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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
perfectstorm · 07/12/2017 18:49

I was speaking to someone last week who walks her twins to Reception. One scoots and the other is in a carrier and half way they swap. I honestly couldn't believe it when she told me!!

Have you had the same reaction when people drive, though? I mean, their kids are put straight into car seats and get no exercise at all. I don't comprehend why one is seen as mollycoddling and extraordinary when the other is so normal, people don't even notice.

user1499419331 · 07/12/2017 18:50

A ring sling will carry a child up to age 4 and ergonomically it's better than pushing a buggy. I've got both but a ring sling is so much easier if we are not going to be carrying bags. I only use the buggy if we are doing shopping. It's like a car for me. Ring sling takes the weight off even for my 2 stone toddler.

53rdWay · 07/12/2017 19:01

Have you had the same reaction when people drive, though? I mean, their kids are put straight into car seats and get no exercise at all.

Indeed! Interesting to compare this with the last thread about driving DC very short/walkable distances to school, where half the posters were going “nothing wrong with driving, I’m not going to walk in the rain!”

Booboo66 · 07/12/2017 19:06

I’ve not been able to carry my dd since she was 2. She’s sturdy too! I can’t even imagine carrying her now at 4. She walks or scoots between 7 and 10 miles a day on average, sometimes more (long school run, lots of clubs, no car) by 4 surely they are capable of walking and indeed should be walking!

Yb23487643 · 07/12/2017 19:08

4 is fine, def I’m back tho! Front would totally ruin your back. Unless the woman has a core of steel in which case bravo!

Lilloza · 07/12/2017 19:09

Imo 4 is old enough to be on there own 2 feet
My dd has bn walking out independantly since she refused her buggy at 2 1/2 i do not drive and never would i suggest at 4 that i would carry her about,

Passenger42 · 07/12/2017 19:13

Is this a joke? I can barely carry my four year old for more than 10 mns without my arms aching let alone get him in a sling to go shopping. My child would kick and create merry hell if I tried this sort of public humiliation on him. If your 4 year old is tired you pull out the faithful buggy not any sling contraption. She sounds nuts poor kid

Lovelymess · 07/12/2017 19:16

It's bizarre. Let them be free and run and burn off some steam!

53rdWay · 07/12/2017 19:18

If your 4 year old is tired you pull out the faithful buggy not any sling contraption.

Why is a buggy more reasonable though? Confused

My 3-year-old isn’t in a sling much these days, but I can still do a fair distance hill-walking with DC in a back carry if needs be. Must be good strength training if you’re used to carrying them - am puzzled by all the people who say they couldn’t possibly manage the weight.

Spudlet · 07/12/2017 19:19

I wish to god I'd taken the sling out with me today.... I could have stuck ds in it when it was time to leave the zoo instead of carrying him in my arms. Would have been so much easier!

Thanks for this thread though op - it's inspired me to look into a proper toddler sized sling. Grin

Frusso · 07/12/2017 19:19

If your 4 year old is tired you pull out the faithful buggy not any sling contraption.

Yes, because you can carry a buggy in your bag.Confused

Frusso · 07/12/2017 19:22

here you go spudlet Grin

purplebunny2012 · 07/12/2017 19:26

If she's really not going far, a child of almost 4 should be walking. It can't be good for them to be carried everywhere.
YANBU

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 07/12/2017 19:27

And people saying your child was too big for a carrier. Yes, a carrier. Not all carriers.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 07/12/2017 19:32

Passenger42 maybe she likes being close to her dc in a nurturing, loving sort of way. Save your pity.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 07/12/2017 19:33

My son is only 7 months, think he is around 11kg but just made the switch from front to back carrying and its so easy and comfy. If you do it every week your back will get stronger as your child grows. I hate using the pram when its busy so can totally see why it could be prefered to a buggy for older children.

Winterflower84 · 07/12/2017 19:36

Yes, it is stupid. To me it's the same as seeing a 4-year-old in a buggy or with a dummy.
My 2.6yo DD walks or scoots everywhere.
They need to allow their kids to grow up!

mathanxiety · 07/12/2017 19:37

Ferrier, lots of people with 4 year olds have younger children or babies.

I suspect most of the carrying happens because there is nobody smaller to carry and it has become a habit that is hard to break.

mathanxiety · 07/12/2017 19:48

DrRanjsRightEyebrow Thu 07-Dec-17 14:17:15
maybe that's the generational thing: A sweeping statement but I do find women in their 50's far more concerned with what the neighbours might say about them than my generation (pushing 40). But perhaps that's just the over 50's in my life

I am 53, and I have actually never seen anyone carrying a child old enough to run, skip, hop, jump and climb. If you're old enough to play ice hockey (and you are at 4) you are old enough to walk.

I don't care how you look. I breastfed my DCs until they were an average of 3 years old. I am sure that looked odd or different or unexpected to many people back in the 90s.

As an over 50 however, I have many friends in the same age bracket, and we occasionally share stories of our pelvic floors. One friend in particular is a physiotherapist specialising in the pelvic floor. I am not making stuff up when I talk about the risk to this area.

Passenger42 · 07/12/2017 19:48

We were talking about a four year not a two year old. My son goes to school and dresses himself and would not want to be put in a sling he would run up the street or ride his scooter!

Tiredmumno1 · 07/12/2017 19:49

Thank you for the recommendations Runnsometimes and DartmoorDoughnut, I shall take a look Smile.

My ds has autism and I think something like this would really help. A genuine question for people who don't agree with them, how do you know the child doesn't have SN? Do you go and ask? ConfusedHmm

How can you then judge unless you actually know?

53rdWay · 07/12/2017 19:55

Most British children probably don’t get enough physical exercise on the whole, but there’s far more of them in cars than in slings. If you’re hugely shocked by a nearly 4-year-old in a sling, but not by people like my old neighbours who drove to the school half a mile away, then it’s not really about how much exercise the children are getting, it’s just about what you’re used to seeing.

mathanxiety · 07/12/2017 19:59

DrRanjsRightEyebrow, your photo shows only one sling.

It is entirely possible that there was only one sling in use 40 or 50 years ago.

I was born in 1964 in an affluent middle class area (Dublin's south suburbs) that was teeming with babies and small children. If slings had been available they would have been sold to parents in that area.

MadameOvary · 07/12/2017 20:00

No judging for anyone who wants to carry their DC in slings at four but the idea of me doing that with DD makes me wince. She was 9lb 12 at birth and I was 9 stone and 5ft 2.

mathanxiety · 07/12/2017 20:03

Tiredmum, you are assuming people are judging. I do not think this is the case.

People are saying it's important for children to exercise and to feel a sense of independence. Others are saying the mothers will experience physical problems later in life.

I am personally curious about the idea that the carrying is an important part of the mother-child relationship, and wondering who benefits most. Is it equally an important part of father-child relationships in families where older children are carried?