pm) and her teacher was telling everyone that now she has to go to her other job. I asked her about it and it turns out she works shifts behind a hotel bar on nights and weekends. I am really upset and concerned because I think she must be exhausted, and I don't want someone who is that tired watching my dd. On top of that, this same teacher sent my dd home in soiled clothes yesterday (didn't change her after an accident). I'm finding it hard enough to be a working mother, and his just makes me want to resign. Should I pull her out of this nursery?

Yes be upset she has a full time job and needs to work another.
Don't be so fucking selfish. Think about her. Your precious child is still being looked after. You could even!! Shock!!! Horror!!! Look after your own kid if you're so concerned!

I foolishly thought your concern was for the teacher's welfare. Why did I expect that from mn?

Kind of sounds like you're looking for a reason tbh.

Nursery workers are so low paid, I am not surprised she has a second job.

YABVU - nursery workers and DSs nursery earn minimum wage and get SSP when off sick - they have to make ends meet somehow.
I work FT and my DH has to work 2 jobs (one FT) so we can make ends meet too.

If you can give up work and look after your own DC - bully for you, but don't be so ridiculous as to think you have a right to complain about someone who is either doing another job because they have to or because they want to.

So you picked her up? Obvious question but why couldn't you have changed her clothes?

Asking what others have asked? If yiu noticed her clothes were soiled at nursery, why didn't you change them? Or did she dirty them On the way home? You are really quite unreasonable, and people like you leave me speechless. When I was a palliative care worker I also worked in a pub, did it make me a lesser carer?

Wow this thread has grown very fast. Not surprised! Poor nursery worker.

How do you know it was her that sent your DD home in soled clothing? It could be someone else?

The soiled clothes I would speak about. What she does outside work is none of your business.

Just how soiled were the clothes?
Did you not say anything at the time?

Unfortunately there's more and more people like the OP that at best don't want to associate with low paid staff of any sector, and at worst, think they can dictate what they do outside of the service they are paying for.
When everyone in this situation of needing 2 or more jobs (and being complained about it!) Has had enough of the likes of OP using anything as a stick to beat them with, and leave - where will we all be then?! We'll have to look after our own children and elderly relatives, and there will be no one to serve the snobs in shops, pubs and restaurants so they can have a nice meal or get their shopping or have a beer after work.
Have a bit of bloody respect OP! The nursery worker is doing something about her situation rather than bemoaning it. She's being pro active and IMO setting a good example. You have no right whatsoever to complain about it. If you don't like it then look after your own child.
The soiled clothes is the only thing warranting any kind of conversation and even then you cannot just assume she was responsible and it happened because she was tired.
It's probably been said already but get a grip!

Soiled clothes YANBU.

Working two jobs YABU. I've done it, and if you are used to it it isn't a drain. I used to work 7 days a week on top of college so it wasn't really different. People need to get by. You should be more annoyed about people not being paid a decent wage.

Presumably you are happy to have your nursery fees increased so she doesn't have to work a second job? No? Oh well then.

Sorry but I agree with the others. YABU. The pay is so poor in that sector I’m sure lots of nursery workers are doing similar.
Would you also ban nursery workers from ever having their own children? I can assure that small children are better at causing sleep deprivation and exhaustion than any bar job would!

Did you know op, that some of our emergency services are actually doing it as a second job?
The mountain rescue team, the coast guard, the retained firefighters are all on calla and may have already done a days work when they get the call to respond to an emergency
I don't hear you complaining about them being too tired

OP, out of interest, how much do you think nursery workers earn?

The pay is appalling.

An apprentice can earn as little as £3.50 an hour

You need a good kick up the arse, OP.

I’d be upset that that my DC’s nursery worker had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, considering what an important job they do already.

I wouldn’t be upset about the effects in may have - as pp’s have said if she wasn’t working she could be out doing any manner of things that could affect her ability to care for your child and you wouldn’t know about them

Surely be more angry with society that a job she would have worked hard to do isn't enough to survive on. Judgemental much op? One soiled nappy come on. W
How do you know when it happened? How many paremts catch soiled nappied the second they happen?

The pay is awful in nurseries. Absolute minimum wage for the majority, crap pay and its awful it's allowed. I've worked in a nursery and out of about 15 women, i Was The only one who only had one job. The apprentice (a year younger than me) was on 3.75 per hour and had there jobs - nursery, in a bar, and on the weekend she worked in a hotel. Occasionally she babysat too. She was permanently tired and it was a shame she had to do that

Like a lot of other people I had assumed you were disgusted by the horrendous pay that people working in childcare take home, meaning many have to work multiple jobs to stay afloat.

But you’re just a selfish beastie bothered that somebody might be tired.

How unfortunate for the staff that they have to work hard to make sure your child doesn’t inherit that attitude.

Not really anyone's business how she lives her life outside of nursery time. Clothes could have been soiled within last half hour of finishing time. Not reallly that a big deal. My 3/4 year old would leave nursery with soiledd clothes, and knowing what he is like with clothes, toilet etc at last minute I ignored it, especially as the staff were brilliant and he loved going there. He is in reception now and still talks about them

The soiled clothes issue always bugs me when I read it on here. It's always the nursery sent my child home in soiled clothes!

The nursery I work at we get all the children's coats on and are sitting having a story or songs before parents arrive. Children sometimes wet then, unless they say, how are the staff supposed to know. As a parent if you notice then please say the staff will only be happy to change them.

The amount of times I have taken children from parents in the morning who have clearly pooed on the way into nursery but parents say nothing, or nappies that have been on from the night before are always the first to complain if their child is soiled at pick up time!

Do you feel the same way about doctors? After all most of them work more than ‘full time’ hours and often only have a couple of hours between shifts.
Lots of people in low paid jobs have to work 2/3 or even 4 jobs just to pay the bills. I have 1.5 hours ‘break’ between shifts tomorrow, including a 12 mile drive. I start at 8:30 in the morning and finish at midnight. It’s shit but that’s the wage the government has decided i’m worth (nhs worker), which sadly isn’t a lot.