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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset that dd's nursery teacher bartends at night?

146 replies

Dec13girl · 07/12/2017 14:05

I picked 3 year old dd up from nursery earlier this week (at 6pm) and her teacher was telling everyone that now she has to go to her other job. I asked her about it and it turns out she works shifts behind a hotel bar on nights and weekends. I am really upset and concerned because I think she must be exhausted, and I don't want someone who is that tired watching my dd. On top of that, this same teacher sent my dd home in soiled clothes yesterday (didn't change her after an accident). I'm finding it hard enough to be a working mother, and his just makes me want to resign. Should I pull her out of this nursery?

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 07/12/2017 14:14

"sent my dd home"

She didn't send your dd anywhere. You, or someone else, picked her up.

Does that mean you waited until you got home to change her? Surely if it was bad you would have changed her while you were still there rather than waiting till you got home?

EdmundCleverClogs · 07/12/2017 14:15

Really Hmm

gillybeanz · 07/12/2017 14:15

YABU, nursery workers aren't teachers.
Maybe, a preschool teacher is employed in some pre schools but generally speaking nursery workers are qualified to GCSE standard and earn min wage.
Most have to take evening work if they have bills to pay.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 07/12/2017 14:16

I work in a nursery and most of my colleagues have another job...two of them have three! They do it because nursery wages are crap.

So she works behind a bar! It doesn't mean she's drinking...In fact you should be pleased she's not clubbing every weekend.

Question the soiled clothes but mistakes do happen. I'm sure they will be more careful in future.

ShesAStar · 07/12/2017 14:16

I thought you were going to say you were concerned nursery workers were paid such a small amount of money that they have to work two jobs. I don’t think your daughter will suffer in any way because her teacher has two jobs.

BhajiAllTheWay · 07/12/2017 14:17

you can't assume a link between bar tending and the soiled clothes!! How do you know she's tired?Confused Lots of assumptions here. Address the clothes issue, or see if happens again but as other posters have said, other nursery staff may work, be carers for elderly parents, young children....you can't dictate who does what in their spare time.

Spartak · 07/12/2017 14:18

I'm a health professional and I work in a bar some evenings and weekends. My boiler has broken and I'm saving up to replace it.

I get far more sleep and down time than my colleague who has two children under 4 years old. Perhaps we should ban mothers of young children from all positions of responsibility as well. After all, how can they possibly concentrate on three hours sleep a night?

bobbetybob · 07/12/2017 14:18

HmmI work 5.30 till midnight, crawl into bed about 1am. I mange to look after my two children without too much problem. They are both thriving. My issue would be that she feels the need to work two jobs. Maybe instead of taking your child out you could suggest they need to increase her wages?

Whoyagonna · 07/12/2017 14:24

Is your dd still in nappies?

RhiannonOHara · 07/12/2017 14:25

Maybe instead of taking your child out you could suggest they need to increase her wages?

This, if you're that worried.

AnnetteCurtains · 07/12/2017 14:26

are you suggesting she didn't change your daughter because she was tired from her other job ?

insancerre · 07/12/2017 14:27

So you arrive at closing time and feel put out that that the staff want to leave at their shift finishing time?
Because that's how it reads

JacquesHammer · 07/12/2017 14:28

YABVU

There is absolutely NO reason why she cannot be perfectly competant at both jobs, the real issue here is that wages are so low she needs to.

Was she aware your DD had an accident?

gillybeanz · 07/12/2017 14:30

OP, I know where you are coming from as I wouldn't want this for my children, when they were little.
It's part and parcel of nurseries though, and if you don't like it or think you can do a better job, you have the choice to care for your child during the day if you wish, just like many of us did.
You could employ a nanny, but there again you'd have absolutely no say what they did when not working for you.

Glumglowworm · 07/12/2017 14:32

YABVU

it’s absolutely none of your business what she does when she’s not working at the nursery.

The only legitimate concern is that your dd wasn’t changed. Don’t turn it into anything more than that or you’ll come across as badly as you have here.

MiniTheMinx · 07/12/2017 14:32

Is she still in nappies?

Is there aink between working mothers and delayed potty training? Might be, but you'd get shot down for suggesting it.

At the end of the day, working full time leaves you less time and energy to care for DC's. Looking after very young children can have you up half the night, should Ops boss let her go because she's too tired to put in the effort?

RatherBeRiding · 07/12/2017 14:32

Absolutely none of your business what she does in her time away from the nursery. I did 2 jobs for a number of years (office work during the day, bar work in the evening) to pay my mortgage as a young single woman. I was never "exhausted"! Have some common sense.

As for the soiled clothes - are we taking a splash of juice or full on wringing wet with muddy water after falling over in the playground? The former - really??
The latter - yes, bring it to the attention of the nursery.

paxillin · 07/12/2017 14:32

sent my dd home in soiled clothes yesterday She must walk home alone, what an independent 3 year old. Otherwise, you'd have changed her at nursery, wouldn't you?

MiniTheMinx · 07/12/2017 14:33

*a link. Silly bloody phone

Ecureuil · 07/12/2017 14:33

OP, I know where you are coming from as I wouldn't want this for my children, when they were little

Wouldn’t want what for your children?
I’m a SAHM and still send my child to a pre school where her key worker has a second job in a bar, 2.5 days a week. I have absolutely no concerns about her care, and both DD’s adore her.
Incidentally, I suffer from insomnia. Often have 2-3 hours sleep a night for prolonged periods. Worked in a very professional capacity pre children. You have no idea how tired anyone is, or how much rest/downtime they get.

user789653241 · 07/12/2017 14:33

Offer her to pay the equivalent of her bar wages. She doesn't need to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, and you will have rested and dedicated nursery teacher. Win win.

C8H10N4O2 · 07/12/2017 14:34

Are you aiming for another thread in the tabloids, this time on nursery workers?

If this happened, take up soiled clothes with the nursery. Anything else is none of your business.

RandomDreams · 07/12/2017 14:37

Do you realise how low nursery workers wages are? My friend brings home £950 a month for doing 45 hour weeks.

It's disgusting how low paid they are.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2017 14:37

Yabvvvu her spare time is none of your business. She might need to make ends meet especially before Christmas, well you know how well paid Nursery staff are don't you!

witchofzog · 07/12/2017 14:41

Soiled clothes? Yes bring this up. But the working in another job is really none of your business. You are coming across as very false. You are not concerned she is tired. You are concerned she isn't up to the job because of her other job. You simply cannot dictate or control what someone does when they are not at work. For all you know her colleagues could be chronic insomniacs who sleep even less than this worker

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