No Janet you can’t OWN running

[Janetsadick]

It’s not “your” hobby.

Nobody is stealing your thunder by taking up running.

If you faux roll your eyes and mention it again I’m going to throw a fucking stapler at your head

AIBU?

Its not running you do anymore it’s vigorous cardio vascular exercise (and you now own it)

@Biggreygoose I need your SIL's number so I can put her straight immediately. I will not be out-Janeted on sleep. She can have the Nutella one by way of compensation.

I work with three Janets:

1 Janets parenting, has all the advice, knows better than everyone. Hasn't been so bad since she had her own baby and realised none of that shit works;

2 Janets healthy eating, but is also an alcoholic;

3 Janets life problems - more life happens to them than anyone else ever and if you dare to mention a problem they roll their eyes and say you think you've got problems. Problems have included youngest child learning to walk and therefore making life even more difficult. They were genuinely devastated at their normal child developing normally.

A male Janet is definitely a Brian - our office Brian cannot see someone boil the kettle without telling you how to do it properly, as no-one knows how to make tea like Brian.

It's just chucking a tea bag in a mug Bri, calm your tits.

My sister Janets recycling. In my own house last week she told me off for putting something in the recycling that does go in there and put something in that doesn't and sulked when I took it out and then told me she "just recycles everything", er, you mean you put everything in the recycling bin whether it's supposed to go on or not? That's not quite the same, is it.

She lives in a totally different area of the country to me, where they no doubt have different recycling rules. But oh no, she knows best. Recycling Janet!

I know a christmas Janet. Apparantly she loves christmas more than anyone else

I own pigs in blankets.

My office Janet is called Katie, she owns crafting and all things that might be considered to be crafting and also stamps, stamping etc.

oh! and because she had twins she owns parenting. because nobody who ever had an individual child, can possibly comprehend any of it as much as she does "what with having twins"

There’s two different Janets on this thread.

Janet #1 owns stuff and gets really pissy if other people try it.

Janet #2 owns stuff and is therefore the world expert on it.

Actually there’s also Janet #3 who does both, gets narky about people doing it and about them doing it wrong.

They’re bloody everywhere.

Anachronistic you are right. MY Janet is a type 1 Janet on Crafting and a type #2 Janet on Parenting.

I know a Christmas Janet. Starts posting ‘x sleeps until Xmas !!!!!!’ Posts in January.

Our daddy school rep has Janeted the teachers. If one of our kids have trouble with another kid, we should apparently go 'through him in private'. Can't wait to tell the teachers this at parents evening. I'm pretty sure they have no clue that he is a counsellor as well as raffle organiser.

There is a type 4 Janet. She is part of a Janet Hive. Hive Janet has is a member of Mensa, went to a certain school, follows a religious leader or is a member of an ultimate frisbee club.

Only other members of the Janet Hive do the hiving correctly. Sort of collective ownership of an elite group.

Anatidae..can I ever so gently suggest that you are Janetting Christmas Janets? There have been other Christmas Janets, but OH NO, your Christmas Janet starts in January!

Mwahahaha.

Yeah, point taken. she does though. Her tree has been up since November ...

I bloody hate Christmas and it really pisses me off to see grown adults talking about ‘sleeps until...’ and posting Elf memes.

I accept I am a grinch.

What's a man-Janet name?

I'm going to go with Jonathan.

We actually have a Janet and a Jonathan. Janet owns Christmas, all vague ailments, several non existent allergies and all surgeries since she had her ankle done in '88. So naturally when other colleague had to have emergency brain surgery, Janet knew the prognosis and had the poor chap written off before he even got sedated.

Jonathan is a Janet with added Mansplaining.

He's keen to explain to me painstakingly how to do my job. The one that I do every day with my eyes shut and one that is not in the slightest bit related to what he does. Just today for example, Jonathan wants to know the procedure for Important Document so I explain the chain of command and I explain that CEO is the only one allowed to sign, and that in the event CEO is not here, it may be signed by X person, provided underling speak directly to CEO and clear it with him first. So Jonathan skips several steps of the process I just outlined and got Y to sign document with no authorisation. Because Jonathan owns my job.

19 sleeps! HTH

Soupforbrains, I'm afraid your office Janet cannot own parenting because she had twins. My office parenting Janet had no children when she gave out her best unsolicited advice and therefore trumps an actual parent.

Proper lol at ‘manet’

Anyway. My MIL Janets being hard done by and misunderstood. no one is as hard done by and misunderstood as her. She’s not just an interfering PA old baggage, she’s MISUNDERSTOOD, and no one else is as misunderstood as she is. No one.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest i think my OH is your Brian.....

Janet wants you to get fat.

The Janets are all merging into just women we don't like. I don't mind but it's just worth noticing that we are just hating on Janet

I'm enjoying the posters uptgread massively Janeting themselves by owning stuff other women tried to own
Janet Own Goals

This. I swear to god every year. Grown adult with no kids.

Why can’t people have normal pastimes like embroidery and bondage?

@anatidae LOL I nearly spit out my tea

At last - we have the Three Women of the Handy-Shorthand Apocalypse:

The Wendy

The Zilla

and, at last - The Janet

what a time to be alive

I am unaware of the Wendy can someone educate me?