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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little sad? (Secret Santa related)

141 replies

JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 19:48

At work amongst our group of 10 including our manager did a Secret Santa.

We are a fairly close group, spend quite a lot of time together and I get on well with everyone (although I don't know my manager as well).

Our budget was minimum £20, and date of exchange decided a month ago.

I found a great gift for the person I was buying for, as they had briefly mentioned in conversation that they wanted it. They were very grateful and genuinely happy with their gift, which to me is much more important than receiving a gift. I get very excited when people open presents I have bought them!

Everyone else received lovely personal gifts, such as a new clutch bag, makeup, something related to their upcoming wedding, scarves, personalised gifts and candles.

My gift was a box of chocolates. It was not even wrapped, and was given in the carrier bag it was bought in, receipt still inside. The person had not spent even the minimum £20. Of course, I said thank you (although I don't know who bought them). It was quite difficult to be ecstatic about a box of chocolates though!

Other people in our department were admiring people's gifts, and when they asked to see what I got they looked a bit awkward and didn't know what to say Blush

I am not a difficult person to buy for- I have interests which the others are all aware of (although perhaps maybe my manager doesn't).

AIBU to be a little upset?

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 06/12/2017 19:50

Yes, I would have said exactly what I thought of them. Sounds like a man present.

LoniceraJaponica · 06/12/2017 19:51

That's really mean. Although, IMO, £20 is quite a lot for a work secret Santa. Our budget always used to be £5, but now it is between £5 and £10. Perhaps £20 was too steep for them?

thelastredwinegum · 06/12/2017 19:52

£20 min? Shock ours is a fiver misses the point

Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 19:53

Japonica, we are all on the same salary and everyone apart from me lives at home with their parents (including my manager in her mid 30s!). Ie. They don't pay rent and have all their money to save and spend.

OP posts:
Devendra · 06/12/2017 19:53

I feel your pain.. we did it once and I ended up with a novelty royal family toilet roll (The mind boggles). Like you I had put in a bit of effort with mine as had everyone else. I was very open about how shit I thought it was and hoped the person who bought it heard me.

Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 19:54

WineGum Grin the whole reason the budget was set at £20 was so we could each give and receive something a bit more meaningful!

Clearly that point was missed by someone Wink

OP posts:
sonjadog · 06/12/2017 19:54

Minimum 20 pounds is a lot to spend on a Secret Santa! But even so, a box of chocolates shows little thought, which is a lot more upsetting than the amount spent. I would be a bit peeved about that too.

waitingforlifetostart · 06/12/2017 19:55

I don't think candles, smellies etc are personal either tbh. Yanbu that it at least be wrapped though.

DurhamDurham · 06/12/2017 19:56

An old manager once bought the office cleaner some rubber gloves and a toilet brush. I kid you not Sad

MyBrilliantDisguise · 06/12/2017 19:56

So this person has spent a fiver and received a gift worth £20? That really isn't fair.

Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 19:57

Durham Shock that is horrendous!

Disguise They spent £15, if that makes a difference

OP posts:
thelastredwinegum · 06/12/2017 19:58

It is shit though. Last year mine turned up a few days late and quite blatantly been grabbed on their way to work that morning - it was from another female though. At least it was in budget.

Have you got any inkling who it's from? I'd eat all the nice ones then leave the rest on their desk.

sacgonflable · 06/12/2017 19:59

Crap effort. I'd be annoyed too!

DandelionAndBedrock · 06/12/2017 19:59

Out of interest, what was the date on the receipt? Had they forgotten to buy anything and bought the night before/on the day?

Celticlassie · 06/12/2017 19:59

Was it fancy chocs? Hotel Chocolat implies thought. Quality Street do not.

Julie8008 · 06/12/2017 20:00

I get very excited when people open presents I have bought them!

Its often a lot of pressure to be responsible for another persons excitement. It would be so much easier if everyone could just buy their own presents for the secret Santa.

Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 20:00

There is only one man in the group of us. It could be him, but he wasn't in this morning (working shifts) so couldn't see his reaction!

Otherwise, I have no idea. There are a couple of people who I knew it wasn't.

I felt a bit embarrassed Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 20:01

Dandelion they were bought a week ago

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 06/12/2017 20:01

It's the apparent thoughtlessness of the gift, rather than it being under budget, that's disappointing. Could it possibly be that the donor had some kind of crisis (not mentioned at work) going on, and the Secret Santa gift ended up being a hasty obligation to fulfil rather than something they could afford to spend time choosing?

DontTouchTheMoustache · 06/12/2017 20:02

They forgot op, it was a panic buy.

DandelionAndBedrock · 06/12/2017 20:03

I feel that it would be better if they were a last minute thing really! It's a crappy effort.

I once got a promotional freebie from someone's husband's company, but at least it was useful.

LEMtheoriginal · 06/12/2017 20:03

Hotel chocolat are more than £20 I'd be thrilled with them

honeysucklejasmine · 06/12/2017 20:03

Sounds like someone forgot.

Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 20:04

Moustache they bought them a week ago. And we had been given plenty of reminders by the organiser!

Yes, it is completely about the thoughtlessness.

OP posts:
Original poster
JollyGiraffe · 06/12/2017 20:05

I was expecting to be flamed for being ungrateful Grin. Thank you for making me feel better!

I am trying to focus on how happy the person I bought for was. That's a much better feeling!

OP posts: