Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

"I see there are some posts saying how silly and terrible it is, with the usual MN rider of "not including SN obviously".

Yes if it is a child you don't know ( and sometimes one you do know) you won't know if there is sn. The staring and glaring from those who are going on and on about it being ridiculous isn't helpful.

Curry I've said multiple times that it's not the "piggyback" that's weird but carrying a large child on your FRONT in a sling.

Why is it worse on the front oppose to the back? Is it because you can chat to your child on the front?

You may have OP, but others are including back carries as well.

could you answer my question though about how you'd know not to laugh at and judge me? or would you just do it anyway?

So back carrying in a sling isn't infantising, it's just if they are on the front?

If the mum can carry like that, and is happy to carry like that, then what is the problem?

brasty

I had no comment about a 4 year old in a sling. But you don't negotiate as to whether a 6 year old will walk somewhere. But then we have very different ideas I guess

So what do you do when your 6 year old refuses to do something you need to happen within a tight timeframe? Or does your six year old literally always do as they're told without argument? Because if so congratulations on your Midwich Cuckoo

No, OP, you've repeatedly commented on the child being in a sling at all as opposed to a scooter or a bike/trike. You're back-pedalling by saying it's just the front carrying you're objecting to.

Some bizarre comments on here! If a parent and a child are happy with the arrangement of a sling carry every now and again what the hell has this got to do with anyone else?!! I love carrying my 3 year old when the opportunity arises - I have a specific toddler sling. I don’t get to very often though as the baby is usually on the front and I am only petite so tandem carrying is not quite for me!

I also don’t get the infantilising thing. They are only tiny once, why rush them away from you? I’m an unashamed attachment parent and my 3 year old is incredibly confident in new settings. He also likes scooting and running - just sometimes fancies a cuddle with me or his dad when we are out and about. Plus he gets a better view in crowded situations!

I'm just saying what I think. I can do that...I think it looks silly. Some people agree with me and others don't.

I won't be "cornered" or answer questions which people are firing at me agressively though. Deal with the fact that not everyone thinks like you!

Would you still have said it looks silly if your neighbours child did have SN?

you wouldn't and you know that. But it would have looked exactly the same.

I won't be "cornered" or answer questions which people are firing at me agressively though. Deal with the fact that not everyone thinks like you!

But it's perfectly OK for you to drop terms like 'silly' and expect to go unchallenged? You said you wanted a discussion but refuse to discuss?

Righty-o then.

I'd still give my 10year old a piggy back if she asked, not wrapped in fabric though!
(misses the point)

On the physical side of things if she was carrying a 4 year old she has more than likely been carrying the child since birth. This means they have gradually built up the strength and muscles required. If the sling is done right the weight is spread out much better than carrying a child in arms at that age I would say.
I couldn't judge on why she was carrying the child - so many reasons and I have seen children that age in buggys so if they have always used a sling the child and mother are used to this it makes sense.

This basically boils down to a clash between two parenting philosophies. You have the group who let their babies, toddlers, children decide when they are 'ready' to do stuff, 'responding to babies' needs', versus those who think one of those needs is for their parents to gently guide them to the next stage in their development. The first group think that the second group are authoritarian and unmaternal, and the second group talk about infantilisation.

Not going to get into that debate here. What I don't like is the way that posters try to shut it down, with 'what's it got to do with you?' and 'none of your business'. It's a form of no-platforming. People having opinions and voicing them, politely, isn't being 'judgemental'. It's how society regulates itself and how cultures evolve.

People having opinions and voicing them, politely, isn't being 'judgemental

"That woman looks ridiculous with that kid hanging off her" "pear shaped grey haired long skirted types" "they shouldn't do it, its not necessary" "why can't they just do what works for me instead of what works for them".

Not judgemental? Keep telling yourself that

Curry I never said those things though...but it's me, the OP, that as Thyme says, you're trying to shut down.

How am I trying to "shut you down" any more than you are trying to do the same to me?

you started a thread to ridicule someone for doing something totally harmless, and you encouraged others to do the same. Why should I not say anything about that?

You didn't answer my question btw. Funny that. I guess because there is no answer that doesn't sound awful?

Late to the figh... err discussion.....adding a stone..

It is cultural appropriation if you are pale and not in Africa (the back way) .

Not judging, just doing a double take when seeing this. Thinking ,
'you've come a long way baby'.

In my generation kids got on with it, no such thing as slings. It's like anything nowadays, there is a lot more pussyfooting around with kids.

Helicopter parents making sure little Jimmy doesn't fall over.

I still think carting a 4 year old around is ridiculous. But then it wasn't the norm in my day so I wouldn't be used to seeing it.

Cultural appropriation?

Yeah, you're a bit late with that wooden spoon.

Cultural appropriation my arse. My grandmother tells stories of people putting babies on their back and knotting their shawls or blankets over them while they cleaned their houses or fetched water in 1920s Ireland. The idea is pretty universal, you almighty eejit

I KNEW a 'never did me any harm' would be along at some point Bonus points for mentioning helicopter parents, well done you. How I wish I was born in the good old days too. Wasn't it all so rosy.

I am old enough to still remember in my early childhood seeing babies carried in knotted shawls. It was as people got more money they started buying prams.

It is cultural appropriation if you are pale and not in Africa (the back way)

You racist fool. Do you think the only culture that carried babies in bits of cloth is "african"?
It's not unique to any culture, you couldn't find something more universal or that is less cultural appropriation.

I will stop though. Had no idea I was being racist dies laughing