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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
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15
Fuckit2017 · 07/12/2017 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 14:17

maybe that's the generational thing: A sweeping statement but I do find women in their 50's far more concerned with what the neighbours might say about them than my generation (pushing 40). But perhaps that's just the over 50's in my life.

brasty · 07/12/2017 14:20

I have no issue with slings. But I only ever see 1 woman using a sling locally, and the occasional parent using a backpack type carrier when I am out hiking. Sling use is not common generally. Absolutely fine of course, but not common.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 14:26

guess it depends where you live. I'm in a major city in south west and I see a lot of slings. The hills and narrow streets with cars on pavements, plus terrible traffic congestion makes it a really sensible option.

brasty · 07/12/2017 14:29

DrRannj That is probably to do with self esteem. I have been watching a PC series about a police woman set in 60s/70s; reminds me of how women and girls were routinely treated in the past. That has an impact.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 07/12/2017 14:29

But perhaps that's just the over 50's in my life.

Maybe. Different people brought up different ways. I have no worries at all about what other people or neighbours think about me, don't give a flying fig to be honest.

brasty · 07/12/2017 14:30

DrRanj I think it has more to do with class than narrow pavements IME

Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2017 14:30

Why are you on this thread Cheerios, if you don't have an opinion Confused. Your quite clear in yours!

HouseworkIsASin10 · 07/12/2017 14:34

Put it this way, I am no shrinking violet. Never had self esteem issues. If I wanted to carry my DD in a sling till she was 8 then I would, nobody would stop me doing something that I wanted to do.

But was not the norm for me, so can't get my head around it.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 07/12/2017 14:34

I think the difference is it wouldn't occur to me to look at someone and make a judgement on them looking ridiculous for doing something so innocuous - you doing making such a statement doesn't gel with not caring what people think.
brasty good point. I remember my mother telling me as a teenager I shouldn't chew gum in public as it looked 'common'! Confused

curryforbreakfast · 07/12/2017 14:41

So this is basically a thread of someone pointing at a woman and saying she looks ridiculous. And that's ok?
Would you like your neighbours to point at you as you walk by and tell people you look ridiculous? Your hair, your clothes, any other aspect of your physical appearance.....

gotthemoononastick · 07/12/2017 14:52

'racist fool'!!!ultimate shut down card played right there.rolling on the floor laughing!
playing the 'did you mean to be so rude?' card now.trumped!!!

curryforbreakfast · 07/12/2017 14:55

Well you were racist and foolish, so I don't see what is so funny about it.

LostInTheTunnelOfGoats · 07/12/2017 16:19

I don't see what's so funny gotthemoon , you should be embarrassed to come out with such nonsense. You've been proved wrong now and you clearly don't like it.

lauryloo · 07/12/2017 17:26

i carried my SEN almost 3 year old today - she was sick and she likes being carried. Plus she can't walk and a buggy isn't always practical

AnnaBonnett · 07/12/2017 17:28

Indeed why not! Take off the judgy pants and leave her alone

Madsy1990 · 07/12/2017 17:32

I wouldn't do it. But honestly sometimes I feel like it. He's outgrown the pram and I'm sick to death of it anyway and walking with him is just hell, throwing himself on the ground every few paces and dashing out in to roads on a bad day. It's v stressful, but sticking him in a sling is only going to delay progress 😫

Madratlady · 07/12/2017 17:33

Yabu. Would you judge a mother with her child in a pushchair?

It's an alternative to a pushchair (I switched from sling to buggy for my eldest when heavily pregnant with my second and found it much more of a faff), it's easier than carrying a tired child in your arms and it's quite nice chatting and having cuddles as you go. And having carried since babyhood you're used to it, they don't seem as heavy as they would if you were trying to sling a larger toddler without doing it before.

greeneyedlulu · 07/12/2017 17:36

Saw a mother washing her car with a baby strapped to her whilst calling out to her husband inside the house!! Why??? Just Why??? Give the baby to dad then wash the car if you must!!!
Screams of martyrdom to me

LoveYouTimMinchin · 07/12/2017 17:36

FFS DrRanj - I was carrying my baby in a sling in my 40s. I'm in my 50s now and couldn't give a stuff what my neighbours think about me, they aren't friends or family or important to me. I think you might be thinking of people who are in their 80s or above, maybe? People who are in their 50s now were born in the 1960s you know.

All the people on here "why would you judge someone for something like that?" do not pretend for one second that there aren't things that other people do that make you raise your eyebrows a bit!

KylieMinoguesHotPants · 07/12/2017 17:37

She’ll regret it when her pelvic floor implodes at menopause

FontSnob · 07/12/2017 17:41

What a load of uninformed bollocks some of you are spouting. Her back, pelvic floor etc will be perfectly fine if she’s wearing the correct size ergonomic carrier. As for your opinions on what she or her child looks like, who gives a flying fuck.

perfectstorm · 07/12/2017 17:42

You have no idea whether her child has SEN. It's not something that gets stamped on a child's forehead at diagnosis, and many parents don't share that info, and for many things, diagnosis takes years and arrives at school age. Symptoms, however, do not.

And even if he doesn't... I don't know how we've arrived at a point where strapping a child of any age into a car seat while all parties sit on their backsides for the shortest of journeys seems perfectly average, but show a child in a buggy or in a sling, and people instantly start criticising their parenting. It's a shame. For our health, our public health services, and the environment. More people should be walking for short journeys, and if slings and/or buggies achieve that, great.

zeeboo · 07/12/2017 17:43

The judgy pants are hoiked high on this thread! If you've never toddler worn and don't know what wraps, SSCs or Mts for pre-schoolers are like then you may judge, as is your right, but you'd make yourself look pretty stupid as you don't know what you are saying.
From the OP I will take the warm fuzzies of knowing that that child is having their needs met and that their Mother is still enjoying the special closeness that baby wearing gives.

bluepumpkin · 07/12/2017 17:44

Oh bloody hell what a lot of judgey posts! What’s wrong with wearing your baby in a sling and washing the car ffs?! Maybe the dad was busy and maybe the baby likes to be worn while her Mum moved about?
I would struggle to carry my four year old in a sling although I have a toddler size carrier. Sometimes your toddler likes to walk a bit and then be carried, sometimes you need to walk at an adult pace not a toddler pace. I don’t think it it looks weird. I see a lot of people carrying toddlers, maybe not 4 year olds so much but who cares?
And as others have pointed out, you don’t suddenly carry a four year old in a carrier, she’ll have been carrying her child since she was a baby probably so built up muscles.