Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

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AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

I will point out this is dd2 I'm talking about. Dd1 on the other hand walked everywhere (outside) from the moment I could get shoes for her dinky little feet. I didn't have a sling for dd1 she was a good reliable walker. It doesn't mean all dcs are.

The only way he would agree to go..

I had no comment about a 4 year old in a sling. But you don't negotiate as to whether a 6 year old will walk somewhere. But then we have very different ideas I guess.

Math Apparently so! And a large portion of those who follow it, seem to be here!

I guess If it's always there as an option for them then it becomes the norm.

Don't fancy walking equals sling.

"Don't fancy walking equals sling." woof woof Pawlov.

"Not past about 2 and a half" poor dc how cold.

Woof to you too lady

I had no comment about a 4 year old in a sling. But you don't negotiate as to whether a 6 year old will walk somewhere. But then we have very different ideas I guess.

No, brasty. We have different children. It has nothing to do with ideas. Congratulations if yours will obediently up and walk quickly somewhere they don't want to go. My DS would do nothing but spread himself on the floor and wail because he didn't want to go to a stinking hospital full of old, dying people and scary machines. I'll repeat what I said upthread that this is the same child who did around six miles a day on foot on a visit to Paris earlier this year, ran a mile footrace and can ride a bike without stabilisers. The sling helped me get a job done quickly. It was the only time before or since he'd been in it in months.

Ice Cold

It was me who suggested the sling as a last desperate attempt to get out the door - it hadn't crossed his mind. What was essentially a piggy-back with mum was a fun incentive, not an easy get out.

But you don't negotiate as to whether a 6 year old will walk somewhere.
So what would you do when faced with a child that hates hospitals and visiting there terrified them?

Neither of us are talking about carrying a 6yo in a sling on a daily basis, or carrying them around all day.
And the OP is talking about a 3yo.

And I've seen plenty of people piggybacking smaller children, 4/5/6/7yos, a sling just makes it easier on your back.

Everyone's different and has their own way of handling things. I admit I find it weird seeing anything other than a baby in a pram, but that's because my eldest hated the pram and had been walking from 8 months so by 15 month it was gone, then I had twins, which stayed in the pram longer but it was so wide and awkward it was easier without it so that was gone by just over 2 years and then my final one, I had three very young children and a baby so I wasn't going to lose my hands to a pram so she's never been in one, she was carried in a wrap or baby carrier until about 18 months then insisted on walking like her siblings. In my old school parents used to pick the children up from nursery with a pram and I found it so weird because all of mine hadn't been in a pram by that point. But I fully appreciate it's me that's the odd one in that situation.

I think we all find what works for us and go with it. Perhaps the neighbour has a kid that hates walking and it's easier to wear him than carry him? Who knows. Perhaps he has mild hyper mobility (all of mine do and you wouldn't know by looking at them) and he suffers after walking?

yeah the infantalising thing doesn't wash with me. He's 4. 4 year olds get tired legs and need cuddles from their mum. I'd say that's entirely age appropriate. He can also swim unaided and ride a pedal bike without stabilisers. He does gymnastics. He gets loads of exercuse but is a very slow walker and is knackered after a day running around at preschool. I can't take a buggy on my route and it's only 1.5 miles so using a car would be crazy. On the infantalising - on his first day at preschool, his first day of childcare in his life, on the settling in, he was the only kid to say "you don't need to stay mummy, you can go and pick me up at the end of the day!" and had no problems since. He is more independent than most of the kids in his class. He just likes to be close to me to tell me about his day when I do appear. So where is this supposed infantalising having a negative impact then eh?

I see there are some posts saying how silly and terrible it is, with the usual MN rider of "not including SN obviously".

I carried my SN child past the age y'all think is inappropriate. But since we didn't carry a sign saying so you would have laughed at me, said how silly I looked, how I was babying my child and harming them.
Are you ok with laughing at and judging parents of SN children because you don't know that they are? If you are not ok with that, how is it ok to do so to other parents?

Eyebrow mine got tired too but I got them to ride a scooter or trike.

well behaved child nope.

yeah sorry, I will not allow my just turned 4 year old to ride a bike along main roads during rush hour. It would be inconsiderate for him to ride a bike on pavements full of people walking to work and dangerous for him on the road. He's a good cyclist but he's just 4, his road sense isn't the best and he's too young for his bikeability course. I hate seeing kids whizzing along on scooters on pavements and have been nearly ankle rammed several times. Save it for the park or woods etc.

Why do you care though? Really strange to get so very worked up about something another parent is doing that's not affecting you or your life in any way possible. If you were secure enough in your own life and parenting, you wouldn't feel the need to spout such vitriol against others.

Look do what you want. In real life I would never say anything about how someone else parents unless it is actually dangerous. But of course people will notice if the way you parent is very outside the norm.

Don't fancy walking equals sling.
I'm my case dd didn't particularly like the sling either. But it did mean I could keep her safe, and on some days it did make the difference between whether I could leave the house or not.

Not every child is a obedient willing walker or could be trusted on a bike or scooter.
Some children will refuse them too, refusal is not limited to walking.
both of which were not options for my dd, she doesn't have and never will have the coordination or balance medical reason for that for it.

My infantilised five year old is perfectly happy to ride a scooter or a bike - infinitely prefers his bike to a sling these days.

My three year old cannot manage a balance bike or scooter when tired because both of those things can require more effort for tired legs than walking. He's also even slower on a bike or scooter. So a sling is the best option for both of us. OP you've mentioned a few times 'a bike with a push handle on it' - so you're basically pushing your child along with little effort on their part. What in the name of god is the difference between that and a sling or pushchair?

But of course people will notice if the way you parent is very outside the norm

And giving a three year old a piggy back is very outside the norm? How is that?

My only comment was about a 6 year old in a sling. And that is outside the norm.

Giving a six year old a piggy back (whether wrapped in cloth or not) as a one off (as the poster said it was) is not outside the norm either.

My nearly 2 year old would break my back. She’s big for her age (in the highest centile for height and just under for weight) I haven’t been able to carry her since she was about 8 months old!
I don’t see the problem with it if the mums capable of doing it..