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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset that dd's nursery teacher bartends at night?

146 replies

Dec13girl · 07/12/2017 14:05

I picked 3 year old dd up from nursery earlier this week (at 6pm) and her teacher was telling everyone that now she has to go to her other job. I asked her about it and it turns out she works shifts behind a hotel bar on nights and weekends. I am really upset and concerned because I think she must be exhausted, and I don't want someone who is that tired watching my dd. On top of that, this same teacher sent my dd home in soiled clothes yesterday (didn't change her after an accident). I'm finding it hard enough to be a working mother, and his just makes me want to resign. Should I pull her out of this nursery?

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 07/12/2017 14:41

Please complain. Please.

Just so they can tell you to fuck off.

Do you have ANY idea what nursery/preschool workers make? It's not much! And she's working 2 jobs rather than relying on benefits while she tries to make her way in the world.

becotide · 07/12/2017 14:42

I guaran-fucking-tee you that your daughter gets about as much individual attention as every other child there, which will be, by necessity, very little. Little enough for it to make no difference how exhausted the nursery assistant is. If you want quality one-on-one, none exhausted, exclusive care, hire and pay for a nanny.

jannier · 07/12/2017 14:42

My daughter works in a very expensive nursery in London she only has one job but leaves home at 6.45 and returns anywhere between 8 and 10 depending on how much paper work they have to do (she then has observations to write up at home) she is permanently exhausted and spent her half term catching up on paperwork only having one day off. Weekends are mainly paperwork if she was more local she would have less late nights and could do another job and still do less hours than where she is now.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/12/2017 14:42

DS2 is a student nurse, currently on an A&E placement. He is also a team leader in a well known pub chain.

He doesn’t have a choice you see if he wants to live. His bursary doesn’t cover his rent. We are a one income family due to me being disabled and we support him as much as we can with his food, books, new uniform (because they get given one in the first year but it doesn’t last and if you need new you have to buy it) and shoes for placements.

He works his arse off. Yes he’s knackered a lot of the time but I would be pissed off if I thought people were judging him rather than the Govt who don’t support student nurses, and other HCPs, enough.

Nursery workers aren’t there for the money, they are there because they love children. It’s a crying shame that she’s having to work two jobs.

feral · 07/12/2017 14:43

Have you heard yourself?

You should be upset that she needs more than one job because she can't live on the nursery wages but not thinking of yourself.

The clothes is a separate issue.

Violletta · 07/12/2017 14:44

hahahah very funny.....

oh wait, you're serious???

thats even funnier

HermionesRightHook · 07/12/2017 14:46

Don't be ridiculous. If it bothers you that much then campaign for living wages.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 07/12/2017 14:46

A lot of hospital doctors work 100 hours a week . Shifts can be 12- 24 hours long. Are you upset about that or is it just because bar work is "seedy" or something? Confused

Working in a children's nursery and doing extra bar work would not make anyone incapacitated with sleep deprivation.

Jaxhog · 07/12/2017 14:48

YABU, unless she turns up hungover or drunk of course!

I would mention the soiled clothes if it happens again though.

moonmaker · 07/12/2017 14:49

I thought you were going to say you were upset on her behalf because she is so badly paid she had to have two jobs Hmm

ShiveryTimbers · 07/12/2017 14:49

You should be upset because nursery staff are paid so little that they have to do this Confused

Awful that wages in this sector are so low; it's quite shocking.

Unfortunately government policy including the poorly-funded "free" 30 hours has only made things worse in most areas.

Branleuse · 07/12/2017 14:53

are you really worried that this may be tiring for her, or are you judging her as a barmaid

EdmundCleverClogs · 07/12/2017 14:53

Are you going to reply op, or are you too busy reporting this thread to the newspaper? Your last one was suitably ‘controversial’ after all.

milkandcookie · 07/12/2017 14:53

you need to get a grip and move on, a soiled nappies happen from time to time their kids, if its that much of an issue take dd out and watch her yourself or move her to an independent?

so she works 2 jobs, maybe you can pay her to stay at home instead?

LoverOfCake · 07/12/2017 14:55

Perhaps you would rather she spent every night drinking in said bar instead of working and came home at the same time but hungover.

Yabu, and a snob. You're happy to pay the nursery fees so that you can work and someone else is looking after your child but are questioning the fact that that someone else dares to have another job because the money they earn looking after your child isn't enough to live on?

Yes, resign and look after your own child if someone having a job you don't approve of bothers you that much. Angry

insancerre · 07/12/2017 14:55

Here's why nursery wages are so low
champagnenurseries.co.uk/

PinkHeart5914 · 07/12/2017 14:55

I don’t think op will be back 😂

Maybe she has removed her child from nursery and is going quit her job to care for her own child so she isn’t around under paid nursery workers that need to do extra jobs?

LemonysSnicket · 07/12/2017 14:56

She's bartending ... not bar-hopping. Why are you acting like working behind a bar makes her incapable or immoral somehow?

BarbarianMum · 07/12/2017 14:56

Take her put and send her to a more expensive nursery where they can afford to pay the staff a living wage. Hmm

kaytee87 · 07/12/2017 14:56

It's none of your business if she has a second job. As pp have said she may get less sleep if she had a young child, would you object then?
How bad was the soiling? If you only just noticed it when you got home then there's every chance she didn't notice either. If it was really bad then you'd change her at the nursery.
If you want and can afford to be a sahm then go ahead but don't blame the nursery worker.

DarlesChickens61 · 07/12/2017 14:58

Here... have a grip ||

My son is a Uni student. He has 2 jobs to pay his way. He still manages to stay awake in class and pass his exams.

If you feel you need to complain about the soiled clothes then do so...

Tragicboozyflaccidclown · 07/12/2017 14:58

Nursery staff are paid a shockingly low wage, your concern should be that the people who care for your child aren’t paid a living wage so they need to top up with a second job

Parsleyisntfood · 07/12/2017 14:59

My dB is a landlord and he has had lots of part time staff over the year, many doing it as second job. The ones he loves are people that can’t relax. Some work 35 hours a week then bounce around another 16 at the pub. Exercise gives you energy and all that.
I talked to a woman once amazed that she never moaned and she said it was a mh thing. If she stayed on her own or let herself get bored she spiralled.
So could be anything. Lots of people work 2 jobs and are great at both.

LoverOfCake · 07/12/2017 14:59

"I don’t think op will be back" ah no, too busy wrapping the presents that others bought her dd for her 3rd birthday as Christmas presents so she doesn't have to shell out for more.

So not only is the OP a snob but she's a tight-arsed one....

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 07/12/2017 15:04

Seriously? Your DD goes to nursery, you're not paying a nanny for 1-1 care. Nursery staff are not well paid!

Have you any idea how many nurses have second jobs??

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